Page 55 of Reveal Me
‘Will I still see you on Friday?’
I should say no. End this before one of us—I—get hurt. But I can’t. I’m not strong enough. ‘Yes. It’s a straightforward arrangement.’ My voice doesn’t waver despite the tumultuous emotions tormenting me inside. ‘Assuming your social calendar permits, that is.’
She cocks her head to the side. ‘Are you going to punish me for this?’
I don’t respond. A part of me wants to punish her–wellhimactually– but I can’t. The only person who crossed the line here is me. My contract. My rules. What goes on outside of Reveal is none of my business–a stipulation I demanded myself. The situation is so fucked up, it’s not even funny.
‘Watch him.’ I nod towards the door where Ashworth is undoubtably waiting. ‘He’s not as gentlemanly as his title suggests.’
‘I gathered as much, but don’t worry, I’m leaving anyway.’ She fires me one final look over her shoulder before leaving me alone with the crate of champagne and the knowledge that I just lied through my teeth. Because nothing about our arrangement is straightforward anymore.
Fuck the ball.
Fuck the fact I’m supposed to be networking.
And fuck the fact I’m falling in love with the one woman I can never have.
Chapter Twenty-Four
LAYLA
‘Is everything quite okay, Your Highness?’ Caspian’s pacing outside the door with Toby and Grant. He reaches for my arm but I shrug him away. His jaw clenches. Sharp eyes narrow as they dart towards Sean who is making his way back towards the bar.
‘I have an awful headache. I’m sorry, I need to go home.’ Truthfully, it’s not my head that hurts. It’s my heart. It’s stupidly aching for a man it can never have.
Caspian’s face falls. He glances around the room at the throngs of people circling, waiting to greet us. ‘Perhaps some water might help?’
I bite back my scoff. Whiskey is what I need, not water. And lots of it. I reach out to touch Grant’s arm. ‘Let’s go.’
He offers a curt nod and motions for Toby to flank my side.
I turn to Caspian. ‘Enjoy the rest of your evening.’
His gaze rakes over my cleavage again. I can’t bear to have him look at me like I’m the last cake on the baker’s shelf. He gathers himself quickly. ‘I’ll drive you, Your Highness. It would be my pleasure.’
But it wouldn’t be mine. Sean was right. To him—I’m a princess, a possession, not a person. ‘No need. Thank you for an enlightening evening.’
Worryingly, the most enlightening part about it was seeing Sean Beckett in the real world, away from the dark confines of his club. Because now I’m in no doubt; it’s not the lifestyle that’s doing it for me, it’s him. The chemistry pulsing between us is the same, whether we’re nearly naked in his sex club, or drinking amongst Dublin’s elite. If he’d have kissed me out here in front of everyone, I’m not sure I’d have been able to stop him.
No matter how straightforward he insists our arrangement is, my feelings have become dangerously complex. Technically, I am well within my right to go out with whomever I choose, or in this case, whoever the Queen chooses. Yet it feels so wrong, and seeing Sean here tonight reinforced precisely why. Sean Beckett is a deeply private man outside of his club, yet he opened up to me about his previous hurt, and whether I’m within the realms of our contract or not, part of me feels like I let him down. Worse, I feel like I let myself down–because I’ve never had the courage to stand up to my mother. But then again, I’ve never had a reason to either.
‘Perhaps we could…’ Caspian’s voice trails off as I march out of the ballroom with Toby and Grant.
The call comes at precisely nine o’clock the next morning, as I’m nursing my second cup of coffee, replaying the look of hurt and hopelessness etched into every line of Sean’s face.
I stare at the screen for a long beat before swiping to accept. After last night’s early exit, keeping the Queen of England waiting isn’t advisable. Besides, she’ll only call Kat.
‘Your Majesty.’ If she detects the sarcasm in my tone, she ignores it.
‘Layla.’ My mother’s voice cuts through the phone with surgical precision. ‘I understand you left Lord Ashworth’s company early last evening. Another headache, I believe?’
My stomach clenches. ‘Yes, Mother. It came on quite suddenly.’
‘How convenient. And how did Lord Ashworth respond to your… sudden illness?’
I hesitate, remembering Caspian’s suggestion of water whilst glancing around at all the people waiting to meet us. He cared more about being seen with me, than seeing that I’m okay. Asshole. ‘He offered me water.’
‘Water,’ she repeats flatly.
