Page 22 of Lies in Promises
That was the one promise I was able to see through.
The promise I made Bennett the night I left has yet to see the light of day, but the promise I made Marisela was what kept me going.
Elliot Tomás Lane was born a year and a half after Marisela and I met, named after me and my father.
As soon as my eyes landed on him, it was like everything in the world changed.
It was like I wasn’t drowning in my emotions anymore. For the first time in a long time, I wasn’t angry at my parents for dying. I wasn’t angry at myself for leaving Bennett behind.
For the first time in a long time, all the shit made sense.
I was still angry, though.
Still angry because I pushed away the two people who cared and loved me the most, and now they weren’t there to meet my son.
And that’s how I continue to feel as life moves on. Every time something big happens in my life, I think about Bennett and Henry, about how they should be there to witness it.
They should have been there when Marisela and I got married two months before Elliot was born, when I got back from basic training, and when I decided to move back to Texas for a bit.
They should have been there as I went on my first deployment.
When Elliot took his first steps.
When Marisela and I decided to leave the States behind and move to Mazatlán indefinitely.
When I decided not to reenlist, I worked as security for my father-in-law.
Better yet, they should have been there when our other three children were born.
They should have been there when I told them we named my daughter after my mother.Samantha Catalina.
I should have seen Bennett’s face when I told him my second son was named after him.Grayson Bennett.
And I should have seen Henry’s when I told him my youngest was named after him and my father-in-law.
Daniel Enrique.
But they weren’t there.
Because I ruined everything.
I cut all contact.
I never went back to Chicago.
I never checked in to see if they were okay or let them check in on me.
I just fell off the face of the Earth and never looked back. They didn’t deserve that. They didn’t deserve the hurt I caused.
After what I did to them, they are better off without me.
I’m a selfish prick, and I have a feeling I always will be.
CHAPTER 10
BENNETT
22 YEARS OLD
