Page 33 of Hitting the Goal Line
We made out, touched each other’s bodies, we kissed like it was our first and last makeout session, and we had sex.
I saw my best friend naked and he saw me naked. And he slid not only his fingers and tongue into me, but also his dick.
I had sex with Blake Jacobi and I have no idea how to feel about that.
Last night was something that is definitely going to stay with me for a long time and I mean that in a good way. He made me feel all types of things, and as much as I want to regret the actual action of it, I don’t. Blake put in the effort of my making our first times feel special.
What I do regret is everything that comes after it.
I have no idea where we stand right now. Even though he promised me that us getting together wasn’t going to ruin us, it feels like it did. Even if it’s just a small bit, it definitely did something to our friendship. What, I’m not exactly sure.
It’s not like he’s here for me to ask him.
Since I hear the shower running, I know he’s still inside the house, but not here next to me.
I have so many questions, that I have half a mind to want to get out of bed and run into the bathroom just to get answers.
Are we still friends?
Are we more?
Are we nothing at all?
Whatever those answer may be, I know we absolutely need to talk about this, and no way are we going to be able to sweep this under the rug.
I hear the shower turn off, so I decide that it’s best to get out of bed and get dressed. As much as I want to have his eyes roaming my naked body again, I don’t know how much good that would do, especially if we are going to talk. So covering up is for the best.
I’m sitting up on my bed, wrapped up in my blanket and wearing one his hockey t-shirts that I took from one day after swimming, as he walks in. His hair is wet but he is completely dressed in a pair of sweats and a t-shirt.
He spends so much time here, that my parents let him leave clothes in our extra bedroom. There have been a handful of times where he has come over for dinner after hockey practice and ended up showering here. So it made sense to give him a place to leave clothes. That’s where he must have gotten what he is wearing now.
Blake walks in the room and look over at me, giving me a small smile. “Hey.”
“Hi,” I say, my voice small.
I’m not really sure how I should be acting right about now.
He lets out a sigh and walks over to take a seat on the edge of the bed. I take in his profile as he sits with his elbows on his knees, not saying anything, and that’s when I notice that not only is his face bruised from the fight, but that he also has a hickey on his neck. A hickey that I put there.
Great.
Now we have to figure out a way to hide the bruises but also the damn hickey.
“How are you feeling?” Blake breaks the silence and my hickey filled thoughts start to flow away.
I could lie and tell him that I’m good, that everything is peachy, but I don’t think that I can. So I go with the truth.
“Confused,” I tell him, brining my knees up to my chest and wrapping my arms around them.
He gives me a nod, like he knows exactly how I’m feeling.
“Yeah, last night definitely messed with my mind a little bit too,” he says, sounding defeated.
Does he sound defeated because he knows that this is the end of our friendship? I don’t know if I can handle losing him in anycapacity. We’re about to enter the college chapter of our lives, and I don’t know if I can do that alone. I want him at my side.
As much as I want the answer to that question, I need an answer to a different one. “Do you regret what we did?”
He looks over at me, his eyebrows bunching up at my question and his eyes searching mine. Eventually, he shakes his head. “No, I don’t. Do you?”
