Page 10 of Big and Bold
I nod my head. “Yeah, because I knew I wanted you to be my wife. I knew I wanted to be with you.” I almost say it. I almost say the words, telling her I love her, but she tenses up, and I lose my nerve. I let out a breath. “We didn’t move too fast, Annie. Yeah, we wanted each other, but it was more than that. I wanted you to be my wife.” I blow out a breath. “Do you regret marrying me?”
CHAPTER 8
ANNIE
I gasp at his question. How can he think that? Even after everything, I haven’t regretted one second of my marriage with him. “No, I don’t regret marrying you at all.”
He sits up and looks around the ranch and then toward the house. “I know this is not what you’re used to.”
I groan in frustration. “You’re not listening to me, Dustin. You’re not hearing me.”
He takes a deep breath, and I can see him visually trying to calm himself down. “I’m listening. Talk to me, explain it to me.”
When I don’t say anything, he shakes his head. “I know you don’t owe me anything, Annie, but I need to know. Please.”
I nod my head and feel arrogant even saying it, but I force the words out. “Fine. You act like I’m too good for this house.”
He just stares at me. “You are too good for this house. Just like you’re too good for me.”
I open my mouth to protest, but he keeps talking. “Baby, you’ve seen the world. You’ve traveled all over and seen places that I’llonly dream about. The house you grew up in costs twenty times what my ranch does. You can have anything and anyone you want. You expect me to believe that you’re happy here? With me?”
Stunned, I just stare at him. How can he think I’m not happy with him? How can he not know that he is more than I want or will ever need? I would give up all the money I had to be with him. Heck, that’s what I did.
I stand up because sitting next to him on the swing is just too much and too tempting. It’s always been this way. Ever since we met, it’s been like a there was a magnet between us, drawing us together, and now, even when we’re in a disagreement, I feel it. “You’re right, Dustin. I had money, and if I wanted anything, I bought it. But you know what I couldn’t buy? I couldn’t buy love. I couldn’t make my parents spend time with me. I had friends, but I didn’t know if they were my true friends or if they were there because they got to vacation at lavish places or spend time at my family’s mansion or what. I had sitters and people paid to be around me.” I cross my arms over my chest. “And when I met you, I felt…”
I stop and shake my head.
Dustin stands up and moves in front of me. “You felt what?”
I search his face and shrug, not wanting to put voice to my thoughts.
He gets defensive and shakes his head. “I never took a dime of your money, Annie. I wanted?—”
I cut him off. “I know that. I meant that when I was with you, it was the first time I’d felt wanted. I truly felt you were with me because you wanted to be.”
He reaches for my hand. “I did… I do.”
I let him hold my hand, relishing his touch, and then pull away. “I was naïve. I thought you loved me.”
His voice drops a full octave. “I do.”
I suck in a breath. This is the closest he’s come to saying the words, but it’s not enough. “This isn’t love, Dustin. We have separate lives, and the only time we were truly together was in the bedroom.”
He’s struggling to find the words, but it’s just too little too late. Pain etches my heart, and I suck in a breath. “It doesn’t matter. None of this does. It’s over… or it will be in a month.”
I walk away, unable to stand here a second longer. “I’m going to bed.”
I get almost to the door when he says my name. “Annie.”
With one foot inside, I stop. “What is it, Dustin?”
His voice is tight. “In our bed, Annie. You know the deal.”
It’s like a punch to the gut. It’s like he hasn’t heard a thing I’ve been trying to say to him. He just wants me in his bed. That’s all he cares about.
I don’t answer him. Instead I let the door slam behind me, and I walk through the living room and down the hall to our bedroom. My clothes have all been hung in the closet. I don’t even have to open the drawer to know that my underwear, pajamas, and socks are all in the same four drawers I had before. It’s almost like I never left, and it pains me to think that things are just going to go back to the way they were.
Can I deal with thirty days of this? At least before, we had great sex, and now that’s not even in the mix. I want to, and it wouldn’t take much for him to convince me to make love with him, but I also know that it’s just going to make this so much harder if I do.
