Page 37 of Lies in Promises
My own tears form.
I want to hold him here. I want to barricade this damn property and make him see reason. I want him to get it through his skull that if he leaves, he may never come back. I want to say I just got my brother back, even if it was for a short time, and I don’t want to lose him again. But much like the night he left, I know no matter what I say, no matter how much I beg him to stay, he will still find a way to leave.
He’s determined.
Maybe he will come back. Maybe no promises will be broken this time around.
Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe.
I’m going to keep my fingers crossed and hope I’m wrong. I want to believe he will do everything in his power to come back to his kids. I want to believe that they won’t be orphaned at such a young age.
We will have to wait and see.
Either way, I find myself speaking. “Okay.”
I watch as his eyebrows lift. “Okay?”
“Okay. I will watch the kids. Go look for your wife.”
Gratitude takes over his expression, and for the first time since the driveway, I see him relax just a bit.
Robert closes the distance between us, places his hand on my shoulder, and squeezes. “Thank you, Benny.”
All I can do is nod.
He gives my shoulder one last squeeze and gives me a tight, closed-lip smile before turning away and heading to the door of the study.
Before he walks out, I stop him.
“If and when you come back, I want an explanation. I want to know why you left and only came back now. I want to know everything.”
I want us to mourn our parents togetheris what I want to add, but I keep it buried deep.
Robert nods. “I will give you every answer you want, Benny.”
He leaves, and I’m left standing there.
I don’t know how long I stay in the study, but when I leave, I tell myself to have some faith that everything will work out. This won’t be another lie within a promise.
I have to have faith that the niece and nephews I never knew don’t have to go chasing ghosts like I’ve been doing for as long as I can remember.
CHAPTER 13
ROBERT
When I was sixteen, I thought the hardest thing I had to do in life was mourn my parents and walk away from their house, leaving my brother behind. At eighteen, I thought it was signing away guardianship to Henry. At twenty, it was figuring out how to take care of a baby.
None of those times compares to what it’s like to walk away from your children, even if it’s for the best.
I thought it would be easier.
I thought it would feel like the hundreds of business trips I have taken to Mexico City.
I thought I would simply say bye to the kids, leave in the dead of the night, and be prepared in a few weeks, like I was going on a vacation instead of the dark unknown.
It isn’t any of those things.
Leaving my kids is harder than I thought it would be.
