Page 135 of Hitting the Goal Line
“Good, but how are you? I feel like we haven’t talked a whole lot about the subject. And we don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. But if you do, the door is open and I’m here to listen.”
I appreciate Chloe.
When we got back from San Francisco, Blake and I looped Liam, Chloe, and Logan in on everything that was going on. Since it was something that the media was picking up, especiallynow with Elijah playing the victim, they had a right to know what was going on.
Since then, the three of them, with Eliana and Christian, have been as supportive as they can.
But as much as I don’t want to not think about the whole situation, it’s a little hard. Now more than ever, because of the charges I pressed against him, just add to the whole situation. One helpful part is the fact that the case was moved to Chicago, since most of the situation happened here, but everything else about the case makes me want to have an anxiety attack every time I think about it.
The lawyer that I hired to help me with all of this, keeps throwing hypotheticals my way and every day, and each and every time a new one pops up, it throws me off course. This type of case can go in so many different directions, that every time I hear of a new one, I start to question if I should continue to pursue it or just drop it. Every time my lawyer tells me that the evidence that we have might not be enough to at least put him behind bars for a day, I get discouraged and want to give up on this all together.
It’s an internal battle and I don’t know what to do anymore. I just want to be done with it and not have to think about Elijah Swanson ever again. And with every passing day, I wonder more and more if pressing charges was the right call.
Letting out a sigh, I try to center my thoughts and answer Chloe’s question.
“I’m okay,” I start, trying to find the right words. “But it’s starting to feel like a lot,” I admit.
Why did I think that pressing charges against someone was going to be easy?
“I get that,” Chloe says, squeezing my hand again.
I look down at the ice to center myself a little bit by looking for my number ten. Blake was officially cleared to play a few daysago and this home game against Boston is his first day back. He was able to travel with the team to Dallas but he wasn’t able to play. I know that he’s glad to be back on the ice, but a part of me can’t help but to feel bad because I was the reason he got hurt and wasn’t able to play.
Watching Blake for a few minutes as he hits the ice and then moves back to the bench calms me in a way that not a lot of people would understand. But right now, it’s not working.
“I’m thinking about dropping the charges against Elijah,” I tell Chloe, the prickle of tears from earlier coming back up again.
“Oh,” Chloe says, the roar of the crowd stopping her from saying anything else.
The Knights were able to get the puck away from Boston and are currently making their way to the other side of the ice.
Christian passes the puck over to one of the rookies, who passes it over to Liam, who shoots it into the net, adding another point to the board for the Knights.
Both Chloe and I celebrate quietly in our seats.
“What does Blake say?” she asks a few minutes later.
I shake my head at her, keeping my eyes on the game. “I haven’t told him. I should have, especially with everything that he has been dealing with his shoulder, but I don’t want to make it seem like of all that happened for nothing.”
What if he gets mad? He was arrested and spent hours in a jail cell, on top of not being able to play for two weeks. Some reward has to come from that, but I don’t know if I’m mentally capable of going through a whole court proceeding and have it come out in Elijah’s favor.
“Soph, it won’t be for nothing. You were able to find the courage to walk away from him and now, you and Blake are together. That’s not for nothing. Unless…” she says, pausing for a second before starting back up. “You and Blake are together now, right?”
I take my eyes away from the ice and turn to my friend, giving her a small smile. “Yeah, we are together.”
“Then a lot of good has come out of this situation. Pressing charges against someone is hard thing to do, it can take a mental toll on you. So, if you decided to drop those charges, because it’s what’s best for you mentally, nobody is going to judge you for that. We will all be in your corner, supporting you no matter what.” Chloe gives me a reassuring squeeze to drive her words.
My eyes move back to the ice where I find that Blake has made it off the bench again and is trying to take the puck away from the Boston forward.
I keep my eyes on Blake as I ask my next question. One that has been on my mind since that morning at the police station.
“What if he does it again? What if Elijah gets with someone else and gets more violent with them? What if I drop the charges and that happens? People are going to look at me and hate me for not preventing it from happening it again. They could look at it as I had my shot, but I didn’t do everything that I could to put him behind bars, no matter the length of the sentence.”
The crowd sounds out again, but this time in boos as Logan lands himself in the bin for roughness.
We really shouldn’t be having this conversation at a hockey game, even less while we sit in the stands, but at this point I really don’t care. I need to talk to someone.
I would talk to Blake about all of this, but we’ve been a bubble filled with love and happiness since we got back from San Francisco, I don’t want to take that way. But I’m going to have to do it. He needs to know what’s going on in my mind when it comes to Elijah and I can’t keep up the act that it doesn’t affect me.
