Page 56 of Reveal Me
‘He was more interested in parading me around to greet the other guests?—’
‘Of course he was. Because Lord Ashworth understands duty and public responsibility. Unlike some people.’
Naturally, she’s taking his side. Does anyone on this earth actually give a shit about me? About what I want?
I take a sip of coffee, buying myself time. ‘Mother, I’ve been thinking?—’
‘Dangerous habit, darling,’ she tuts.
I ignore her patronising remark and press on anyway, because if I don’t voice the question that’s been going round and round in my head, I’ll always wonder. ‘What if I were to find my own match? You know, in this day and age, it’s not uncommon to marry commoners.’
The silence stretches so long I wonder if the connection has dropped.
‘I beg your pardon?’
‘I mean, what if I met someone who understood me? Someone I could genuinely care for? Build a life with—built around love and?—’
‘Layla Sinclair.’ The use of my full name is never a good sign. ‘You seem to have forgotten who you are and what you represent. You are not some celebrity blogger free to follow her heart wherever it fancies.’
‘I understand that, but?—’
‘But nothing. Youwillmarry someone appropriate. Someone with a title will strengthen our position and serve the Crown. This romantic nonsense is beneath you.’
Actually, it’s not. I stand and begin pacing, my bare feet silent on the cold tiled floor. ‘And if I refuse?’
‘Refuse?’ Mother’s laugh is sharp enough to cut glass. ‘My dear girl, you seem to have forgotten that your lifestyle, your security, your very existence depends entirely on the Crown’s good graces. Should you choose to… step away from your duties, you would find yourself quite alone indeed.’
‘You’d cut me off?’
‘Without hesitation—emotionally and financially. And don’t think the public would support such selfishness. The people despise nothing more than someone who turns their back on privilege and duty. You’d be reviled, darling. Completely and utterly reviled.’
My hand tightens on the phone. ‘I see.’
‘I sincerely hope you do. Lord Ashworth called this morning to express his continued interest despite your… episode.’
‘Mother, please. He might be a match on paper, but he is not a match for me. He showed his true colours rather quickly, and a lifetime of looking at them would render me miserable.’
She sniffs disapprovingly. ‘I suppose there’s still Lord Montgomery. Though, unfortunately, he’s been called away on business. If you’d have bothered to meet with him the first time he visited, we could have saved a lot of time.’
‘Let’s arrange something for his return. You sent me hereto consider my options. Please give me a few weeks’ grace to do that.’
I really do need time to seriously consider my options—just not the ones she thinks.
Silence greets me while she contemplates.
‘Please, Mother.’ My voice cracks, not because I give a flying fuck about Ashworth or Montgomery, but because the one man I want to make happy is miserable with me, and it’s all because of these archaic, patriotic duties.
She pauses for a long beat. ‘You will entertain Lord Montgomery graciously upon his return, and you will conduct yourself as befits your station. And I want a full report. Is that understood?’
‘Perfectly.’
The line goes dead, leaving me staring at the phone in my trembling hand.
Outside, the Irish rain continues to fall.
I’ve never felt more trapped or helpless in my life.
Chapter Twenty-Five
