Page 58 of Love Letter Lost
“No. He’s got a soon-to-be fiancée. It would just complicate things.”
Jefferson reached over and squeezed my hand, a gesture of comfort more than anything else. “For what it’s worth, sometimes our biggest regrets are the things we don’t say as opposed to the things we do.”
“It sounds like you know from experience.”
Jefferson shrugged and let go of my hand. “You could say that.”
I nodded, not feeling like I could push for more details. “I’ll take that into consideration.”
“I’m headed out. It was nice meeting you, Mallory. If you choose not to speak up or things don’t work out with Ridge, give me a call. I think we could be good friends.”
I gave Jefferson a hug and waved as he walked away. I’d just given up a perfectly good, available guy for an unavailable high school daydream. My mother was going to kill me.
CHAPTERTWENTY-NINE
Decidingthat if Jefferson was finished with the dinner, I could be too, I started the long walk to my car at the back of the parking lot. I could use a moment to breathe before the bachelorette party began.
“Mallory!” Mother’s voice behind me forced me to stop a few feet from my car. “I can’t believe you’re leaving already. And where’s Jefferson? Don’t tell me you abandoned him back there.”
“Jefferson just left, Mother.”
“Why did you let him go? The dinner’s still going strong. Did you at least get his number? If this is how you behave after I’ve provided you with a date, no wonder you’re still single. And there’s the perfect house for sale just down the street from your father and me.” She stopped to stand beside me, grabbing my arm before dropping it like she’d been scalded. She’d grabbed my scarred arm, her fingers brushing against the bumps and ridges that she did her best to pretend didn’t exist.
“Can we not do this right now?” I asked, exhaustion filling my voice as I pinched the bridge of my nose. I could feel the pressure building behind my eyes, an indication of an oncoming mother-induced headache if I didn’t get a Dr. Pepper soon, preferably of the slushy variety.
“You’re not getting out of this that easy, young lady.” With her hands on her hips, Mother could have passed for an 80s professional despite her deflating hair. It had gone from a towering mass of blond to a lopsided lump.
“Are you talking about the date I didn’t agree to and wanted nothing to do with?” I shot back.
“His name is Jefferson and—”
“And what? We ‘have a lot in common’ so he and I will make a ‘perfect’ fit? He’ll rescue me from my life of singleness and give me a life of wedded bliss safely ensconced a few houses away from you?” My voice rose with each word. I glanced around, grateful to find we didn’t have an audience. I’d never been so grateful to park far from the entrance of a restaurant before in my life.
“It’s a possibility,” Mother huffed.
“You don’t get it. Did you actually talk to him? Ask him any questions and allow him to answer? I bet I know more about Jefferson from our first two minutes of conversation than you do, and you set me up with him.”
“Then you’re off to a great start.”
“A great start for friendship, yes, but that’s it. Though if we talk again, it can be about how we’re both single with meddling family members who won’t butt out of our lives.” I let the words fly, reveling in the feeling of release. I couldn’t fix things with Ridge, but I could certainly face my mother. “You think I’m some miserable, lonely, sad excuse for a person living an incomplete life in a rundown apartment. Ever since the accident, you’ve wanted to shelter me and protect me. You’ve wanted to shield me, something that you can’t do, even if I marry the man you choose and move in next door. Life still happens. Accidents occur. People get hurt. You can’t protect me from everything, Mom. No matter how much you may want to!” I folded my arms across my chest, hiding the scar she hated so much.
I had finally found the words to silence my mother. She stood motionless, mouth agape. I pretended that the sheen in her eyes wasn’t tears and turned towards my car.
“Maybe if you took a minute to hear what I actually want in life and stopped trying to make my world picture-perfect, you’d know that I’m happy. That I love my life and don’t need your protection.”
I finished the trek to my car and climbed in, dashing the tears from my eyes as I backed out of my spot and drove away.
I drove to the nearest drink shop and ordered a Dr. Pepper filled with raspberry and cream. I focused on the burn of soda with each swallow as I drove down random neighborhood streets, careful to avoid a certain park with its swings and memories of first kisses, trying to cool off before the party. If I could have backed out and gone home, I would have, but I knew Livvy was depending on me to make the night special.
The street in front of Aunt Jenna’s house was full of cars by the time I arrived for Livvy’s bachelorette party. Grabbing my purse and pajamas, I climbed the porch steps and rang the bell. I’d spent so many nights in this house that it felt surreal being back for one more party.
“Come in,” Aunt Jenna greeted as she opened the door. “The girls are all downstairs. I think I heard something about facials.”
Laughter filtered up the stairs, and I headed towards the sound, pasting a smile on my face and hoping that a night with the girls would erase my personal drama.
“Mallory!” Livvy called as soon as I entered the basement. “Where have you been? I was worried you’d miss all the fun.”
“I just had an errand to run.” I didn’t want to talk about the struggle with my mother right now, so instead I held up my Styrofoam cup as proof.
