Page 55 of Chasing Forever
“I know.” Her voice hitches, and I instantly grow antsy. For what he might’ve done to her. What if I wasn’t there, and he went after her like he used to go after Holden and me?
“Has he… did he?—”
She shakes her head. “No. I just never got a welcoming feeling from him or your mom. They didn’t ever seem to like me. Maybe they had dreams of who Holden would marry, and I wasn’t her.”
I swallow down my irritation with my parents. “I knew they didn’t make it easy on you, but they wouldn’t make it easy on anyone he brought home, believe me.”
We hit the edge of my small dock, where my fishing boat and kayak rest. Lottie sits at the edge, and I sit next to her. Mack rests along our backs like a lower back pillow.
“I’m sure they would love someone from his world now,” she says.
Holden never comes up in any conversation with anyone in town, but to my parents, he’s seen as the mortal enemy by everyone. He scorned Lottie, and being a part of the extended Noughton family tree and with Plain Daisy Ranch looked upon so highly in Willowbrook, he was cast as the villain. There are a few who believe she wasn’t enough for him, but the truth is that he wasn’t enough for her.
“They don’t even understand his world now.” The sun is setting, and the sky is lit up in sherbert shades of orange and yellow. “If you’d rather not talk about him?—”
She finishes her beer and sets it next to her on the deck. “I think I spend too much time trying not to talk about him. It doesn’t really affect me. I’m proud of myself that I’ve made so much progress. It’s hard to explain, but he was a major part of my life for a chunk of time, and everyone dodges his name like a bullet. Honestly, I’ve been over him for a long time.”
I swallow hard, because I’ve needed to hear that for so long—but part of me worried it wouldn’t be the case. That some piece of her was still attached to him.
“I just wish people would stop treating me like I’m about to break at the mention of his name.”
“Holden. Holden. Holden.”
She laughs and knocks her shoulder with mine.
“Look, you’re still in one piece.”
“That I am.” She smiles, and fuck, she’s so beautiful. How did I ever let Holden swoop in and take her like a hawk searching for prey?
Another bout of silence rolls over us.
She says my name.
I finish my beer and place it next to me. “Yeah?”
“You’re a really good man.”
I turn to her, and my chest loosens at her compliment. I needed to hear it after kicking my mom off my property.
“Don’t look so surprised, you know you are. You’re nothing like your family, and I want you to know that the reason I’m so hesitant has nothing to do with them. If anything, I feel bad for you.”
“Shit, Lottie, don’t feel bad for me.”
She turns to me, propping one leg up and leaving the other dangling off the dock. “I don’t want to play games, so I’m just going to tell you.”
“What?”
Her hands cradle in her lap, and she takes a deep breath before meeting my gaze. “I like you.”
I’m so unprepared, her confession hits me like a sucker punch.
“Oh stop it. You knew I did.” She rolls her eyes playfully.
“You hide it well, but yeah, I had a suspicion. I wouldn’t force someone to be married to me if I didn’t think the feelings weren’t reciprocated.”
“There’s more though?—”
But I don’t want to hear her list all the reasons she doesn’t think this can work. So I lean in and finally take her mouth. Not gently or cautiously, but the way I’ve been dying to do for years. There’s nothing else I want from her in this moment. No more words, no more confessions. I’ll handle all that later. Whatever’s shattered in her, I’ll put it back together piece by piece. I’ll stitch her heart back together so tightly, she’ll never know it was broken.
