Page 68 of Surrender
I blinked back tears and took in the empty room.
The walls were bare.
There were no shelves lined with trophies. No football helmet perched on the top shelf. No smelly hoodies piled up on the back of his desk chair—just some stains on the carpet and scratches in the wallpaper.
And yet, the memory of him wasso strong.
“You okay?”
Rafe’s voice made me jump, and I glanced up at where hestood, across the room by the window that looked out into the street. “Yeah. It uh… it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be.”
It was hard, there was no doubt about that.
But at the same time, there was something strangely comforting about that space.
A space I spent years running to when I was feeling scared, sad, or confused.
James always knew what to say, and when he didn’t, he spoke from the heart anyway. He was always honest and understanding, and you never felt like you were facing anything alone because he was always there to have your back.
But the truth was, I’d never stopped feeling it.
Even when I was on the other side of the country.
And maybe that was partly due to James and Nate’s elaborate plan to continue leaving me notes, gifts, and messages of love and support throughout the years.
Or maybe it was because it really wasn’t about the place, it was about the person and how I remembered him.
“He must’ve been really proud of you,” Rafe said quietly, leaning back against the windowsill.
I smiled, swallowing past the lump in my throat. “Yeah, he was.”
I knew it more than ever, because standing in that room, I might have been a little older, a little more exhausted with life, but still chasing the things James always believed I could do.
Because he never let me believe anything less.
Chapter Twenty-Four
BLUE
One Week Later
“I can’t believe you guys actually got this thing working,” Shay said excitedly, clapping her hands. “It’s so freaking cool.”
Rafe and I had called in a little assistance to fix the damn Jukebox. But it hadn’t taken a buddy of mine long to fix it up and get it going like it was brand new.
Missy, Kadey, Darcy, and a couple of the club girls wandered over with Shay, the group of them crowding around, already debating what music to play.
But it wasn’t long before…
“Wait a second,” Missy called out, flipping through the discs and halting the escape I was about to make out the side door. “We gave you lists of music!”
I’d also convinced my buddy to fill it with only seventies and eighties music.
“It’s his birthday! It’s only fair he gets to listen to the music of his childhood,” I said, backing away and holding my arms out innocently.
“He spent his childhood in a religious cult. They don’t have childhood music,” Shay protested, though with a clearly amused smile on her face. “Blue!”
I slipped out the patio doors, escaping the tirade of betrayal that was coming my way. It wouldn’t last long, though, because these girls would find the most annoying fucking song on that thing, and put it on repeat just to spite me.
