Page 28 of Losing Sleep
I rolled out of bed and slipped into leggings and a tank top, piling my hair into a messy bun. The internet at the cabin was spotty, just enough to get the constant barrage of work messages but not steady enough to stream a yoga video. However, I felt confident enough in my yoga abilities to at least throw together a simple flow to start my day, though I’d avoid any headstands just to be safe. Not to mention if I didn’t do a full yoga flow soon, I was going to lose my mind. I had way too many questionscircling through my head, most of them to do with a certain bearded man who made an excellent sleeping companion.
Wishing I hadn’t left my yoga mat in Grey’s car, I sat cross-legged on the living room floor and took a few deep breaths. I was grateful for the open, airy space of the living room. Even with two couches and a recliner, it had enough room for me to spread out and stretch.
I let myself get lost in a simple vinyasa, moving through the various poses to work the kinks of travel and sleeping on the couch out of my muscles, my body stretching and flexing with each movement. Doing yoga was one of the few moments when I felt fully at peace, letting go of self-consciousness and doubt. In a perfect world, I would be a yoga instructor, embracing this peace and confidence full-time.
The carpet scratched my skin as I spread out in savasana, lying flat on my back with my arms down at my sides. The sun streaming through the windows warmed my skin. I concentrated on the support of the floor beneath me as I finished my practice, breathing deep and letting all my worries melt away.
“Are you dead?”
I jerked up, startled to find I wasn’t alone. Grey sat on the loveseat behind me in a red flannel shirt, his hair tousled.
“What…? When…?” I stammered, my heart pounding in my chest. Any peace I’d found from my practice fled with the surprise.
“I couldn’t sleep, and thought I’d watch for wildlife while I waited for everyone to wake up.” Grey settled back into the couch, his face filled with mischief.
“How did that turn into watching me do yoga?” I stood and walked to the couch, settling onto the opposite end from Grey, moving closer but not too close. My cheeks flamed as I thought about what he might have seen.
“You were already done when I got here. At least, I’m assuming you lying flat on the floor with your eyes closed means you were done. I honestly thought you’d fallen asleep.” He shrugged, and I breathed a sigh of relief that he hadn’t been up earlier to watch me with my butt in the air doing downward dog.
“I guess I won’t call you a complete creeper, then,” I said, shaking my head and pretending I wasn’t sans makeup in full daylight. Maybe if I pretended comfort in my casual attire, I’d actually feel it. It was worth testing. After all, who cared if I was wearing makeup this early when vacationing in the mountains?
“Just a partial creeper?”
“You did sneak up on me while I was doing yoga and scared the living daylights out of me.” I snagged the blanket off the back of the couch and draped it over my legs, cold now that I was sitting still. Grey had the right idea with his flannel. Idaho summers still carried a chill in the mornings and evenings.
“Next time I’m trying not to wake the whole cabin, I’ll make sure to stomp up the stairs and slam a few doors so as not to startle anyone.” He rolled his eyes as he spoke, humor filling his tone.
“Seems reasonable to me. You could probably throw in some bear growls for good measure. Make people think a grizzly broke into the cabin,” I said, deciding to play along. I peeked up at him through my lashes as I toyed with the ends of my blanket.
“Bear growls? I could make that work. I’ve got the hair to help me get into character.” He stroked his beard as if seriously considering playing the role of a grizzly bear wandering a mountain cabin.
“I’ve heard that’s really the reason men grow beards, to get in touch with their animal side,” I said, doing my best to ignore how said beard added definition to his jaw and made his smile pop.
“Are you saying my animal persona is hairy, eats all the time, and spends several months of the year sleeping? If so, I’m not mad about that at all.” He nodded with mock seriousness, though his lips still twitched with humor.
“When you put it that way, I think I might declare my animal persona to be a bear too. Though if the majority of my diet has to be fish, I’m out.”
We drifted into silence, my brain scrambling to come up with something else to talk about. Instead, my mind went blank as I stared at the blanket in my lap, searching the quilt for answers it refused to provide. The only topics I could think of were ones I wanted to avoid, like asking if he’d been as comfortable watching the movie as I had been or if he found me attractive with my hair a mess.
Mumbling something about needing to get ready, I slipped out of the room and into my bedroom, wanting to escape the awkward conversation I could feel waiting in the wings. Something about the way he looked at me, taking me in without styled hair or makeup, left me feeling vulnerable. Not to mention the two unintentional cuddle sessions we’d engaged in since this trip started. I might be a coward, but there were some things better left unsaid, especially when Grey’s gaze warmed me in ways I didn’t want to think about.
I needed someone to talk to, but Tory was sound asleep. I wished Chloe and Mallory were here so I could hash out my emotions with my roommates. Unfortunately, they were hours away in Utah, and I doubted I could fully encapsulate my emotions in a text. Not to mention it felt too early for a phone call.
I pulled on some leggings and one of my favorite t-shirts, a blue shirt that read “Real girls like the classics” with an image of a rock-on hand signal. A college friend had designed it for me asa birthday gift, and I wore it every chance I got, despite repeated protests from Lyle that it was ratty and outdated.
Once I was dressed, I pulled my hair into a new bun and added some subtle eyeshadow and mascara. I grabbed a book and a hoody, slipping past Grey where he dozed on the couch wrapped in the quilt I’d left behind. I settled outside on a wooden porch chair, enjoying the quiet morning. The only sounds that greeted me were the conversations of birds and squirrels. The stillness spoke to my soul, the cool air surrounding me like a familiar blanket as I breathed in the mountain air heavy with dew. I’d forgotten the peace and stillness of the mountains first thing in the morning. Maybe tomorrow I would move my yoga practice outside, really soak in the moment.
I sat and read for about an hour before the sounds of creaking floorboards and closing doors alerted me to movement in the cabin. I pushed up from the rocking chair and headed inside, noticing that Grey no longer dozed on the couch, though he’d left the blanket behind. I wondered if it would smell like him or if it would need more contact with his skin first.
Tory stood in the kitchen wearing a deep blue lounge set, the fridge door open, as she rummaged around.
“Need any help?” I asked, and she jumped before straightening and turning to look at me.
“I thought everyone was asleep. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised you’re the first one awake. You never could sleep in. Though the late-night party animal is a new side,” she said with a wink. “What did you think of the movie?” Tory asked, amusement coloring her tone. She pulled a carton of eggs and a jug of milk from the fridge and set them on the counter before closing the door.
“It was fascinating,” I said, not missing a beat. I didn’t bother mentioning that Grey was awake too. For all I knew, he had gone back to bed after creeping on my yoga practice and snuggling inmy blanket. “Even after a late night, mornings are the best time to get things done.”
“This is way too early for me. I think Trent picked the longest superhero movie on the planet. I’m not completely sure what happened beyond things blowing up, though don’t think I didn’t notice the snuggle session going on between you and Grey.” Tory waggled her eyebrows, her lips tilted in a teasing grin.
