Page 9 of Lies in Promises
I pause.
Why the hell am I thinking like this?
I can’t leave. I can’t walk out of this house and leave my baby brother just because I don’t want to be reminded of what we no longer have.
He doesn’t deserve that. He doesn’t deserve to have another family member abandon him.
But…
But if I do leave, it won’t be a forever thing, and he will have Henry.
The thought process from a minute ago pops up in my head again.
Bennett deserves me at my best, and if leaving gives him that, I need to do it. For both of us.
I need to do something about all the emotions from my parents’ deaths. I need to figure out how to move on.
If I don’t do anything, it will never get easier.
I can ask for professional help, but what good will that do? All they will have me do is relive every last detail.
No—in order to forget, I need to leave.
Everyone will be better because of it.
Bennett.
Me.
Not putting any thought into it, because if do, I will back out of doing this, I go into my closet and start packing a duffel bag.
As the sun goes down, I throw random stuff I may need into the bag, and when it’s almost pitch black outside, I feel something I haven’t felt in a month.
Solace.
Bennett is going to hate me for leaving, and Henry isn’t going to understand, but that’s okay. I will come back, and I will make it up tenfold.
This might be the worst mistake of my life. Or…
It could be the best decision I ever make.
I won’t know until I walk out the front door.
I’ve made up my mind about leaving, about escaping this personal hell, but that still doesn’t stop me from sitting on the edge of my bed until well past midnight, thinking about my decision.
My mind comes up with so many scenarios, I almost convince myself not to go through with this, but I push them away.
I drown those thoughts, trying to find myself back in the solace, grab my bag, and get up from the bed.
There is no looking back as I quietly open my bedroom door and walk through the long hallway to the stairs.
I hesitate slightly when I step down, but after I shake my head, I continue until I reach the massive front door.
One turn of the doorknob, and everything will become easier.
“Where are you going?” A small voice makes me jump just as I pull the door open.
A cold chill runs through me.
