Page 31 of Lies in Promises
Right. There are a few logical reasons as to why they aren’t here. There is no reason to panic.
But no matter how much I try to be reasonable, the panic still swims through me.
I check every room on the first floor, but I come up empty. No matter how hard I yell, no response comes back to me.
My blood runs cold when I make my way up to the second floor. My heart feels like it’s going to explode with every door Iopen and find nothing. I’m nearly in tears when I reach the door to the master bedroom.
There is sweat rolling down my body, and as I turn the nob, my hand shakes.
As soon as the door is open, I almost fall to my knees when I look at the bed.
The relief that swarms me is instant. The blood no longer feels cold. For the first time today, there isn’t a pit in my stomach. All four of my kids are in bed, either asleep or with headphones covering their ears.
They are here. They are still here.
The baby and Samantha are curled up and asleep together, while Grayson and Elliot are hyper-focused, watching something on the portable DVD player at the foot of the bed.
That’s why they didn’t respond—they couldn’t hear me.
Even now, they don’t notice I’m in the room until I’m a foot or two away from the bed.
Elliot looks up first, his eyes meeting mine. For a second, I can’t help but think just how much he looks like Bennett.
It’s not the first time I’ve thought about how the boy in front of me and the boy I left behind look alike, but this is the first time I’ve pushed the thought away instead of letting it settle. If it did, I would be thinking about how my son looks like my brother, who is my reckoning for abandoning Bennett instead of raising him.
Your kids could have grown up with him.
No. I won’t let my mind go in that direction, not right now, when I feel like I’m going to crumble.
With my head somewhat clear, I walk over to the edge of the bed and place kisses against both Elliot’s and Grayson’s heads.
My oldest swipes at his hair when I move over to his brother, acting like my kiss disgusts him.
“Ew, Papi. Why are you kissing us?” he asks as I make my way to the other side of the bed and kiss my other two children without waking them.
“Because I missed you,” I answer him, and I can’t help but feel relieved that there was nothing for me to worry about. “Where’s Mami?”
“En la cocina.” It’s Grayson who answers, and the second his words register, my blood is back to running cold.
In the kitchen. He said she was in the kitchen.
“When did she go to the kitchen?” I feel like I’m in a trance as the question slips out.
“After she put on the movie. She said she was going to make us a snack,” Elliot answers, pointing to the small screen.
The kitchen was spotless when I walked through it. Everything was in its place. Nothing looked as if it was touched after breakfast this morning.
She hadn’t been in the kitchen.
Without a second thought, I walk to the foot of the bed and grab the DVD player. A movie is still playing, and when I check the time stamp, I see it’s been on for a little over an hour and a half.
For an hour and a half, the kids have been alone.
I start thinking maybe she figured since the baby was sleeping, she could go to the store quickly to get whatever she needed, but there is something about the thought that doesn’t sit right me.
If whatever she needed was a necessity, she would have called for someone at her father’s to come stay with the kids. From there, she would have gone to the store and come right back. No way in hell would she have left them alone for this long.
Not unless something happened.
