Page 35 of Ravaged Wolf
“That first wolf who decided that rank was a thing, and he wanted to be on top of it, and he was going to undermine everyone’s natural confidence to do it.”
“Who was he?”
“I do not know, but I guarantee, he was male, and he was unsatisfied with the size of his dick.” Abertha snorts and then takes a deep breath. “Never mind that. Let’s circle back. You, Izzy Owens, did well today. I suspected you had the makings of a good healer, and you’d come to it when the time was right, and I’m pleased to discover that yet again, I’m right.”
“I just followed you around and listened.”
“First of all, don’t knock the ability to listen. Second, you proved that you have the instincts of a true healer.”
My cheeks flame, and I can’t meet Abertha’s eyes. I’ve never been able to take a compliment, and I think that’s what she’s doing, even though she sounds like her usual salty self. I’m too shy to ask her what she means, so I’m happy when she explains.
“If you listen to humans, or our people who trained with humans, they’ll convince you that knowledge is the key tohealing. To them, it’s all about diagnosis and treatment regimens and standards of care. Pain is a symptom, and not an important one. Doctors will even tell a patient that their pain isn’t as bad as they say.”
“How would they even know that?”
Abertha shrugs. “Well, if knowledge is the key to healing, and you know everything, I guess you know how much a person does or doesn’t hurt. A real healer gives the brain its due, but she pays equal attention to the heart and gut, and she will tell you that pain isn’t ‘the body’s alarm system’ or a number on a scale from one to ten. It’s apower, a destructive power, and its damage isn’t incidental. You knew that, so you tended to Harri’s pain, and your instincts were solid. You told him how bad it would be and when it would end.”
Of course, I did. “Anyone would do the same, right?”
“Wouldanyone?” She pierces me with her hard gray eyes, and I know she’s thinking about our long evenings alone in the infirmary, the nurses tiptoeing in and out as quickly as they could, my mother gone as soon as visiting hours were over, even though she was allowed to stay.
“I can’t be a nursing aide. I already have a job. I work in accounting.”
“Doing what? Going clickety-clack all day?” She mimes typing on a keyboard.
“I work from home. I don’t leave much.” I’m not sure why I’m arguing. The idea that I’d just up and switch jobs was ridiculous a few hours ago, but now, it’s got a shininess to it.
“You left today.”
“I have no idea why,” I say softly, watching the evening breeze blow gentle ripples across the surface of the lake. “Why today? I didn’t have a plan. I didn’t know anythingabout orientation.” I glance over at Abertha. “Nothing happened or changed. It’s just a random Tuesday.”
She nods. Her expression is serious, but her eyes are oddly warm. “Yeah, that’s how it happens. You fall into a deep, dark hole, and then some random Tuesday, for no particular reason, you decide to climb out. That’s a power, too.”
“Climbing out of a hole?”
“Deciding.” She smiles, flashing her gold tooth. “So are you going to be my apprentice, Izzy? I’ll warn you ahead of time, the job pays jack shit, and there’s a lot of bodily fluids.”
My parents will never agree. Mom is always nagging me to get out more, but she doesn’t mean to do menial work among lower ranked wolves. I’m not sure why exactly Dad will lose his mind about it, but I have no doubt he will.
That should be enough for me to make an excuse and scurry back to my room, but it’s a random Tuesday, and by some miracle, I dragged myself out of a deep, dark hole today, so instead, I say, “What are the hours?”
And I decide to change my life.
7
IZZY
I was right.Mom and Dad were dead set against me giving up my “prestigious” position working for accounting from my bedroom. They basically shouted me down every time I brought it up. I didn’t stop bringing it up, though. I’d drop it as soon as Dad’s wolf showed his fangs, but I kept trying.
I wasn’t getting anywhere until one day, I ran into Abertha on my now daily walks along the lake shore. I explained to her that I was working on it, and she said, “I want you to know, what I’m about to do, I wouldn’t do for anyone I didn’t truly believe was going to make my life a butt-load easier.”
And then, the next day, Dad got a call from Uncle Howell who told him Madog Collins heard that I wanted to work at the infirmary, and he should let me.
For the next year, I apprentice with Abertha when she’s in town, and when she disappears on her mysterious errands, I do grunt work around the infirmary—stocking shelves, mopping floors, and laundry. So much laundry. It’s not fun or easy work. Mom thinks it’s beneath me and lets me know every chance she gets, telling me that my handsare chapped and my clothes stink like pine cleaner as if I don’t know.
I’m not a big fan of the grunt work, but healing clicks in a way that piano and tennis and accounting and corporate communications never did. It’s like the deeper I go inside myself, the better I get at doing the outside work.
Like, for example, one of my first lessons was about medicinal plants. Abertha and I would trek through the woods for hours, searching for the big three—dragon’s tongue, ashbalm, and wolf’s bane. We rarely got lucky, but when we ended the day empty-handed, she’d say, “Good work today. We’re narrowing it down. We’ll have better luck tomorrow.”
