Page 39 of Chasing Forever
“Because sometimes,” I say, keeping my eyes on Wren, “you gotta face your fears to get what you really want.”
Wren wrinkles her nose, and Lottie climbs in with us.
“I wish Mack could come,” Wren mutters.
That’s a seven-year-old’s version of changing the subject, I guess.
“Then one of us wouldn’t be able to go on the rides because we’d have to stay with him,” I say.
Lottie puts the car in reverse. “Ready?”
“Yes!” Wren throws her hands in the air as if we’re about to go down the first hill on a rollercoaster.
Lottie glances at me. Our gazes lock, and I smile.
She rolls her eyes as she always does in my presence.
She thinks she’s sabotaging these dates.
She has no idea.
She could bring her whole family and I wouldn’t care.
As long as she’s next to me?
It’s a damn good night.
Chapter Seventeen
Lottie
When I came up with the brilliant idea to bring Wren along, I imagined skipping through the fairgrounds. The two of us holding hands, smiling while Brooks trailed behind us like our unpaid babysitter. He’d fetch us snacks and drinks. I’d dodge him all night and call it a win.
Instead, I’m the freaking third wheel.
Wren grabs Brooks’s hand while I’m buying the ride tickets. Of course she does. Because he’s steady. Because she trusts him. Because he’s… him. She’s begging him to take her on the Zipper while he tells her they need to “warm up to it.”
“Okay, we’re all set,” I say, holding up the ridiculous fistful of ride tickets as if I just won a game at an arcade and I’m about to turn them in for the top prize everyone wants.
“Let’s go!” Wren tugs on Brooks’s hand.
He shrugs at me with that lopsided grin. “What can I say? I’m a fun guy.” Then he turns his back to me and something inside me twists.
Which is stupid. Why would I be jealous? This was my plan. I was the one who brought a mini chaperone to sabotage this date.
I follow them through the fairgrounds like the forgotten child. Just slap a balloon in my hand and call it a night.
The fair is buzzing. String lights stretch over the walkways, casting a golden glow on everything below. The smell of fried dough, kettle corn, and junk food hangs thick in the air. A distant country song hums from the speakers, challenging the laughter and rise and fall of screams emanating from the rides.
It should feel magical. But tonight, it feels like background noise to the weird ache crawling under my skin.
We stop in front of the Ferris wheel. They hop in the first car together, and I wave them off as if I’ve mastered being content riding by myself.
I sit solo in the next car, the breeze cool as it rises higher, lifting me above the small town. The view is stunning—sunset dripping pink and purple across the open skies of Hickory. It steals my breath for a second, and I let my mind drift.
There was a time I couldn’t wait to leave this place. Now, I can’t imagine growing old anywhere but here. Watching my cousins and eventually my nieces and nephews grow up, fall in love, get married, have babies. This is my home. But back then? I would’ve scoffed at this fair and said I was meant for bigger things.
I think about that girl. The one who wanted out. The one who believed the world owed her something bigger and better than this place. I don’t miss her exactly, but I wonder when she stopped being me. Without Holden, would I have become who I am now?
