Page 38 of Surrender
Everyone always expected something great from him. He was the football captain. He was at the top of his class. He was expected to be the best.
But within our friendship, there were no expectations.
No faking it.
I was from a shitty home.
He hated being the golden boy.
We understood each other.
James didn’t just give me his friendship. He gave me acceptance. He gave me something to live for.
And he gave meher.
It’d taken every little bit of self-control I had not to lift her onto the kitchen counter in that fucking house we knew so well and make up for the past ten years we’d lost. At first, I wasn’t sure if that’s what she wanted, but then I saw the look in her eyes.
Back then, it was all shy glances and knowing smiles.
Now, it was something else entirely.
And she was fighting it.
She wasn’t sure she could trust me just yet, and I didn’t blame her.
I’d fucked it up before, and it was on me to prove I wasn’t the same stupid kid I was back then. And this time around, I didn’t just want to remember all the reasons I fell for her in the first place.
I wanted to discover all the new ones.
The ones that would make me fall even harder.
I swallowed hard, crouching down and rubbing my hand over my jaw, scratching at the short bristles. “It’s been fucking hard, you know,” I told him, huffing out a laugh as I picked at the blades of grass beneath me. “Watching her from afar. Having to let her make her own mistakes. Not being able to protect her. But she’s really fucking grown and found that fire I knew she had in her.”
As if he didn’t already know because he was the one always fanning the damn flames. Encouraging her to stand up, notto shrink into the background. He was there, hooting at ballet recitals, and bringing the entire football team along to cheer her on when she got the lead in the school play.
He wanted her to have the confidence to be herself and to grow from a girl into a woman.
And fuck, was that woman something amazing.
She was independent and sure of herself. She had a sassy but sweet mouth that I was desperate to cover with my own, and the way her curves had settled into her hips since she stopped dancing professionally…fuck.
“I need to fucking know, man,” I said, pushing back up to my feet. “Was this your way of giving me a second chance with your sister? Because I’m pretty sure she wants my balls in a fucking jar for what I did.”
I never told Darcy, but James knew about the two of us and how close we’d gotten.
I couldn’t keep it from him. I wanted him to know that if he wasn’t there, I’d make sure she got what she needed—even if in the end, I couldn’t give it to her.
A sharp wind picked up, swirling around me and sweeping away the petals that had settled at my feet. I could practically hear his laughter in the breeze, that deep, knowing chuckle like he was standing right here with me, shaking his head. Like he thought I was a dumbass. Like I should already know what to do.
But here I was, standing in a fucking cemetery at night, talking to a goddamn block of stone, trying to interpret the way the wind was blowing instead of just fucking manning up and making a decision myself.
The universe was cackling at me.
I fucking knew it.
As the sun finally sank below the horizon, the temperature dropped instantly, the chill sinking through my skin and sending a shudder up my spine.
I let out a slow breath, folding my arms across my chest and shaking my head.
