Page 16 of Love Letter Lost
I never thought I’d write those words the first time, let alone a second time, and, yet, here we are. Me, an emotional mess, and you, completely oblivious to the turmoil your little slip of paper has caused.
I realized something today. I still haven’t forgiven you. I claim to have moved on, to have let go of the past, but it’s a lie. You hurt me that night, and I have hated you every day since.
What happens when I let go of that hate? What happens when I no longer have anger to hold onto?
I don’t know the answer, but I am terrified to find out.
Mal
CHAPTERELEVEN
I liftedthe pen from the page and stared at the words for a moment, wondering at what point journaling went from a socially acceptable coping mechanism and crossed into the realm of crazy. The doorbell ringing pulled me from my thoughts, and I put the notebook away, curious which of Chloe’s friends had decided to stop by. Most likely it would be Derek, trying to convince us to host a game night or join him for a movie marathon.
“Mal, Livvy’s here,” Chloe called through the door.
Confused, I hurried out into the living room, banging my elbow on my doorframe in my rush.
Sure enough, Livvy sat cross-legged on my loveseat wearing a long blue maxi dress, her legs tucked up under the skirt.
“What are you doing here?” I rubbed my arm, hoping to help the tingling sensation fade a bit faster.
“To help you save my wedding, of course! I may not have time to shop for and make everything, but I want to make sure you have everything you need to hit the ground running tomorrow.”
It was only then that I noticed Livvy’s laptop sitting on the coffee table. I settled next to her so that I could see the screen, my stomach clenching at the number of tabs that greeted me.
“You definitely came prepared. I’m just going to…” I hurried into the kitchen and grabbed my second slushy Dr. Pepper of the day before settling back onto the couch. We had a lot of work to do.
Livvy and I spent the rest of the afternoon looking over pictures and discussing her wedding plans. Aunt Jenna had succeeded in scheduling a nearby church building for the reception, and she’d found tablecloths to rent. Now we just needed to find bridesmaids’ dresses, make the floral arrangements, and create centerpieces. My head pounded as I tried to nail down all the details, but by the time Livvy closed her laptop, I felt decently confident of my ability to at least purchase the supplies needed for her dream reception. I was going to need some help on the assembly part, but that was a problem for a different day.
“Thanks so much for saving the day,” Livvy said as she hugged me in the doorway on her way out. I was careful to block Ruby from the potential escape route. “I don’t know how you’re going to get everything done without a car.” Livvy’s face scrunched in concern as she pulled away.
“I’ll figure something out,” I promised, trying to lessen the worry I could see in her eyes. Maybe I could recruit my roommates. Chloe was taking summer classes, and Audrey worked full time, but maybe we could find a solution that would keep me mobile. “Worst case scenario, you can have someone pick up an online order for me and drop it off here or something.”
Livvy took a deep breath and forced a smile. “You’re right. It’ll be fine.” She gave a slight shake of her head, her words doing little to disguise the panic I could sense coming off of her in waves. “It has to be.”
“That’s the spirit. Just remember that memories rarely come from moments when everything went according to plan. And your wedding is going to be unforgettable!”
Livvy’s breathing evened out as she nodded at my words.
“And we get to spend Tuesday shopping together, so that’ll be fun.” I referenced our upcoming shopping trip for bridesmaids’ dresses, trying to find a bright spot in the mess surrounding us.
Livvy just smiled and waved before heading down the stairs. I hoped all my promises and reassurances weren’t lies.
I closed my front door and leaned against it, still reeling at everything I had to do in the coming week.
“What am I going to do?” I asked Ruby, who simply blinked at me before walking away when she realized I would not be letting her outside. “I have no idea how I’m going to get everything done.”
“You’re going to worry about the wedding tomorrow and spend the rest of today eating treats and watching movies with us,” Audrey said as she stepped from her bedroom. “I’ve been doing homework all afternoon and need a break.”
“Same!” Chloe said, poking her head out into the hall. “I don’t care what we watch as long as it—”
“Has a happy ending.” I finished for her, familiar with Chloe’s one requirement for any movie we watched. “I think we can swing that, just as long as all wedding talk is outlawed for the rest of the night.”
CHAPTERTWELVE
The next morning,I woke to someone knocking on my front door. Rolling over, I glanced at the clock. It was 7:00 in the morning. Not an obscene hour, but still too early after staying up past 2:00 watching one romantic comedy after another. With images of Tom Hanks, Ryan Reynolds, and Matthew McConaughey still playing through my mind, I shrugged on a sweatshirt and stumbled to the door. Chloe and Audrey met me in the hallway looking equally confused.
I reached the door and glanced through the peephole, my stomach dropping at who waited on the other side. Ridge stood outside, the ready smile absent from his face as he squinted at the door, almost as if he could see me watching him. I took a breath and pulled the door open, careful to block the opening so Ruby couldn’t escape.
