Page 64 of Losing Sleep
He stepped into my cubicle, crowding me.
“That’s not the point. The number of calls…” I tuned Drew out as he shared his woes from the weekend, moments when he’d had to actually do his job because I hadn’t been there to cover for him. Instead, I remembered all my daydreams of a career as a yoga instructor, setting my own schedule, doing work I actually loved.
That’s when it hit me. I didn’t have to take this. I didn’t have to sit in this cubicle a minute longer. I had tried root beer milk, shared a bed with a near stranger, and jumped off a rock into the Firehole. I could stand up to my boss.
“Because of you—”
I pushed to my feet, refusing to cower as Drew no doubt had expected. Instead, I jabbed a finger in his chest and stepped closer, forcing him back and out of my workspace.
“Because I took my first real vacation inyears,you had to actually do your job. Is that what you were about to say? Or were you going to mention how because I tookpaid time offthat you approved, you came to realize just how much the team depends on me to pullmorethan my fair share of weight? Also, need I remind you, I came back early. I wasn’t supposed to be here today. Technically, I could still be gone, with your sign-off.”
Drew gaped at me, his skin paling at the confrontation, but I refused to back down. I was done. I just wished it hadn’t taken several years and a long overdue vacation to help me see that my time here was finished.
I slipped on my shoes, threw open my drawer and snagged my purse, slinging it over my shoulder as I glanced around the impersonal cubicle. I didn’t even have a photo of Ruby because Drew had claimed such decorations were unprofessional.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Drew stuttered as I pushed my way past him towards the door.
“I’m leaving.” I bit my tongue to keep from tacking on an “obviously” at the end.
“What do you mean you’re leaving?” Drew was chasing after me now, my heels making a satisfying click with every step towards escape.
“I quit, effective immediately.”
“That’s not how—”
I turned on my heel and Drew froze just short of running into me. “Don’t start with me. Two weeks is a courtesy you don’t deserve. I’ve put up with hell working for you, and I’m done.”
I could see other coworkers peeking around cubicle walls, watching the exchange. At my last pronouncement, I thought Ieven heard several gasps of surprise and someone attempting to start a slow clap.
“What about your career, Audrey? Do you think you’ll be able to put this place down as a reference after pulling this stunt?” he said, clearly flustered.
“You know, Drew, for the first time in my life, I genuinely don’t care.” Images of me helping Grey and leading the group in a yoga routine filled my mind, and a small smile touched my lips. “I’m going to find a job that I’m actually excited about.”
I exited the floor, letting the door close behind me, blocking Drew’s protests.
The walk to my car and the drive home were a blur. My phone hadn’t stopped vibrating since I’d left the building as different coworkers attempted to contact me. I ignored them all as I walked into my apartment to find Mallory in sweats and a t-shirt, her blonde hair in a high ponytail, sitting on the couch reading, Ruby curled up at her feet.
“Did you forget something?” Mal asked as she set her book on the recently refurbished coffee table. A fresh coat of white paint now covered the scratches and dents I’d grown used to while living here.
“My sanity,” I joked, settling on the loveseat so I could watch Mal’s reaction to my news. Ruby took this as her invitation and came over to sit next to me. I buried my fingers in her fur, letting the texture soothe me as I said four words I’d wanted to say for years. “I quit my job.”
Mallory’s mouth opened and closed a few times before a smile stole across her lips. “It’s about time. I was starting to worry you’d never leave that place.”
Now it was my turn for shock. “What do you mean? You never said anything about this before.”
Mallory shrugged. “What was I supposed to say? ‘Audrey, I think you should quit your job. They don’t appreciate you and are slowly destroying your soul.’ It wasn’t my place.”
“Chloe’s going to freak out,” I said, pushing down the panic that was trying to claw its way up my throat. “I don’t have a job.” It was the first time since I was a teenager that I could say that sentence. The words tasted odd on my tongue, bringing with them a sense of excitement and panic. I planted my elbows on my knees and buried my face in my hands. “What am I going to do, Mal? How am I going to pay rent? What about insurance?”
Mallory moved to settle next to me on the loveseat, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and giving me a squeeze. “You’re going to do whatever you want. You’re going to find a job you’ll actually love and want to go to every day. A job that lets you go on vacation without making you feel guilty the entire time. A job that lights up your soul and makes you feel appreciated.”
I took a deep breath, counting to four as I inhaled and then exhaling for four counts, letting Mallory’s words wash over me. “You know, Tory thinks I should teach yoga.” I paused, waiting for Mallory’s reaction, waiting for her to tell me it was as crazy an idea as I feared it was. Not acknowledging that the idea hadn’t originated with Tory. I wasn’t quite ready for that level of vulnerability.
When she didn’t speak, I sat up, turning to face her.
She bit her lip.
“What, no response?”
