Page 40 of Until I Found You
His wall is down. All his emotions are laid out before me. I don’t know what to do, what to say. So, I do what’s best for the both of us, and for once, I just shut up. I wait for him to say whatever it is he’s been wanting to say, while praying in the process he doesn’t crush me.
“I’m sorry,” he says, pausing for a moment to take a deep breath. He looks somewhere behind me, his eyes become distant. He’s lost in thought before snapping out of it, falling back on mine.
“I’m sorry for not walking you out to your car at Brodie’s like I wanted to, for not being with you at Hudson’s when Krate approached you again. I’m sorry for…”
I can feel the weight of this bearing down on him. This isn’t just about the present, but so much more.
Pressing my hand to his chest, I want to tell him it’s okay, he doesn’t have to bring it up, but the words are out of his mouth before I can.
“I’m sorry I left you, Halle. I’m sorry I feared losing you too. I thought I was doing right by you, letting you go. After we lost Gage, I felt like I failed him. I couldn’t bear the thought of failing you. It would kill me if something ever happened to you, Halle. Do you understand me?”
His thumb traces along the curve of my cheek and I realize then he’s catching my tears, wiping them away.
“I hate to see you cry. You’re too beautiful to be crying.”
Rubbing my hand over his forearm, I whisper a soft “hey” urging him to look at me.
“It’s okay. I’m okay, I promise.”
He nods his head but keeps his gaze down.
“I’d give you my heart, beating in my chest, if it meant protecting yours.”
Wrapping my hands around his neck, I pull him closer to me. His heart is hammering in his chest, pulsing like a drum, as I press my lips against his neck.
“Graham, it’s okay. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”
It takes him a moment, but I can hear the breath he’s holding ease out of him as his arms tighten around me. We stand like this for a while, in the middle of the dance floor, holding each other. Even with our close friends here with us, dancing around us, it’s like nothing else exists.
When the song changes to something with a faster pace, Graham leans back away from me as he cups his hands on the sides of my face.
“Will you come somewhere with me?”
I simply nod my head, when on the inside I’m screaming, “Yes, you big idiot. I’d go anywhere with you.”
He eases his hand down my arm, wrapping our fingers together as he leads me off the makeshift dance floor and out to the door at the back of the barn.
Callum’s mom and stepfather own the property, but Callum and Ellie’s house is visible as it sits in the distance. There’s a small creek in the back separating the two. We used to come down here all the time when we were younger.
It’s getting late now. The sun has long since gone down. The lanterns lining the outside of the barn give us enough light to lead our way. Other than that, it’s just us and the moon shining bright overhead. Graham and I don’t speak to each other as we walk, but I am taken by surprise when a few yards away there’s a blanket laid out on the ground.
“Will you sit here with me and just let me hold you again?”
I swear, he’s stolen my heart again.
“Of course,” I say, as he unbuttons the front of his jacket, laying it on the ground. He adjusts his dress pants, as he sits down leaving his legs open for me to sit between.
I lower myself, pressing my back against his chest. His arms envelope me in a hug, holding me close to him. He rests his chin on my shoulder, pressing his lips in a line from my shoulder up to my neck.
“Maverick told me what happened, what Krate said to you outside of Hudson’s the other night. I wish you would’ve called me.”
“Graham—” I say, stopping him. I’m frustrated and don’t want to talk about this again.
“No, listen. I’m sorry, I just need to say this and then we’ll put it to rest.”
Letting out a sigh, I ease back against him and let him get this off his chest. No matter what I say, he won’t let it go until he does.
“I wish you would’ve called me and told me what happened. After that night at Brodie’s, I thought I made it clear if he does it again, I want to know about it.”
