Page 30 of Chasing Forever
“No, it’s not.”
“Well, I’m not some toy to be tossed back and forth.”
“Lottie.” I hear her rise from the chair, and her shoes scuff softly across the room. “He’s not in competition with Holden. He’s not asking you so he can join this family. He’s asking because he wants to date you.”
I always praise Sadie for her calm presence and sweet voice, but right now I could do without it. I circle around and lean my hands on the table behind me, clay sticking to my fingers. “He doesn’t even know me.”
She tilts her head, the way only Sadie can when she’s trying to get me to say what’s buried deep.
“There are a lot of things about me he doesn’t know.” I frown.
There’s one thing in particular—one truth—that would change everything. If he knew it, he’d run. Maybe I should just tell him, so he’ll leave me alone.
“That’s why he wants the four dates. To discover those things about you.”
I blow out a breath, a tremor in it I can’t hide, and stare at the rows of finished pottery. Mugs that will never see the light of day.
I started working with clay after Holden left me. My hands needed something tangible to rebuild when my heart couldn’t be put back together. But other than my family and a few close friends I gift them to, no one knows about my hobby.
I can’t deny the thought hasn’t crossed my mind—why I don’t want to make more of it than just a hobby—but I’m not exactly big on digging into issues. Not ones that could rip me apart if I look too closely.
“Maybe if he wasn’t a Watson, I could…” I shake my head, flinging tiny flecks of clay from my fingers. “No. He’s too close to all that, and, Sadie, that doesn’t just go away with a bouquet of flowers and some sweet words.”
She laughs, and it’s a light sound floating through my darkness. “Brooks? Sweet? I’m not sure that’s something you have to worry about. And flowers don’t seem like his thing either. He’d probably bring you a chicken sandwich from The Sprout House before he brought you roses.” She chuckles, and I give in with a small smile. “Give the man a shot. He’s waited a long time.”
She holds my gaze as I think about her words for about a second. And then I remember that Brooks sees a future I can’t give him. He’s wrong about the life we’d build together. So wrong.
“It’s four dates, and I get to plan the first one. How do I sabotage it?”
Sadie shakes her head with a disappointed look and steps away from me toward the door. “Jude and Daisy are waiting for me.”
“You aren’t going to help me?”
She takes her hand off the doorknob and turns around. “No, I’m not. I’ve stood by your side and understood all these years. I’ve watched you hook up with a guy here and a guy there, knowing none of them were going to last more than a few dates. But Brooks is a good man, Lottie, and I really want you to give him a chance.”
I sag against the table, the clay drying and cracking against my skin, and think about what she’s saying.
“He’s a Watson,” I say, as if that still holds the weight it once did.
“It’s four dates, Lottie. More than you’ve allowed yourself since Holden. I’m begging you—go into it with an open mind.”
Does she have any idea what she’s asking me? Of course she does. That’s what makes it worse. That’s why I feel guilty.
“If after four dates you feel the same, I’ll never say another word.” She raises her hands in a placating gesture.
I don’t say anything, and she reaches for the doorknob again—but the door swings open, almost hitting Sadie before she can step out of the way.
Wren barrels in. “Aunt Lottie, I need your help!”
Sadie ruffles her hair. “Slow down.” She shoots me that same look, like she wants to say, Get it together, and walks out of my shed.
“What’s up?” I ask my niece, pushing away the conversation with Sadie. It would require me to self-analyze, and that’s not going to happen.
“I broke the mug,” she cries. “I need to make a new one. Before Daddy finds out. I was making him breakfast in bed and…” She sniffs hard and swallows.
I bend down, my heart breaking for her. “Okay, calm down. Which mug?”
She swallows hard, and tears cling to her lashes. Seeing how upset she is, I know which mug she broke.
