Page 4 of Losing Sleep
ANGELA:But you’re still responding.
I hesitated, biting my lip, before typing my response. I pondered the ramifications of what I wanted to say. While I knew my job was secure and that I was entitled to time off, it was hard to turn off the work part of my brain. I was going on vacation, however begrudgingly. If I answered Angela’s questions now, it wouldn’t be long before the rest of the team would be messaging me. Taking a deep breath, I typed:
ME:Not anymore. I’m off the clock starting now. Talk to Drew.
I hit send and then went into the messaging app settings, silencing my notifications. They still had my phone number if it was a real emergency. I dropped my phone into the backpack at my feet and shifted to stare out the window, clasping my hands together in my lap to resist the urge to pick up my phone and turn my notifications back on.
“I can only imagine what that was like.” Grey’s words pulled me from my thoughts, and it took me a moment to remember our conversation thread: taking Tory to a concert.
“Let’s just say Tory does better in quiet, open spaces like the mountains. She always thought it was funny that I liked such loud music since I’m such a quiet person,” I said, allowing Grey’s comments to distract me from my nerves about being away from work.
“It’s the quiet ones who have the most to hide. I’m too loud for anyone to say that about me.”
“Or quiet people are more observant and know everyone’s secrets.” I quirked an eyebrow and forced humor into my voice, pushing away thoughts of work and doing my best to keep the conversation going.
Grey pursed his lips, thinking for a moment as he tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. “Makes sense. What secrets are you hiding?”
I shook my head. “They wouldn’t be secrets if I told you.”
“Fair enough,” Grey shrugged. “Is one of them the reason why you’re already shoeless in my car?”
At that, I did laugh, surprised to find my anxiety dissipating with each mile we drove closer to the cabin. Maybe I really did need a break. “That’s no secret. I hate shoes, and the less I have to wear them, the better.”
There was a reason yoga was my go-to form of stress release. It involved exercise and didn’t require shoes, even if the music lacked a decent beat.
“I bet you kick them off under your desk at work, don’t you?” Grey’s question felt like more of a statement, and I was amazed at how quickly he could read me.
I wiggled my toes, taking in the rough texture of his floor mats. “Guilty as charged. I spend all day sitting at my desk. Why should I torture myself further by wearing shoes?”
We drove for a moment in silence, the familiar businesses and billboards of Utah County slipping past my window as we got closer to the Point of the Mountain. I quickly calculated when we’d arrive at the cabin and breathed a sigh of relief. If we drove straight through and made minimal stops, we’d get there around 5:00, just in time to celebrate the last few hours of Tory’s birthday and well before dark settled in, with its increased risk of hitting wildlife on the road.
As if sensing my plans, Grey spoke, “Do you mind if we stop for lunch? I was going to grab something before picking you up but didn’t want to be even later.”
“I ate before you came, but I guess we can stop. I wouldn’t mind a Pepsi.” I tried not to think about the added time in the car, but hoped a stop now would mean fewer stops later.
“Perfect! I know just the place.” Grey didn’t hesitate before flicking on his blinker and taking the next exit.
Chapter Three
When Grey had saidhe knew the “perfect place,” I’d assumed he meant a fast-food joint with a drive thru so we could get back on the road quickly. Instead, he drove to a burger place that, while delicious, was notorious for its slow service.
“I’ve been craving cheesy fries and a shake all week. Don’t tell my gym buddies.” He said as he climbed out of the car, pausing before closing his door. “Just kidding! I don’t have gym buddies. It’s difficult to find guys with the skills needed to maintain this type of physique.” He patted his stomach, which was average in shape and size, far from the six pack of the gym rats I knew.
I forced a smile, slipped on my shoes, and followed him into the restaurant, shivering at the blast of AC that greeted us along with the friendly worker at the counter. I placed an order for a drink, my stomach full of lunch and the nervous knots I’d been battling all day. I tried to let go of my mental travel timeline.There was still plenty of time to reach the cabin before dark, and this way I’d have even more caffeine to help me through.
We placed our order and settled into a booth near the door, drinks in hand. The red vinyl stuck to my legs as I slid across the bench. Hits from the early 2000s played on the speakers, and memorabilia from local high school sports teams dotted the walls.
“I know you’ve been friends with Tory forever, but that’s all I’ve got. What’s your story, Audrey?” Grey asked as he settled across from me, his expression open and interested.
I bit my lip, trying to ignore the unsettled feeling that always came with one-on-one attention from someone I didn’t know well. It was an instinct I’d developed as a child. If I didn’t let people close, I didn’t need to be disappointed when I had to move again or when the friendship didn’t last.
“I have a degree in business and have worked at the same company for a few years. I’m on the customer service team, though I keep getting promised a leadership position if I can hang on a little longer. You?” I rushed to tack on the last word, cringing at how awkward I must sound and wishing, not for the first time, I had someone to help me navigate social situations.
While Chloe and Mallory frequently reassured me that I didn’t come across as awkward, it didn’t stop me from second-guessing everything I said when getting to know someone new. My mom was skilled at making literally anyone feel at ease when talking to her and I had not inherited her ability. It was part of why I’d dated Lyle. He could take the attention, navigate the social situations, while I hung back in my quiet comfort zone.
“That all sounds very professional and frustrating. I’m not nearly that put together. I work for a construction company, though we’ll see how long I stay.” He flashed me a grin before launching into the story of how he got his job.
I nodded and hummed at the appropriate moments, sipping my Pepsi, the carbonation burning as it slid down my throat. My mind scrambled to come up with comments and questions, anything to add to the conversation in front of me. But everything I thought of felt forced.
