Page 7 of Love Letter Lost
“It’s nothing. Just a, uh, note that I must have forgotten to pass along. Silly me! Oh well, it’s too late now. Might as well throw it away.” She reached for the envelope, but I pulled it out of reach. Something about her reaction wasn’t adding up.
“In that case, I might as well take a look. Maybe go for a walk down memory lane.” I slipped my finger under the flap, tearing it open to find a single page of lined paper filled with the same boxy handwriting from the envelope. I glanced at the bottom to discover the sender, my heart freezing at the name: Ridge.
“Livvy, what is this?” I gasped out, my throat constricting from the sudden discovery.
“A letter.” She sat oddly still and straight in the kitchen chair, not looking at me.
“I can see that. Why do you have a letter from Ridge that’s addressed to me?”
Livvy sighed. “You were never supposed to find that.”
I stood, waiting for more. Livvy finally pushed to her feet and began pacing, gesturing to the letter in my hands.
“Ridge wrote to me, a couple years after the accident. He wanted to apologize, to reconnect and make things right, but he didn’t have your address, so he asked me to give you that letter. But you’d just started getting your life back together after all the surgeries. You were finally starting college and talking about dating again, and I didn’t want him to ruin that. So, I kept it from you.”
“Ridge tried to contact me, and you didn’t say anything?” The quiet words hovered in the air between us as I digested Livvy’s words.
“I thought I was protecting you.”
“Who said I needed protecting?” My voice came out hoarse as I stepped away from Livvy. I needed air and space.
“Mal, wait—”
But I didn’t hear the rest of what she had to say.
I didn’t remember leaving the house, let alone climbing into my car and, yet, somehow I made it to the park down the street from Livvy’s parents’ house. I turned off my car but didn’t climb out, not wanting to be interrupted by the family with kids playing on the nearby playground.
Before I could question myself further, I picked up the letter from where I’d tossed it on the passenger seat and began to read.
Dear Mallory,
Hopefully you’ll read this letter and not just throw it away, though after everything that happened on prom night, I don’t deserve it.
I’ve been working construction in Florida for the last several years. I love the beach and the friends I’ve made, though I could do without the humidity. I’m finding my way, away from my dad and all his expectations. Funny how much he used to harp on me, given everything that happened.
But that’s not why I’m writing. I have something to tell you, and for some reason, a letter felt like a better option than email and I don’t have your number any more. I think it’s because email is instant. If I don’t get a response through email, I know you’ve gotten it and that you’re ignoring me. But with a letter, there’s always a chance it will get lost, that the post office will make a mistake, which I think will make your potential silence more bearable.
Mal, I like you, maybe even love you. I have for a long time. Probably since the first time I saw you plunge off the Rock into Provo River without hesitation. But after the accident, knowing I was responsible, and then dealing with my dad afterwards, I panicked. How could you ever forgive me? Especially when I couldn’t forgive myself. Now, I realize I should have stayed, but back then, I didn’t feel like I could handle your rejection. It’s crazy what time and space can do for a person.
I’m visiting home in a month, and I wanted to ask you a question. Will you go on a date with me when I get back? I want to apologize, to make things right, and I think this is the first step.
I hope I hear back from you, but if not, I understand. (Sorry I’m sending this by way of Livvy. I don’t have your address and figured she would get it to you.)
Sincerely,
Ridge Matthews
My breath caught as my thoughts swam with this new information. While I always chose to end my walks down memory lane with the kiss, there was more, so much more. As we’d left the park, another car had run a stop sign, hitting Ridge’s car on the passenger side. Ridge had received only minor cuts and scrapes. I hadn’t been as lucky, as the scar on my right arm reminded me. Weeks later, when I’d finally recovered enough to get my head on straight and start to venture back into real life, Ridge had already left. Dropped out of school and run away to Florida. He’d changed his phone number and pushed me out of his life completely.
Tears stung the corners of my eyes, but I pushed them back, refusing to cry about that night again. It had taken me years to completely let go of Ridge. I’d dated other guys and done my best to forget about prom, my first kiss, and the accident, but some memories never fade. That night was imprinted on my mind, always followed by the same questions: Why? Why had he kissed me? Why had he rejected me? Why had he left? Why couldn’t I let him go? In some ways it haunted me even more than catching Matt cheating on me.
Now that I’d found this letter, a new set of questions rang through my mind. What did this mean? Why hadn’t he reached out one of the countless other times he’d surely visited Utah? Would I have wanted him to?
I don’t know how long I sat there, lost in the past, processing the letter from Ridge. Eventually, the heat began to register as sweat ran down my back, and I started my car. It was time to go back to Livvy’s. I needed answers.
Turning onto the street, I stopped at a stop sign, checking before pulling out. I started to move forward but slammed on my brakes at the sight of a car barreling out of a nearby neighborhood. My car stayed still for only a moment before it unexpectedly shuddered and rocked. I’d been rear-ended.
CHAPTERFIVE
