Page 14 of Chasing Forever
I lean against a pole, head buried in my phone, but I peek up every few seconds to seek her out. Lottie’s tucked into a seat across the terminal, nose in her phone, pretending not to notice me. God, even now, this whole damn city could fall apart around me, and she’d still be the only thing I search out.
“Bet you didn’t think you’d leave Vegas a married man,” Ben says, slapping me on the shoulder.
“Nope.”
He shoves his hands into his pockets. “I thought for sure I’d beat you to it.”
I chuckle. “Me too. But I’m pretty sure your marriage will last longer than mine.”
Ben’s gaze flicks over to Lottie as she glances up and catches us staring. Her face twists into a stop staring or I’ll cut off your balls expression.
God, I love her fire. I love her everything. I’m so fucking screwed.
“I shouldn’t have said what I did back at the restaurant,” Ben mutters. “I’m sorry.”
“Why are you apologizing to me?”
“Because she’s the woman you love.”
The word hits me square in the chest. Love.
“Love, huh?”
He quirks his eyebrow, and yeah, he’s right, but saying it aloud feels dangerous, as though I’m giving voice to a secret that could crush me. It’s going to be a balancing act. If I push too hard, I’ll lose her before I ever get the chance to win her.
“She’s your cousin,” I say instead, deflecting the conversation away from my feelings.
“Yeah, and I’m pissed at myself. I was an asshole for years, never coming home. I shouldn’t be saying that Lottie can’t find her way back when I managed to. It’s just… don’t take this the wrong way, but I fucking hate your brother and what he did to her.”
“Shit, man, I get it. I’m related to the asshole.” My chest feels tight. I’ve always felt more at home with Ben and his extended family than I did with my own.
I refrain from mentioning the fight I had with Holden that day or the way I barely tolerate him when he shows his face back home. I’ll never forgive him for stealing the light from the girl I love.
He stole her magic. He stole her belief in true love and soulmates. Most of all, he stole her trust—the idea that a man would stand beside her, shoulder the weight of her burdens with her so they weren’t so heavy for her to carry. I want her to have that back. Preferably with me.
“So what’s your plan?” Ben sips his drink and eyes me with an expression that says he knows I’m not going to just sign those annulment papers. He knows me too well.
“Other than flat-out refusing the annulment? I haven’t figured it out yet.”
“You’re really going to put your foot down? Not give her what she wants?”
I look at Lottie one more time—her legs crossed in the seat, talking to Romy and Sadie. Whatever she says makes them both laugh, which causes her own laughter. Her head falls back then forward, and that flicker of light she used to always have shines through for a moment. And it fucking slays me. Because I remember that laugh. I remember the girl who trusted the world to love her back. I want to be the man who gives her that world again.
“That’s my plan. I’m probably crazy to think it’s a sign—that even drunk, she married me—and that it has to mean something.”
Ben chuckles and slaps me on the shoulder again. “Why not just tell her how you feel?”
I shoot him a look. “Do you not know your cousin at all?”
He laughs.
“I can tell her my intentions until my last breath, but she’ll never believe me. To win Lottie, it’s gonna have to be slow. Show her who I am.” I search her out again, and she’s back on her phone. “Earn one small ounce of trust at a time until hopefully she believes that I’d do everything in my power not to let anyone hurt her. Most of all, me.”
Ben just smiles. He knows.
He had to do the same with Gillian when he returned to town after retiring from professional football. But he didn’t do what my brother did. He wasn’t cruel.
My brother promised Lottie the fairytale—only to tear it to pieces in front of everyone.
