Page 40 of Chasing Forever
The ride slows. Stop by stop, we lower until I’m finally back on solid ground. My feet barely hit the pavement before Wren comes bounding toward me.
“Did you see the sunset?”
I ruffle her hair. “I did. So beautiful.”
“Brooks said that it’s because of the light and the atmosphere, right?” She looks at him with wide eyes as if he invented science.
“Something like that,” he says with a deep chuckle.
“Giving her science lessons?”
He shrugs, and there’s a tiny flicker of embarrassment in his expression, as though maybe it really matters to him—like maybe he looked it up once just because he was curious.
“It just interests me,” he says softly, as if he’s confessing a secret.
“Always?”
“Ah…” His voice tapers off, his shyness lingering.
I lean in as if he’s offering me a secret. Just like that, I want to know more.
“Come on, there’s no line at the Tilt-A-Whirl!” Wren grabs our hands and tugs us forward.
I hand over the tickets to the guy running the ride and immediately notice the full body scan he gives me, not even trying to hide it.
Gross. A shiver creeps down my spine.
Wren’s already on the ride, but Brooks pauses, wrapping his arm around the small of my back, leading me over to her. He even looks over his shoulder. The way his strong hand hovers over my hip, his fingertips barely touching, makes me feel as if he’s claiming me in front of that creep checking me out. And I hate how much I like it. Hate that it makes me feel safe and secure.
We cram into the arched cab, Wren in the middle. She takes my hand, then Brooks’s, and stacks them together with hers on top. “I’m having so much fun.” She beams.
Her joy is magnetic.
I look at my brilliant, brave, and resilient niece who doesn’t even realize what an inspiration she is. She’s already faced so much in her seven years—mourning a mother she never got to know, pushing through questions no kid should have to ask. Still, she loves without fear of the outcome.
How? How does she still believe in love and joy when one of the most important people in her life vanished?
I envy it. I envy her.
Brooks’s smile is stupidly contagious. “Me too. Great plan, Lottie.”
I try to smile back, but it doesn’t fully land. The ride hasn’t even started, but the drop in my chest is already happening. Holden. The wreckage he left in me is still so mangled. I need to be brave like my niece to crawl my way out.
“Yeah, Aunt Lottie, thank you.” Wren throws herself against me, and I hug her close, squeezing my eyes shut and soaking her in.
When I open my eyes, Brooks is watching us.
Not smiling. Just… watching. As though he sees beneath my layers and knows what hides there.
The ride lurches to a start, and we’re thrown into chaos. Wren shrieks with laughter. Brooks leans his weight to get us spinning faster while I cling to the bar and pray I don’t hurl.
For a blissful hour, we jump from ride to ride. Brooks and Wren are a duo, and I trail behind. I wanted distance. I wanted control. Now I’m the third wheel to my own damn plan.
The ache in my chest intensifies because he’s so good with her.
Brooks tosses popcorn kernels at her and cheers when she finally catches one. “That’s what I’m talking about!” he says, giving her a high five.
The sight thuds against my ribs in a warning. He’ll be a great father one day.
