Page 58 of Surrender
He glanced up, meeting my gaze in the mirror. “Yeah?” He turned and walked out, switching off the bathroom light as I slipped off the bed onto my feet.
“Can we chat about something for a second?” The way his face changed instantly had me shaking my head and searching for new words. “Sorry, I didn’t mean… that came out wrong.”
His worry turned to amusement, and I pinched my eyesclosed, pausing for a second to gather my thoughts before I finally met his eyes again. “I want to say that you were right,” I announced finally, exhaling the words in a rush.
“Darcy—”
“No, seriously,” I cut in, holding up my hand. “I need to say this, so just listen.”
He nodded, folding his arms across his chest as he once again waited for me to pull my shit together and find the right words that I needed to express the revelation I’d come to over the past few days.
“If you hadn’t gotten arrested that day of James’ funeral and forced me to make a choice about Juilliard, I wouldn’t have gone. I would have given it up for the chance to stay here in Detroit with you.” I swallowed the knot forming in my throat. “There’s no way to know if I would have regretted that choice in the long run, but knowing I would have missed the opportunity to do something like that class yesterday with you and the boys makes me thankful that I went to Juilliard.”
Dancing and teaching other dancers was so fulfilling.
But there was something else about teaching these young boys who would honestly never be caught dead twirling in a studio. It was an opportunity to expand their view of the world. How they saw it and how they saw themselves.
I’d been able to sit with them afterward, and talk about strength, the muscles in their bodies that played important parts in their training, and how they could optimize things like balance and speed.
All things I’d studied profusely at Juilliard.
Things I wouldn’t be able to share and pass on without those classes I’d taken.
And seeing them listen and absorb it all, it gave me a purpose I’d been struggling to find.
Nate stepped in closer, reaching for my face. “Getting arrestedwas maybe the dumbest fucking plan I’d ever come up with if we’re being honest,” he admitted, his hand curling around my cheek. “A conversation probably could have done it, but at least I knew being locked up meant that I couldn’t change my mind and try to stop you.”
I blinked against the sting behind my eyes. “I hate that it hurt so bad back then,” I whispered, leaning into his palm and letting out a soft sigh. “But I’m starting to see that maybe it had to. The family you’ve built here is beautiful and amazing, but imagine if things had been different. Imagine if we’d locked ourselves away together, thinking that’s what would make things all better.”
We were just kids. Kids who were desperately trying to understand and survive through loss. And while doing it together, at the time, seemed like the obvious and strongest option, I could see now just how it may have destroyed us.
“Fuck,” he cursed, pressing his forehead to mine. “So, I didn’t screw it up?”
I smiled. “No. I’m pretty sure we are right where we’re meant to be.” I pushed up on my toes and pressed my mouth hard against his, tracing my tongue along his lips and pleading for him to deepen things. I’d spent a lot of time with memories of sweet and stolen kisses from when we were teens, ones that made my heart flutter, but we weren’t teens anymore.
We weren’t sneakily brushing hands in the hallway, leaping apart when we heard footsteps, scared my brother would lose his shit, or my parents wouldn’t let Nate come over anymore if they knew things between us had changed.
We were both adults.
And I wanted more.
Nate had always owned my heart, but now I wanted him to take my body too.
I reached for the hem of my shirt, but he grabbed my hands.
“You’ll tell me when to stop, right?” he murmured against mylips.
My body was completely flushed, my skin hot, my heart racing, but it wasn’t enough.
“Nate.”
“Yeah?” he questioned, sweeping my hair back from my face so our eyes could meet.
“Shut up,” I whispered, gently pushing his hands away and tugging the oversized shirt up over my head. I tossed it to the side, leaving me standing exposed in only a pair of black panties.
The fire that exploded in his eyes as they ran the length of my body was all the encouragement I needed to keep going, my hands finding his tattooed chest and slowly slinking downward.
I took my time, feeling every damn muscle.
