Page 6 of Tender
Well, fuck. It was the start to Cosimo’s vacation, which was also the start to their dynamic shift. Once a year, Cosimo took ten days off to slip into a twenty-four-seven role where he would be berated, denied, humiliated, fucked into oblivion, made to beg and plead, all by Emmett. He would be degraded, forced to ask for the bathroom, forced to ask to sleep and eat and scratch his nose.
He would be caged and slapped around. He would have rug burns on his knees by the end, and blisters on the heels of his hands from supporting his weight on them as he crawled through the house for hours on end.
And when it was over, when he was thoroughly shattered into a thousand pieces, Emmett would put him back together and he would be stronger for it. Happier.
It was something Emmett had come to accept about his husband. It was a role he’d grown into over the years.
It wasn’t something he would have chosen for himself, but it was something he gave the man he loved. The only problem was, the thingEmmettneeded was the one thing Cosimo couldn’t give him, and he was a little afraid that this vacation would push him past his own breaking point.
It was a conversation they needed to have, but it would have to wait until after the week was over. Bringing up something like that wouldn’t do them any good until Cosimo’s head was in the right space to receive it. His job was hard. He was a pediatric heart surgeon who held the lives of tiny patients in his hands.
He was a surgeon who often lost patients from the circumstance of their little bodies giving out from illness and defect, and he had to live with the knowledge that there was nothing he could do. It sat on his chest like a weight he couldn’t get rid of.
He was good at his job. He was more than good at his job. But it was killing him, and all Emmett could do was count down the years until retirement and take Cosimo to his knees every time he needed it.
“What did you tell her?” Emmett asked.
He shrugged. “A few hours won’t throw off the schedule too much.” He bit his lip, then his voice went quiet. “Perhaps, Sir, you could plug me and cage me before we go.”
Emmett nodded and shivered. He might not love slapping his husband’s balls until they turned red, but hedidlove being called Sir. He loved the position it put him in. There was only one other honorific he craved to be called, but he would never be Cosimo’s Daddy. He’d only been gifted that title a few times in his life, but always with temporary partners.
They both knew he needed something like that in his life permanently—to balance the scales and keep him from tumbling over the edge, but so far, it wasn’t meant to be.
It was a someday. A hope. A fantasy.
Still, Emmett couldn’t help but start losing faith that finding his person was possible. There were things about himself he couldn’t change that tended to turn off men who wanted a Daddy. Like the fact that he was married. Like the fact that he had a child.
Like the fact that he was a trans man.
But, as Cosimo always told him, anyone who wanted Emmett to be someone else—to twist himself into shapes that didn’t belong to him—wouldn’t be the kind of person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.
They’d never fit in their home.
And Emmett wasn’t willing to risk his marriage or his life to just anyone. He was too happy for that.
“We’ll keep it short. Book the little spot by the water that you like,” Emmett said.
Cosimo nodded, then stood up. He was uncharacteristically soft as he walked around Emmett’s desk and used his powerful hand to push his chair back into a lean. He was taller than Emmett, and broader, but somehow, he seemed smaller when he straddled his legs and wrapped around him.
Emmett didn’t get these moments often. Cosimo loved him, but he loved differently than most people. He loved in words and actions. He would fight the sun if Emmett said he preferred the moon.
But cuddling him like this was rarer than a total eclipse.
Emmett held him tight enough that Cosimo almost lost his breath. Just the way he liked.
“Thank you, amore,” Cosimo whispered.
Emmett eased him back and kissed him gently. “Anything for you, my love.”
Cosimo’s eyes shifted down and he licked his lips. “I know you’ve been struggling. I know you’ve been trying to hide it because things for me have been a shit show, and Selene isn’tmaking any of this easier.” He pressed his hand to Emmett’s sternum, then dragged a touch to his lower belly. He wasn’t as fit as he used to be, and under his shirt were tiger-striped stretch marks from when he’d carried their daughter.
It had been hell on earth to stop his testosterone. And worse when he’d gone on hormones to make conceiving possible. His dysphoria had gone through the roof through the whole pregnancy, but when it was over and he held his baby for the first time, he knew it was the right choice.
Not one he’d ever make again, but for a while, they had been the perfect little family.
And then it had started to go all wrong.
“I don’t want you to regret me and what I asked from you,” Cosimo whispered.
