Page 11 of Big and Bold
I go to the bathroom, pull my clothes off, and turn on the shower. I don’t wait for it to warm up, and the cold spray has me sucking in a breath.
When the water turns hot, I wash my hair and my body and take my time shaving. I want to stay in here and avoid what’s outside the door for as long as I can. When the water starts to turn cold, I shut it off.
I step out of the shower and listen intently, trying to see if Dustin has come back into the house or not. There’s no sound, and I breathe out a sigh of relief. I towel dry my hair, then my body, and wrap a towel around myself. I should have brought pajamas in here with me.
I suck in a breath and crack the door open. The bedroom is empty, so I walk over to the dresser and pull the drawer open. As soon as I do, Dustin walks in, stopping right next to me. My eyes flick to his, and the desire is instant. I can see it in his face, and I know it’s reflected in mine. I grab a pajama shirt, which is just one of his old shirts, and a pair of underwear. I avoid his gaze. “Sorry, I forgot to take clothes in with me.”
I don’t wait for him to answer. I step into the bathroom and quickly get dressed. I brush my hair, blow dry it, and when I have no more excuses to hide, I step out.
Dustin is sitting on the edge of the bed, elbows on his knees. He lifts his head to look at me. “Annie, we need to talk.”
CHAPTER 9
DUSTIN
I’m a hard man. My whole life I’ve kept things bottled up. I’ve never been vulnerable. Hell, I didn’t even know what that word truly meant until now.
But I have to try because I can’t lose Annie.
I need to lay it all on the line and see if we can make this work. I can’t lose her, and if I do, I’m going to spend the rest of my life regretting it.
While she was in the bathroom, I tried to come up with a plan, but now that she’s standing in front of me, it’s like my mind has gone blank. I wish I could lay her back on our bed and just show her, but that hasn’t worked well for me in the past. I need to do more.
I must have taken too long to continue because she walks around the bed. “I think we’ve talked enough, Dustin.”
She pulls the covers back and climbs into bed, pulling the blanket up to her shoulders, her back to me.
I turn off the lamp and lie down on the bed, my body turned to her. She sighs softly, and I curl my hand under my cheek. “I’m sorry, Annie.”
She gasps, and it’s almost like she can’t believe she’s hearing those words from me. Hell, I should have started with that. “I’m sorry for everything.”
She rolls to her back and looks up at the ceiling but still doesn’t say anything.
“I know I messed up. Hell, I messed up a lot.”
I roll to my back too and throw my arm up over my head. “I don’t deserve a second chance, but I would give anything if in this next month, you could be open…”
My voice trails off because I worry I’m messing up again. She has given and given and given. She gave up her life, moved away from her family, all of it. And all I do is take.
When I don’t continue, she asks, “Open to what?”
I tense because this is so important, and I wish I was holding her instead of lying here trying to give her some space. I turn to face her. “You don’t owe me anything, Annie. Nothing at all. I know you don’t, and I feel like a dog even asking you this, but since we’re going to be together for the next month, I don’t want you to hate me this whole time. I’m going to prove to you that I can be different?—”
“Different?” she asks. “I don’t want you to be different.”
My voice drops. “I mean, fuck, Annie. I don’t even know how to explain it. I’ve kept my guard up with you.”
She fully turns her body toward me and rests her hands under her cheek. “Why?”
I choke a little. “Well, uh, that’s a loaded question.”
She groans. “Forget it?—”
I put a hand on her arm. “No, listen, I’ve kept my guard up with you because I knew… I mean, I thought you were going to leave me anyway. I thought you were just biding your time with me.”
“What?” she asks angrily. “You thought when I married you that I was just playing? That this was just something temporary?”
I let out a breath. “I thought… I thought you would come to your senses. I thought you would realize you could do better than me, and I knew when it happened it would destroy me. I just thought that if I protected myself it wouldn’t hurt as bad.”
