Page 97 of The Secrets of Dragonfly Lodge
Stef’s mother had laid out a simple salad lunch for two on a prettily decorated table in the conservatory and everyone had agreed that the thing to do was to leave the couple together to renew their acquaintance. Cara would stay in the kitchen and Stef and Aaron would absent themselves for a few hours. Aaron had suggested that they go to the coast. Stef went to greet their visitor in the hall, then showed him into the living room. She smiled as Nancy rose stiffly from her chair. Tears sprang to her eyes when she witnessed the joy in the old lady’s face.
‘Come on,’ Aaron whispered in Stef’s ear. ‘I suppose we’re taking Baxter?’ At the sound of his name, the dog, whom Nancy only allowed here because he was too slow and stiffto bother her beloved Tabitha, waddled from the kitchen, his ears pricked hopefully.
‘Coming, old boy?’ The plumed tail waved in response, so Stef clipped the lead onto his collar and they followed Aaron up the road to where he’d parked.
They were quiet as Aaron’s car purred along, negotiating the confusing network of narrow country lanes that he’d come to know like the back of his hand. Stef was tenderly aware of his long, strong fingers moving from wheel to gearstick as he slowed to take the bends in the road. From time, to time he glanced across at her and smiled, and once he reached out and briefly stroked her thigh, causing her to feel a hot wave of desire.
After Stef had mustered the courage to ask Aaron to meet her for a drink in London, their closeness had grown in fits and starts since the previous summer. Eventually it had turned to passion and Stef had been surprised and overwhelmed by the gentle power of his lovemaking, which left her gasping with happiness. And how she in her turn could move him to tears. There had been harder times at first, though, times when he’d withdraw into himself and not answer her phone calls, but gradually she came to understand that these were not about her, but about his fear of revealing his deepest self to another person. He’d been too badly hurt in his life, by poor parenting and by the breakdown of his marriage, and she had to earn his trust.
A particular delight had been getting to know his daughter. Stef and Livy had taken to one another quickly. Livy’s artless chatter amused and touched Stef, but she learnedthat the little girl had a more vulnerable side. Stef had met her mother Crystal several times, and though she liked her stylish looks and bubbly personality, she saw what bothered Aaron. Crystal was always giving Livy things to placate her if she was upset, rather than letting her be a child who needed her mother’s help to navigate life’s difficulties and grow. Stef’s friendship with Livy was joyful and uncomplicated, but it was also a bit like walking a tightrope, for she didn’t wish to be considered interfering or critical by the girl’s parents. Fortunately, so far she’d avoided these dangers and gained the child’s friendship in the process.
They passed through a quiet village which had an old pub with a blackboard outside advertising food. ‘Shall we stop here for lunch?’ Aaron said, signalling and slowing the car. ‘It says dogs are welcome.’
‘Looks good to me. What about you, Baxter?’
They found a picnic bench in the orchard behind the pub, where Stef settled Baxter under the table while Aaron fetched pints of lager and a menu. The sun climbed overhead in a sky of depthless blue. A thin young man with a white cloth tied as an apron took their order, then brought them each a cheese ploughman’s, as well as a special dog sausage, and they laughed when Baxter sniffed at it suspiciously before gulping it down. They themselves ate lazily, without speaking much, enjoying companionship, the clink of cutlery the only sound apart from birdsong and the buzz of passing insects.
‘I wonder how the happy couple are getting on,’ Stef said as she forked up coleslaw.
‘I can’t imagine.’ Aaron smiled. ‘They’ve so much to talk about. D’you think they’ll quarrel?’
‘Perhaps they should and get the past out of their systems.’
‘An odd situation, isn’t it? I mean, they both married other people and had meaningful lives. They’re not the same as they were fifty-odd years ago.’
‘I think the outcome will depend on whether James gets on his high horse. Nancy will be gracious, but steely, too. She’s not going to let him off the hook easily.’
‘Do you know that?’
‘No, not really, but honestly, Aaron, you’d have thought she was twenty-five again the way she was this morning.’
‘I thought that, too,’ Aaron laughed.
Stef grinned at him. ‘We’re older already than they were when they last met.’
‘Christ, that’s true. Makes me feel ancient at thirty-three!’
‘And I’ll be thirty-two this year. What have I achieved?’
‘A flourishing freelance career? One successful book behind you and another in the works? Oh, Stef.’ He covered her hand with his on the table and looked grave. ‘You’re amazing.’
‘There are other things I want, Aaron.’ She gazed at him steadily.
‘Children. I know.’ He said this softly and sighed.
They’d discussed the matter recently. It had been Stef who’d asked him, in a playful kind of way as though she was asking whether he’d ever let Livy have the pet dog she hankered after: ‘Do you think you’d ever have a brother or sister for Livy?’
Aaron had first of all been adamant that he didn’t want anymore children, but seeing how unhappy this answer made her, he’d sighed then, too, and said he supposed he didn’t know, but anyway, not for a long, long time. Having babies was so much trouble.
She’d swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded sadly. It was a deal-breaker for her. Much as she adored him, she couldn’t stay with him if he didn’t want a child with her. She’d always known she wanted them. The longing came from deep within her. It had been worse lately. She could imagine having Aaron’s children. They’d look a little like Livy, but not as dark; a little like the twins, but not as fair. The twins were nearly six now, happy at school. Rob and Pippa were much happier as well. Pippa had started training for a career in fitness and Rob was applying for accountancy jobs in Norwich. Stef and Pippa’s relationship had deepened, too. The sisters were more at ease with one another nowadays.
Now Stef stared out across the pub’s country garden, where late daffodils waved under fruit trees that were beginning to green. They’d only just started discussing the future, she and Aaron, tentatively, both getting used to the idea that they might be in it for the long haul. She stayed over at his more than the other way round. After all, she had her neighbour Gary with his obnoxious music. Aaron’s flat in North London had two bedrooms, the smaller one painted in the style of a forest glade with trees and stencilled woodland animals, rabbits, foxes, a fawn or two. Livy loved it. He hadn’t asked Stef to move in yet, but she guessed that he was thinking about it. He needed faith and courage, she thought, to make the leap. It wouldn’t do to force it.
Aaron was feeling in his back pocket for his wallet. ‘Shall we go? There won’t be time for the beach if we hang around.’
She nodded, climbed out of her seat and unwound Baxter’s lead from the table leg. ‘Let me get this.’
‘Certainly not. My treat,’ he said.
