Page 35 of Strong Side
I look at her and smile. “Yeah, totally.” I decide not to say anything about Trey’s text because I know she’ll tell Casey.
I can feel her looking at me.
“Okay. If you’re sure.” She touches my arm.
“I’m good.” I place my hand on hers.
“So … you and Casey …”
“Yeah?” I try to act nonchalant about it, but I know what she’s asking me.
She chuckles. “Okay, so you’re going to make me ask.” She turns her body to look at me, but also possibly to shield the other girls from hearing us. “Are you sure you know what you’re doing?”
“Well, I mean, what did he tell you?” I really hope he hasn’t told her that I asked him to have sex with me. I would be mortified.
“Noelle, you know I like you, and we’ve always gotten along, but my brother is literally the other half of me. I just don’t want to see him get hurt by this. I know he’s a big boy, but you have to know how he feels about you.” She turns toward me fully and takes a serious tone. “He would be so pissed at me for talking to you about this, but I just really want to understand what’s happening.”
I drop my head back and close my eyes.
“I know why you’re doing it, but I want to know where your head is too. You and Casey … make sense, so I’m not at allsurprised that you would say he’s your boyfriend, but tell me how you really feel about him. Do you really see him as just a friend, or is there potential for more? Because for him—and again, he would kill me for telling you—this is more.”
Hearing her say that makes me smile. I’m also a little nervous to put my cards on the table. Because, honestly, I don’t really know what to feel about all of it. And I’m not naive enough to think the physical part of this arrangement won’t affect our relationship.
I pause to think about my words because I think it’s important for her to not only hear me, but to see the sincerity on my face. “Charlie, you know I love Casey.” I look at her, and she nods. “He’s truly the best friend I’ve ever had. Yeah, it was natural for me to blurt out his name to Trey—because Casey has always been there for me in every way. But in the last few weeks, I’ve felt a shift. I don’t know if it’s always something that’s been there, simmering, or what. But I want to be around him in a different way than I did before. Does that make sense? I’m not great at explaining this, but I want you to know I have no intention of hurting him.”
Her expression, which was laced with concern, changes to one of relief, with a wide smile and big eyes. “So, are you thinking you want to see if this could turn into something real?”
“I honestly don’t know what to think or feel right now. Things are definitely changing between us in more ways than one. I do know that he means everything to me, and I would never survive losing him as a friend.” And I mean that.
“What are you two talking about over there?” Lily asks from her place on the couch.
Charlie looks at me before she speaks—asking permission, I think. “We’re just talking about Casey and Noelle finally getting together.”
Lily jumps up from the couch. “Wait, are you serious?”
I can’t help but laugh. “I mean, we’re testing the waters, I guess.”
I know Charlie knows it started as a fake relationship, and the guys and these girls do know that Trey was bothering me, but they don’t know that I told Trey we were dating. At least it doesn’t appear that they know. So, even though I trust these girls, I think this is my chance to set the narrative. Because as much as I do like Lily, she’s a talker.
“I literally couldn’t be happier!” She claps.
“That’s awesome, Noelle! I’m so happy you guys finally got your heads out of your asses.” Arbor laughs.
“I honestly thought you were already dating on move-in day.” Chelsea shrugs. “You guys are together, like, all the time. At least it seems that way when I’m home.”
I suppose I have been really clueless.
“So, like, have you had sex yet?” Lily plops back down on the couch.
Charlie whips her head to Lily. “Lil, I don’t think I need to hear about my brother’s sex life.”
“Oh hush, Char. Your poor brother has to live with you and Beck. We don’t, and we still see you guys all over each other nonstop.” She waves a hand at Charlie. “So, have you?”
I internally debate on how far I should take this conversation. I mean, I could talk to them about the sex lessons without telling them I asked for sex lessons. Because maybe there is something they could suggest to try? Fuck it.
“No, we haven’t had sex yet. We’re taking things a little slow.” I shrug, and when I look at the girls on the couch, they’re all looking at me like I’m insane. “What?”
“Noelle, respectfully, how much slower are you gonna take this? Foreplay has lasted, like, three years too long. The edging is intense, even from an outsider’s perspective,” Arbor says, which absolutely shocks me.
