Page 34 of After the Rain
A few minutes after Aidan leaves, and I can’t help but think that maybe Corey was waiting for exactly that, he creeps downstairs, Pax followingclosely behind him. Apparently, Pax has decided that Corey needs his protection more than Aidan or me. I’m more than fine with that. If Corey was able to sleep easier knowing he had this gorgeous animal there to protect him, then I’ll happily take a back seat in the dog’s affections.
“Morning,” Corey mumbles, sleep still thick in his voice. Hmm. Maybe he wasn’t waiting for Aidan to go. Maybe he was just absolutely exhausted.
“Morning, babe. How did you sleep?”
“Like the fucking dead. Seriously, that bed is so comfy.” I chuckle because, yeah, it really is.
“Tea?” I ask, nodding towards the kettle.
“Mmm, please,” he smiles gratefully.
I potter around making Corey a cuppa with milk and two sugars. I have no idea if that’s how he takes it, but I do know that that is the optimum ‘managing a crisis’ cup of tea. I hand it to him and busy myself making some toast for Corey as well, while I try to build enough courage to ask him what I need to ask him.
“So, uhm, did you get on OK with Nash yesterday? Was everything OK? Physically, I mean?” He smiles at me knowingly over the brim of his cup as if he’s just been waiting for this conversation to begin.
“I’m fine, Rain. Honestly. I mean, I wasn’t, I’m not going to lie. When you left, Dan went fucking spare. He came barrelling into the club and had me pinned against the wall, screaming into my face about how I knew where you were, and I had to tell him and stuff. Obviously, I had no idea you’d even gone, let alone where you were, and I told him so. Well…” He pauses as though he doesn’t want to say the next bit. “He didn’t like that, and neither did Dom. Dan hit me a few times, but then after he spat in my face,” I cringe at that – such a needless, disgusting act – hating that my leaving led to this for him. “He left, and then when Dom got me home that night. It was,” he sighs, “it was pretty bad.” Corey looks down into his cup of tea, a haunted look on his face.
“What do you mean ‘pretty bad’?” I ask, not really sure I want to know the answer.
“He, uhm, you know what, it’s OK. You don’t need to hear it. I—” I put my hand over his on top of the counter between us, his toast completely forgotten in the toaster.
“I need to hear it, babe. If you don’t want to or can’t say it, that’s something different. But don’t try to protect me.” I stare him down gently until I see him relent. Honestly, if he pushed back, I would let it go in a hot second. But I know how much offloading all the shit that Dan did to me when I first met Aidan helped me withprocessing. And I really want that for Corey as well. I hope he can offload, get counselling, and maybe he can find a life here too. It would be amazing to actually have some time and space to invest in this friendship properly.
“He, uhm, he fucked me that night, babe, but it wasn’t a normal fuck. It was… brutal. Painful. I let him, so it wasn’t really anything worse than usual, but his grip on me was tighter and his words more caustic; just called me the worst names you can imagine and had me in a chokehold at one point.” A lead weight falls into my gut. I had suspected as much. No matter how consensual Corey is making it out to have been, it wasn’t. He wouldn’t have wanted that level of malevolence. Corey can be sassy and snarky and all kinds of inappropriate occasionally, but deep down, he’s a soft and gentle person who just wants to be loved and taken care of. I guess he and I both went looking in the wrong places. When it comes to Dom, I can’t say I’m surprised at his ability to switch that level of aggression up a notch – something about apples not falling far from trees and all that – but I had hoped that maybe, just maybe, it wouldn’t have actually happened. Having confirmation that it did, hurts.
“I’m so sorry, Corey. I’m so sorry that happened to you.” I have tears filling my eyes, I know, but Corey doesn’t need to carry myemotional labour. I swallow it down and prepare myself for full disclosure.
“That’s why I left.” Corey’s head snaps up sharply.
“What?”
“That night I left, Dan got it in his head that I had been flirting with that handsy prick at the club, and he did the same to me, only there was not even an ounce of consent.” My tears spill over. This will never not be hard to talk about. “I mean, he beat the ever-loving shit out of me first, and then when I collapsed on the floor and couldn’t fight him off anymore, he decided a good way to finish me off would be to assault me. He, uhm, he, I think if he hadn’t got woozy and then passed out from the booze and coke, he’d have actually killed me.” Corey’s hands are gripping mine so tightly, and mine are doing the same in return; both our fingers have gone white from the pressure.
“Fuck!” he shouts. “Fucking fuck! Fuck those cunts!” Tears are running down Corey’s face as he jumps up from his stool and paces the kitchen, pulling at his blond hair. The platinum blond he used to love has grown out significantly, and his darker blond natural colour has grown in at the roots. I jump up and go to him, wrapping him in a hug. We just stand there, holding each other as we cry. Two men, two survivors, two friends. We got away. That’s the important thing. And yes,we could go to the police, but honestly, the track record the police have when it comes to victim-blaming or reports just going missing, especially when paired with the fact that Dan and Dom’s family are fucking loaded and connected, was all I needed to know and was the reason I didn’t go down that road. I just wanted to disappear.
“Did you go to the police?” I ask, curious.
“What, to be told it was a ‘gay’ thing or that I probably asked for it? Yeah, no. I just left. I’ve never had anyone in my life love me, neither in a relationship or friendship, really, and the one person I thought could be someone like that for me” – he looks at me meaningfully before continuing – “was scared away by those twats, so I just thought ‘fuck it’. He finished, went, and had a shower, and I packed up my few things and left. I was gone while the water was still running.”
I smile at him, impressed with how decidedly he walked away from that situation.
“Was that the first time?” I ask. Corey looks a bit green when he answers.
“No. But when you were still around, it was almost worth it. Before I was with him, I sold myself to live, after my Gran died, so it didn’t feel too much different. It is. I know that. But in my head it was like, I don’t know, anyway, as soon as you were gone, I was just like, fuck this. I didn’twant to keep putting up with it. I’ve survived on my own a long time, and it wasn’t the first time I was on the street.”
My heart breaks at his words, and I wrap him up in my arms again.
“I’m so glad you’re here,” I say. “Will you stay? Aidan and I want you to stay with us until you get sorted out. But I want you tostaystay. For good. This is a cute place, and it’s quiet and so different from London. Everyone here knows everyone, but it’s not oppressive, it’s like… family?” He smiles at me reassuringly.
“Babe, I have literally nobody else, and nowhere else to run to. I’m staying as long as you’ll have me. I’ll find a job as soon as I can.” I grin hugely, relieved that he plans to stay.
“Thank fuck! I’m so pleased.”
“Now, enough with the heavy.” He looks at me with mischief in his eyes. “Tell me all about your sexy-as-fuck lumberjack. How did that happen, and where can I get one?”
Corey and I spend a lot of time together over the nextcouple of weeks. That first day, while Aidan worked, we caught up about what he had been up to, and he told me about the gym he had been working in cash-in-hand and about John, the kind older man who tried to help him but whoCorey was too afraid of dragging into trouble, so he kept his distance. I’m glad that, despite refusing to stay with him, John used to bring him food and let him use the gym showers and stuff. I hope I get to meet him one day to thank him for looking out for my friend.
We sat and watchedThe Vicar of Dibleytogether while we chatted, a shared love of the gentle comedy show having been one of the things we’d bonded over initially when we met. Then I had to leave him to Pax’s company while I got ready to go out.
