Page 11 of After the Rain
“Basically, yeah. I didn’t even get to keep the money I made. That’s why I had stayed as long as I did – I had no money to leave. I’d been saving little bits. Then, the last night I danced, some guy in the club tried it on with me and was groping me. Dan hit the roof and said I had led him on, and then decided to go postal on me. He—” Rain pauses. “Do you want to hear this?” I smile softly, my hand twitching to reach out to him.
“Yes,” I say gently. “You had to live it. The least I can do is listen to you.” Rain smiles wanly and leans forward, resting his forearms on the table, picking at his cuticles.
“Well, he basically threw every slur and horrible name at me that he could think of, and beat the shit out of me, telling me what a slut I am for leading him on, and how I was lucky that hedidn’t offer me to the guy for a fee, so at least he could make some money off me whoring myself out.”
I begin to fear that I’m clenching my jaw so tightly, I may actually crack my teeth. The rage that boils in my stomach is all-consuming, but I know I have to keep it inside so I don’t scare Rain.
“When I started to argue back, he er…” Rain continues to look down at his hands that are now clasped so tightly together on top of the table that his knuckles are white. A single tear tracks down his cheek, followed quickly by another. And another. “He raped me,” he says, voice barely more than a whisper, and I swear I feel like someone simultaneously set my gut on fire and stabbed me in it. I bite my tongue so hard I can taste blood. I don’t want to hear any more, but I know he needs to get this out. Just release it from his body, like poison from a wound.
Rain swallows thickly before continuing in a shaky whisper. “He raped me and said he didn’t want a whore as a boyfriend and wanted to remind me who I belonged to. Then he just left me on the kitchen floor and went to bed.” Rain is still looking down, but I can see his brow is furrowed deeply with anguish, and his bottom lip is shaking like a leaf in the wind. His voice has that thickness that hurts your throat when you try to talk through tears. I swear my heart isbreaking right now. “I had a shower, which was very painful as you can imagine, and then had to get into bed with him. I wanted to leave straight away, but I knew the only option I had was to get the money he had in his wallet. So, I had to wait until he fell asleep. It took a while as he was off his head on coke, but he’d drunk loads as well, so once he was asleep, I knew he’d be out all night like normal, and I snuck out.”
Rain looks up at me, and I see tears running down his cheeks again. I stand and move beside him. I don’t care if it’s weird, or too quick or whatever the fuck else. I’m generally not a violent man, but if I don’t hold him right fucking now, I’m going to walk out the door and not rest until I find the cunt who did that to him and put a blade in his fucking throat.
Seven
Rain
Well, fuck. That was not the conversation I planned to have over breakfast. I have to admit to myself, though, that it feels better somehow to have shared that burden with someone else, who isn’t looking at me in a medical capacity. My throat is burning, and my nose feels swollen and stuffy, but nothing matters in this moment because Aidan has me wrapped up in his arms and pressed against his chest. That strong, muscular chest that smells like sawdust and cedar from his shirt, and a rich amber and oud scent that fills my lungs with the smell that I am increasingly associating with Aidan.It must be his shower gel,I think to myself. I may start using it, just so I can carry his scent with me all day.
Smell is such a powerful sense. And the smell of this man makes me think of three words.Safe. Secure. Home.My face is buried in his neck,his cheek is flat against the top of my head, and, for a second, I think I feel his lips brush my hair.
After several minutes, or maybe an hour. A day? I don’t know for sure, as I could lose time forever in his arms. I pull back, and after resisting for a split second, Aidan does too. He reaches over to grab a few serviettes from the dispenser on the table and gently wipes my cheeks. He hands me the slightly soggy tissue, and I use it to blow my nose – gross and embarrassing, but better that than having snot running down my face.
“Well, that was a lot,” I say, trying to inject some light humour in my tone and cringing a little when it falls flat. I can’t look at Aidan. I just know he’s going to look at me differently now. It takes only a few seconds before strong fingers take hold of my chin and tilt my head up, forcing me to look at him.
He smiles softly, then sweetly says, “Hi.”
I chuckle. “Hi.” We just stare at each other for a long few moments, before the lady from behind the counter comes over to stand by our table, a look of concern on her face.
“Everything OK?” she asks softly, with a kind expression. I nod and move back from Aidan, needing to take a breath before I do something stupid like climb him like a tree right here in the booth.
“Yes. Sorry for making a scene,” I say wryly. She looks over her shoulder, and I follow her gaze, noticing that the café is, in fact, totally empty except for us three and the sounds of, presumably, the cook banging around in the kitchen.
“Nothing to apologise for, sweetheart.” She smiles again before clapping her hands briskly, reminding me of my old primary school teacher, Mrs Thompson. She was my favourite teacher. “What are you pair up to for the rest of the day?”
“Uhm.” I look back at Aidan, who snaps his gaze away from me when I do and looks up at the lady, whom I can only assume is Poppy.
“We’re heading to Tesco for some shopping since my cupboards are bare—”
“Shocking!” she scoffs, interrupting Aidan, and I stifle my giggle. He looks at her, narrowing his eyes in that way people do with their close friends when they take the piss.
I break the stare-off by saying, “Yep. I’m going to make him some healthy, yummy meals to say ‘thank you’ for letting me stay. And then, I need to find a job. In fact, do you know anyone who might be in need of someone?”
Presumably, Poppy gives Aidan what I can only describe as ‘a look’, then he clears his throat and says, “Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that.”
“I’ll leave you to it,” Presumably Poppy says, clearing the table with practiced ease and taking our dishes back to the kitchen.
I spin around and pull one knee up, allowing me to face Aidan properly, my eyebrows raised in curiosity. Does he know someone who might have a job? I just hope it’s nothing too physical right now, although to be honest, I can’t really be too picky.
“So, we have an office in the boatshed for DB, and my sister, Wren, has been helping us, but she’s actually pretty busy with uni, and the place is a mess, and it would be great to get it all sorted out before the holidaymaker season starts, and so I wondered if you might be interested in sorting it out. It’s basic office admin and stuff, but it would be a huge help to us, as none of my brothers, nor I, are any good with computers and all that, and we’re not very organised either.” Aidan pauses his ramble long enough to smile at me. “But obviously, you can say no. You’re not obligated to, uhm, yeah…” He trails off.
I can’t help but wonder if he’s giving me this opportunity out of pity or not, but I’m not really in a position to be proud now, am I? I need a job so I can earn some money to, hopefully, fix my car and find somewhere to live that isn’t such an imposition on Aidan. I suppose the plus side of accepting this job with his company would bethat I can still see him often while I’m at work. I can’t help but feel bad, though, that he feels the need to offer me something, and put his own sister out of a job at the same time.
“It sounds perfect, Aidan, really, but if your sister is already working there, then I wouldn’t want to impose on her job. Although…” The very real need within me to stay within this man’s orbit is pushing me to accept, but I can’t steal someone else’s job. Before I get the chance to finish my sentence, not that I’m even sure of what I would’ve said, Aidan interrupts me.
“No, really. You’d be doing me – erm, us – a huge favour really. Wren is swamped with uni and the farm and has been on our case to find someone, but we just haven’t gotten around to it yet. We really were about to advertise, so not only are you available now?” he tentatively asks, and I nod in agreement. “But you would be saving me the time and money of sorting out an advert.”
I can’t believe that after so many years of living with someone who treated me so poorly, so violently, and only finally finding the strength to leave after being so horrifically assaulted, that fate could find her way to make up for so much of that by dropping this man into my life. A man who, at least temporarily, has given me a safe place to sleepand a job in a quiet place where I’m quite sure that Dan won’t ever be able to find me.I can’t be that lucky. Can I? Or maybe I can. Maybe after so much shit, the universe has decided I deserve a break. That thought warms me inside, and I decide then and there that while I need to move out of Aidan’s house and give him his space back, I still want to keep him in my life, and this job could be a great way to do it.
