Page 42 of Tender
And maybe—just maybe—he could carve himself a little space here and have something he never thought possible.
CHAPTER TWELVE
EMMETT
“Do you need to…”
“No,” Cosimo said very quickly. He obviously knew what his husband was going to ask. “I’m so far away from all that right now.”
Emmett sighed and turned on his side, watching as Cosimo finished stripping down. His nipples were red from clamps, his lips a little chapped, and he was walking with a slight limp from the plug that had been tormenting him all day. But he was soft between his legs, and his slightly red ass disappeared when he pulled his pajama pants over it.
“Mo?” Emmett knew his voice hadn’t sounded that small in a long time. Cosimo turned to look at him. “I know tonight was a lot, but I’m…I need…” He hated asking his husband for the comfort that he struggled to give.
Cosimo didn’t make him finish his sentence. He didn’t wait for him to ask, or beg, or bargain. He slipped under the sheets, turned off the bedside lamp, then took Emmett into his arms. His broad chest was warm, fuzzy, and perfect against Emmett’s front.
“Amore mio,” Cosimo murmured.
Emmett closed his eyes and finally—now that he was safe—let the pain wash over him. Cosimo had been crushed that Miles thought Emmett was capable of hurting him, but Emmett was devastated. He was flayed raw and damn-near ruined because the man he wanted to cherish and keep thought—even for a second—that he could hurt the man he loved.
He realized he was shaking when Cosimo’s arms tightened around him.
“I’m so sorry,” Cosimo murmured. “I’m so fucking sorry. I should have been better. I should have waited?—”
“No.” Emmett squeezed tighter. It was a little hard to breathe, and he was pretty sure the sensation rushing through him was a panic attack, but his husband was keeping him grounded. “That was not your fault. We’re going to fix this. Fix us.”
Cosimo pulled back and cupped his cheek. “We are not broken.”
Emmett looked at him for a long beat. “We’re not broken, but we’re also not…whole. Not together. It’s not enough.”
“I know,” Cosimo whispered, ache in his voice.
“I want it to be enough. I want to be able to turn this feeling off and be happy just as we are.” He pressed his hand to Cosimo’s sternum.
Shaking his head Cosimo reached between them and tipped his chin up. “This isn’t on you. If I could pretend—if I could put on a mask and give you what you need—I would. But you deserve something genuine. Something real.”
Emmett shuddered, and he knew Cosimo was right. It wasn’t the same for him. He did like being able to reduce Cosimo down to a mess. He loved watching him shake apart, and beg, and kneel. He wasn’t wearing a mask when he was with Cosimo. But he was missing other parts in his life that could give him thecomfort and attention he was seeking outside of his relationship with his husband.
“Listen to me,” Cosimo said softly. “He doesn’t know.”
“What do you mean?”
Cosimo met his gaze. “Miles doesn’t know about us. He doesn’t know our marriage is open for a third. But I’ve been paying attention to the way he looks at you, amore. He wants you, and he hates himself for it because he thinks he can’t have you.”
Emmett let out a trembling breath and thought back to Miles’s confession. Everything Miles wanted was everything Emmett was desperate to give. But was it actually possible? The biggest roadblock was the fact that their daughter was the one who had tormented Miles.
How could they reconcile his past life with a future one with them?
They couldn’t cut their daughter off forever…could they? He wanted to have hope she’d learn and get better and try to be the person they’d raised her to be. He didn’t want to lose his child.
But how could he have both?
“I know what you’re thinking,” Cosimo murmured as he stroked his fingers through Emmett’s hair.
He blinked up at his husband. “How can this possibly work?”
“What we do—who we love—is not her business. And she has no say over who Miles is with. Not ever. She has zero moral high ground in this. It’ll be up to her to accept it. Even if she’s sorry—even if she does better—she still doesn’t get to ask us to choose. Not with him.”
“I can’t give up on her,” Emmett said softly.
