Page 86 of Hitting the Goal Line
Just thinking about it is pissing me off.
And apparently it’s enough for people to notice because Jainie comes over to me and pinches my cheeks.
“Ah, why do you look all sad, Blakie?” she asks, giving me a cutesy voice that you would give a puppy.
“I’m not sad,” I say, swatting her hand away.
“Sure, you aren’t.” Jainie lets out a snort and gives me an eye roll, before taking a look around the suite that we are currently in at the Gold’s stadium.
We’re currently about twenty minutes away from kickoff. It may be a Christmas Day game, but not only is the suite packed with my brother’s friends and family, the whole stadium is packed, not a single empty seat anywhere.
I guess I’m not the only one here today hoping that the Gold beat Baltimore today.
“Lennie,” Jainie calls out, waving over her over from where she is talking to her best friend, Jennifer. Both women look over at us and walk over. “Does he not look sad to you?”
Both Selena and Jennifer look from my sister to me and within a second, they both look at me like they want to give me their condolences for my puppy dying or something.
Selena cringes a little before she says anything. “He does.”
“Yeah, why are you all mopey, little Jacobi? It’s Christmas. Why aren’t you all happy and cheery like a little elf?” Jen says, using almost the same voice that my sister did.
I roll my eyes at all three of them.
“I’m not sad,” I say to them, trying to nail it through their heads.
All three women look at me like they don’t believe me, and it takes just a few seconds of getting that look from the three of them, for me to let out a sigh.
“I’m not sad,” I say, telling the truth. “I’m pissed off than anything else, but not sad.”
“Let me guess, girl problems?” Jen asked, a slight smirk on her face, all the while my sister and Selena look at each other, both of their facial expressions going from teasing to sad.
I guess I’m not the one looking sad now.
Yesterday, I had more than a few drinks flowing through my body as we celebrated Christmas Eve with Selena’s family and the alcohol may have caused my mouth to start talking. I may not have told them two and my brother about my feelings regarding Sophia, but I did tell them how I hated that it felt like I was losing my best friend. How I hated that I wasn’t seeing her as much, or that we are solely communicating through text.
They let me talk until I couldn’t anymore.
So by me telling them that my anger from yesterday in carrying over into today, they understand and are going to be careful with what they say. Jen wasn’t there, so she isn’t going to be, which I appreciate, but I don’t know if I can take it right now.
That doesn’t stop me from giving her a small smile. “Something like that.”
“She’ll come around eventually. Have faith,” Jen says, patting me on the shoulder.
Have faith.
I’ve been having faith since I was fifteen and look where it has gotten me.
“Yeah, I’m not sure that faith is going to help,” I say, still with a smile on my face. I’m about to make a joke when my phone goes off.
Without thinking, I pull it out and check the caller ID.
I was expecting a call from Logan or maybe even Christian to ask me what time I’m flying back to Chicago since he is also in California, but it isn’t.
It’s Sophia.
For a quick second, I think about ignoring her call, to let her feel a bit of what I’m feeling, but I think against it.
No matter what, I really want to hear her voice right now.
