Page 12 of Now that I Found You
Brea’s sweet voice echoes down the hallway as Kinsley calls out, “We’re in the bathroom.”
“Hey,” Brea sings, popping her head over Kinsley’s shoulder. “This is a weird place to hang out. What’s going on?”
“Ellie might be pregnant.”
Hearing Kinsley’s words was like a snap to reality. I might be pregnant. I could be a mom. Could I do this? What if something ever happened to Callum? Could I do this alone by myself? What do I have to offer this child?
Thoughts of self-doubt race through my head. The voices so loud that I can’t even hear Kinsley and Brea talking to me before Kinsley waves her hand in front of my face.
“C’mon, we need you to sit down. You’re looking all pale. If you don’t pull yourself together before Callum gets home, he’s going to know something is wrong. There’s nothing for you to be worried about, seriously.”
Kinsley pulls me by my hand down the hallway, as Brea wraps her arm around mine. Pushing me to sit on the couch, I pull a blanket over my lap, folding my arms over the armrest and lying my head down.
“I’ll call and make you an appointment. If you want, I can even go with you to Everton.”
Kinsley starts pacing in the living room as she talks on the phone with the doctor’s office as Brea sits down on the floor, leaning against the front of the couch.
“What’s running through your head, pretty girl?”
Brea picks up on everything. If you think for a second something can get by her, you’re sadly mistaken.
“I think I’m just scared.” I hate admitting those words out loud to myself.
“Well, of course you are.” She laughs, picking at the edge of her shorts where the denim is frayed. “I’m pretty sure that’s normal and very common for first time parents. Does this have to do with what happened with, um, your mom and all of that?”
Before the trial, the last time I had seen my mom was the day I was abducted. Seeing her face when I opened the door to run away, just before I was knocked unconscious, was hard. Callum has been there for me through the nightmares and the anxiety of having to see her in court.
My mom had suspected Royal was up to something after his release when she found papers with my name and Arbor Creek noted. She testified she learned from my aunt, who was the only person who knew where I was, that I was staying in Arbor Creek, Iowa. All those years she never believed he was hurting me, but what she found when she arrived here to come to find him, was something else entirely.
We haven’t spoken to each other, but she testified in court, which helped put Royal away. I’ve told Callum I have no intention of speaking to her ever again, whether she believes me now or not. All I care about now is moving forward.
“She has shown me in many ways how not to act as a parent, but no, this isn’t about her. It’s about my dad and Gram. I know what it’s like to lose the people you love. The more you let people in, the more likely they will be taken away. I couldn’t bear the thought of losing Callum, Brea. I can’t. If I were to lose him or if something were to ever happen to this baby,” I sniff, using the edge of my thumb to wipe beneath my eye. My other arm wraps protectively around my stomach, as I let out a heavy breath. “I just don’t think I’d be able to survive it. I just couldn’t.”
“Ellie, you’re the strongest person I know. What you’ve been through,” Brea says, scooching closer to me, running her thumb under my eye catching a tear. “You deserve to have all those sad times left in the past and move onto happier times. I know you’re scared, but you have so much to look forward to in your future. Don’t let your fears take that away from you. You deserve to finally have your happy ending.”
“Thank you,” I mutter, as she kneels next to me to give me a hug.
“Of course. You’re stubborn as hell sometimes, but I’ll always be here to remind you that your family is bigger than you think it is. You’ll never go through anything alone again.”
