Page 32 of After the Rain
Honestly, I don’t think Aidan realises what he has given me here. Yes, I’ve been having my counselling sessions, which have been super helpful in really getting past some of the hateful self-talk I had been engaging in for years. But moving – dancing – is my truest form of therapy.The way I can express my feelings, thoughts, and emotions with my body is catharsis. Release. Freedom. This song is kind of perfect for that – the slow tempo and the haunting vocals inspiring movement that flows with weight, like honey dripping off a spoon.
Not only that, but this song reminds me of Mum. She’s been at the forefront of my mind the last few days, and I hope to God that she can see that I’m now in a better place. With friends, a family. Aidan. The man I know I want to spend the rest of my life with. Yes, it’s fast. But honestly, I’ve never felt anything so right in my life. I think when it comes to love, we owe it to ourselves to dive in, take the risks, be open and vulnerable, because all too soon, and all too suddenly, life can be taken away. And what a shame it would be to die and always wonder what could have been. If the love I feel for Aidan could have grown from this beautiful, infant thing into something huge, life-altering, and soul-searing. I don’t want to wonder. I’ve wondered for too long what could have been, would have been, should have been. I’ve asked myself ‘if only’ too many times. So, this time, I’m saying thiscouldbe everything I ever wanted. Iwouldregret walking away. Ishouldlet myself be happy. Happiness is as fleeting as the time we have on Earth. At least it can be if we don’t grab hold of it tightly with both handsand refuse to let go, regardless of the opinions of others.
Thankfully, the only people who matter are Aidan and I. And Aidan’s family, of course, but we know they are all happy for us. I think they, especially his Mum and Dad, have been waiting for Aidan to find someone and be happy for a long time. Hopefully, the way they have accepted and welcomed me into the family so easily and openly means that they see that I may be just as good for him as he is for me.
The tempo of the song accelerates into the frenetic riffs of the electric guitar as it reaches its climax. I spin around the pole faster and faster, pushing my body to its limits. I lift my legs above my head and allow my body to express itself however it wants. I switch my brain off as much as I can and just feel how my body wants to move.
When the song ends, I collapse to the mat, panting and breathing deeply, and I feel light. Happy. The next song on my playlist, “Show Me the Way” by Peter Frampton, starts up, and it brings a smile to my face. Aidan has already shown me the way. The way I could be loved. Should be loved. And would be loved for the rest of my life.
Later that night, after we’ve eaten somedelicious pizza that we had delivered from the one and only takeaway in Fenside Common, Aidan and I say goodnight to Corey, who has been understandably quiet all evening since he came downstairs. Aidan kisses my nose and sends me upstairs to get ready for bed while he lets Pax out and locks up. I’ve just finished brushing my teeth and climbed into the shower when he comes into the bathroom and locks the door behind him.
He brushes his teeth quickly before stripping his clothes and dropping them in the laundry basket. As soon as he enters the shower, I’m wrapped around him and kissing him deeply. He tastes like mint and something else that’s just him. Delicious. And all mine.
He strokes the sensitive skin of my sides with his big hands before gripping me around the waist, his hands almost able to fully wrap around me there. I kiss him until I’m breathless, and then I kiss him some more. This man. This wonderful man has taken me and my potted history into his life, his heart, and his home with such grace and kindness. He is genuinely the best person I have ever known.
I switch places with him so he’s under the spray of the shower and take his hair down from the elastic band he has holding it up. I take his shampoo and wash his hair. He groans when my nails scrape over his scalp as I do. When I’m done,he leans his head back to rinse the suds out.
He takes the sponge and squirts a generous amount of shower gel onto it, the spicy scent of his products filling the steamy space. He cleans my tired body from top to bottom with such care and affection that I feel my emotions start to overwhelm me. Tears spring to my eyes, and a lump fills my throat. When he begins his return journey up my body, cleaning me without intention for anything other than this simple domestic care, he meets my gaze, and I see the same tears in his eyes that fill mine. I cup his face in that way that I do. That way that I love, as it captures his gaze with mine every time.
“I love you so much, Aidan. Honestly, I can’t even contemplate how lucky I am to have landed here with you. Fate was smiling on me the day I put my finger down on that map and landed on this place. You are everything. I love you,” my whispered words are barely audible over the rushing water of the shower, but he hears me just fine. My tears are spilling over and down my cheeks, but the shower spray disguises it. I suspect my Aidan isinthe same situation anyway.
“I love you, baby. You changed my life. You brought light and life back into my days. I had been treading water, and I didn’t even realise it. I want you to stay with me. Always. Please, baby, don’t leave me.” His voice breaks on those lastwords, and if it were even possible, my heart fills with even more love for this man.
“I’m not going anywhere. Ever. You’re my home. You and Pax and this place, your family. You’re all my home. Keep me. I want you to keep me.” He rushes forward and kisses me with a passion that rocks me in my core and causes my dick to fill up so fast it makes my head spin as all my blood rushes to my groin. Aidan washes himself perfunctorily before turning the shower off and reaching for a couple of bath towels. He wraps me up in one before wrapping himself up, too. We dry off in the bathroom before rushing naked across the hall to our room, hoping like hell that Corey doesn’t choose this exact moment to go to the bathroom.
When we get safely back to our room without incident, Aidan closes the door and locks it. He lifts me up and gently places me on my back on the bed. His cock is huge and hard against my thigh, and as he kisses my lips, my neck, my collarbones, and down to take my hard nipples in his mouth, I grind my hips up, desperate for some friction.
The way this man loves me in every way a man can love another is the stuff of the greatest poetry and literature in history. But the way hemakes love, that is the stuff of the greatest fantasies I’ve ever had.
Twenty-Four
Aidan
Ikiss Rain everywhere. His chest, his abs, his shoulders, his arms, hands, and fingers. I kiss down his legs and kiss each of his toes while he whimpers and writhes beneath me. I kiss my way back up his body until I’m hovering over him, kissing him deeply on the mouth. He returns my kisses and wraps his arms around my shoulders, gripping onto me tightly like he never wants to let go.
I never knew that making love could feel like this, and we haven’t even really started yet. Neither of us speaks a word, and yet, our eyes and bodies say everything. Rain pulls me down to him, kissing me again so softly and gently that it makes a groan escape from my throat. His higher-pitched whines spur me on, and very quickly, my tongue is sweeping urgently through his mouth, his own wrapping around mine and tasting every inch of me.
I hold my weight on my left arm to the side of his head and, as I continue to taste his mouth, I run my right hand down his side. His skin is so smooth and soft, it makes me feel like an uncouth ruffian next to him with my work-roughened fingers and calloused palms. I can hear the roughness of my skin as it makes its way down his body. He shivers, and goosebumps appear under my hand. Maybe Rain doesn’t mind the roughness. Maybe he likes it.
When my hand reaches his groin, I rub the backs of my fingers up his stiff length before pulling away from our kiss. I trail sloppy kisses down his chest and take each of his pebbled nipples into my mouth, sucking and nibbling while he whines and moans beneath me. I continue my trail of kisses down his abs until I reach his slight treasure trail, nuzzling into him as his scent gets stronger the closer I get to his groin. When I reach his cock, I immediately take him to the back of my throat and suck. He cries out before clamping his hands over his mouth, no doubt mortified to remember that Corey is just down the hall. Pulling off him with a chuckle, I grab his legs behind his thighs and push them up towards his chest, exposing his beautiful pink hole.
“Take your legs, baby,” I instruct. He does as I asked, and then I’m shuffling down to get closerto where I want to be. With a growl and little to no finesse, I lean forward and bury my face in that opening, using my elbows to support me so my hands are free to pull his cheeks apart. I sniff him and lick at his crease before I circle his tight, pink rim with my tongue. Rain gasps at the contact and then moans into the pillow he’s pulled over his face to muffle his sounds. My sweet boy does tend to get a bit loud. Wanting to hear more of him, I spear my tongue and press it into his hole, loosening him up slightly and getting lost in the flavour of him. I lose track of how long I’m down there. Minutes? Hours? Weeks? Fuck knows. All I know is that I could happily live here for the rest of my days. Rain’s gasps and cries get louder as his hole starts to clench around my tongue, and I know that if I don’t stop, he’s going to come before I get inside him. I force myself to pull away and reach over to the bedside table, draping myself over him and teasing his crease with my dick – so hard it could pound nails – as his legs wrap around my waist.
I grab the lube and a condom. When Rain hears the crinkle of the plastic wrapper, he lifts his head and catches my eye.
“Do we need that?” he asks. Technically, no, we don’t. Nash tested Rain when he arrived, and everything came back clear. I was tested after my last time with someone, and was also all clear.
“You want to go without, baby?” I ask. He nods, and my cock twitches in anticipation of getting to feel him raw.
“I want to feel all of you. I want you to fill me up.” Well, fuck. I nod and toss the condom away in the general vicinity of the bedside table.
I open the lube bottle and squeeze a generous amount onto my fingers. I stroke the thick liquid over his hole before pressing first one, then two of my thick fingers into his hole. I press inside with efficiency, spreading the lube inside his body and glancing over his prostate quickly. He’s so close already, and I want to be inside him when he comes. Want to feel his tight, hot channel clench around my bare cock. There is something so primal about the thought of claiming and marking him this way. All thoughts of my anxious and passive sexual history fly out the window with Rain beneath me. He brings this dominant, possessive beast out of me and, fuck, I know it’s archaic, but the idea of owning him in this way makes an inferno catch alight in my belly.
When I add a third finger to his hole and he begins to grind down into the mattress, I remove my fingers to the sounds of his whining protest.
“Shhhh, baby. I’ve got you. I’m here.” I press the blunt head of my cock against his opening, and he lifts his hips just slightly, tucking hispillow under them to make the angle easier. I press inside him torturously slowly, and our groans are in sync as I continue to push inside until I’m seated to the root of my dick.
“Aidan!” he cries out, a slight edge of panic in his voice. I sit back on my heels, taking him with me until he’s pressed against my chest. I wrap my arms around him, and he grips my shoulders so tight, his nails, I’m sure, leave little half-moon indents in my skin.
