Page 49 of Losing Sleep
Resting fully on my tube, I watched the scenery drift by, my legs and back growing accustomed to the cold water while the sun warmed my face. The river was lined with trees, an occasional cabin breaking up the forest. The sounds of people talking, birds chirping, and the river’s gentle gurgle filled the air. Up ahead, I could see purple mountains. The river flowed gently, and while there were a handful of families who’d had the same idea, it wasn’t nearly as crowded as I’d anticipated. I let the peace sink into my bones, attempting to close my eyes and doze.
The sound of splashing drew my attention, and I found Grey making his way over to me, his hands acting as paddles. Kylietrailed a few feet behind, her shorter arms making it harder to follow.
“What do you think?” he asked, snagging one of my handles and linking our tubes together.
“It’s beautiful. If I lived here, I’d be tempted to float the river every day.” Contentment filled my voice as I pictured living in Island Park. The summers would be glorious, though I wasn’t sure I could handle the winters.
“Not me,” Kylie said.
She’d given up on rowing to catch up with Grey, instead walking over to us, splashing water our direction with every step. The water hit around her knees, and when she reached us, she managed to climb into her tube without any extra help from Grey. She grabbed onto Grey’s tube, making us a chain of three. She was determined, I’d give her that much. Even if the competitive nature Tory had mentioned meant Kylie couldn’t accept Grey’s clear disinterest.
“I hate getting my hair wet,” Kylie said, taking control of the conversation. “I feel naked without my makeup, but it’s much better than getting racoon eyes. Am I right?”
I nodded, not sure what to say in response. I thought I’d feel the same way, but I hated the thought of missing out on something so soothing because of the risk of racoon eyes.
“Racoon eyes are the worst. It takes hours to get my eyeliner just right, and this beard doesn’t paint itself on,” Grey said, causing a surprised giggle to burst from my lips. I could just picture Grey in front of a mirror, painstakingly painting on the beard that had occupied far too many of my thoughts this trip.
“You’re such a joker, Grey! That beard is all you, and it is all man,” Kylie said.
I bit down a gag, cringing at the terrible line. If Grey wasn’t holding onto my tube, I would have done everything in my power to escape this interaction. I eyed his hold on my tube andwatched his fingers tighten, as if he could sense my desire for escape.
I scrambled for something to say, desperate to rediscover the calm of only moments before.
“Kylie,” I paused, still unsure what to ask. The words slowly spilled out of my mouth, hesitation evident in every syllable. “I feel like I barely know you. Remind me, how do you know Tory?” Maybe if I could steer the conversation away from anything remotely flirty, I would survive this river float.
“That’s actually a great story. Tory and I met at summer camp when we were kids and stayed in touch. When she moved to her new apartment, she knew I was looking for a place to live and invited me to be her roommate. I’m lucky she thought to ask me. We spend so much time together, and she’s introduced me to so many great friends…like Grey.” She looked over at Grey with a wide smile, while Grey refused to make eye contact, staring determinedly at the reeds lining the riverbank. “What about you, Audrey? How do you know Tory? I don’t think I’ve ever heard the story.”
At least her question was easy to answer.
“We were college roommates and have been friends ever since.” It wasn’t the full story, but was the simplest way to explain our connection. It was hard to sum up the chaos that had been our college apartment, how Tory and I had banded together to help each other survive the difficult dynamics that had existed between our other roommates. Emily had been a part of that effort too, acting as a sounding board when our roommates got to be too much. It still stung to think about her betrayal and how I would never be able to turn to her for advice or help again. As ridiculous as it sounded, a small part of me wanted to talk to her about Grey, get her thoughts about this man who was slowly infiltrating my heart. Yet, she and I haddiscussed my feelings for Lyle on many occasions, feelings she had disregarded.
“That’s so sweet. Aren’t college friends the best?” The way she said “college friends” implied a certain level of childishness to our friendship that I chose to ignore.
I struggled to think of another question to ask when the river intervened. We’d drifted too close to the side, and I found myself headed for a patch of reeds.
“Oh no!” Kylie shrieked, kicking away from the plants.
“Hang on.” Grey began kicking too, but even with the three of us working against it, the current continued pulling us closer until my rump got stuck on some rocks.
“Let go of my tube,” I said, already pushing to stand up. “I’ll walk back towards the center of the river and catch up with you guys.”
“Are you sure?” Grey asked, leaning forward to stand as well. I couldn’t tell if it was out of concern for me or because he didn’t want to be left alone with Kylie.
I wasn’t sure. I hated the thought of Kylie getting alone time with Grey, but I also recognized I wouldn’t be able to escape the reeds without standing. Additionally, I didn’t want to make them have to stand too, reforming our chain, with all its third wheel awkwardness.
“Of course. You guys go ahead,” I said through a tight smile, wishing there was a way to send Kylie ahead and get Grey to myself. Before I could second-guess my decision, I shooed them away before marching back to the center of the river with my tube, the river coming up to my calves, the current making my steps feel unsteady. It took a couple of awkward hops, but I was able to climb back on my tube and resume drifting with the current.
Up ahead, Grey and Kylie continued on their way. Kylie grasping Grey’s tube with one hand while the other waved animatedly in the air with whatever story she was telling.
“Are you sure that was a wise idea?” Tory called, floating up next to me and grabbing one of my tube handles. I looked around but didn’t see Trent. Maybe they hadn’t worked everything out after all.
“Grey’s a big boy. He can handle himself. Not to mention I don’t have a claim on him.” I tried for nonchalance, but I could feel the anxiety just under the surface. If I didn’t care for Grey, it would make things easier, safer. If I didn’t risk my heart, I couldn’t get hurt. Though I had a sinking suspicion it was too late for that. “Where’s Trent?”
Tory shrugged. “We got stuck on a bank a little while ago and had to let go. He floated ahead.”
I really hadn’t been paying attention to my surroundings if Trent had floated past and I hadn’t noticed.
“You didn’t want to stay with him?”
