Page 128 of Hitting the Goal Line
“And why is that? What the fuck is more important than hockey?” Roy screams, anger filling his voice.
Blake doesn’t answer him. Not a single word leaves his mouth. No, Blake doesn’t need answers with words, because the direction that Blake shifts his gaze gives Roy the answer he’s looking for.
For a few seconds, Blake looks over at me and silently tells me that I’m more important than hockey will ever be.
Roy scoffs. “Of course. I should have known. Of course, this was about a damn girl.”
“Roy!” Patty yells out.
“I would watch your fucking mouth if I was you,” My dad says at the same time.
“A damn girl,” Blake repeats his father’s words. “A damn girl,” he repeats again, this time shaking his head just as he steps out from behind Hunter and in front of his dad, coming toe to toe, their nose almost touching. Both men stand at over six feet two, but in this moment Blake looks ten times bigger.
Blake pokes a finger into his father’s chest, as if he were provoking the bear.
“Sophia is more than just a damn girl. If you were more involved in my life, you would fucking know that. You would fucking know that she’s been the most important piece of my life since I was five years old. If you were more fucking involved, you would fucking know that she’s a hell of a lot more important than hockey. That if the choice presented itself, I would choose her a thousand times over. You want to know why? Want to know why I would choose her over a damn sport? Because she’s been there through everything. Every tryout, every injury, every win and every loss, every fucking team, she has been there for me. She was even there for me when you decided to choose Hunter over me and Jainie.
“At ten years old, she was there, hugging me as tight as she could while you and mom fought about Hunter going to live with you, telling me that she will always be by my side, hockey, or no hockey. Sophia has been there through fucking everything! You want to know what I was thinking yesterday? Want to know what was going through my head as I walked into that hotel? I was thinking that the woman that I love, that the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with, was going through something that nobody shouldn’t. That she was scared and I needed to do everything and anything to get her out of there. To fucking protect her. I was thinking that if I didn’t do anything, I was going to fucking lose her forever. That that fucker was going to take her away from me. That was what was going through my head. Not hockey, not my career. Her. I was thinking about her,because I fucking love her and if I lose her, I won’t know what to do with myself.
“But you wouldn’t know that because you never cared enough. You only started to care when I became serious about hockey and started talking about possibly entering the draft. You don’t even give a flying fuck about my life, because if you did, you would be more worried about Sophia than my fucking career. You just care about the fact that I might lose my contract and you won’t have anything to brag to your damn buddies about. That you will lose those season tickets and that fancy box that you love so much.”
“That’s not fucking true.” Roy lets out, his hands forming fists.
“It is, because if it wasn’t, you wouldn’t be here lecturing me for getting fucking arrested. You’d be telling that I did the right thing, that you’d do the same, but you don’t give a shit. You only care about what my career can bring to you, nothing else. If you fucking cared, you would have been there. You would have been there for every game, from when I was five to now, but you weren’t.” Blake yells out, tears running down his face as he does.
Years of anger, of frustration toward his dad is finally coming out.
I stand up from the couch to go over to him, to comfort him, to be by his side, to do something, anything, but both Patty and Hunter shake their heads in my direction, stopping me.
He needs to do this. He’s been holding on to this for years and this is finally the time to let it out.
“Blake, I’ve been there-” Roy starts but he’s interrupted by his son.
“No, you haven’t. You weren’t the one that taught me how to get a better handle of my stick or how to tie my skates properly. You weren’t the one that would wake me up at five in the morning, before school, so that I can get more ice time. Youweren’t the one that took time out of their day while I was in college to do sessions with me so that I can feel ready to sign my first contract. You weren’t there for me to talk about girls or give me the damn sex talk. You weren’t there to put your hand on my shoulder while I waited to get drafted,” Blake says to Roy, and automatically my eyes shift to my dad.
Those were things that my dad did. Things that my dad has been a part of.
I always joked that Blake was my parents second child, but in a way, he was.
“You were never there. Those were all things that Isaac did, and when I got older Hunter was there for me too, but never you. You were never there for me, so don’t say that you were. Financially, sure, but physically or even fucking mentally. Never.”
As soon as the last few words leave Blake’s mouth, the room gets enveloped in silence. Silence and tension.
I look around, and not only does the majority of the room have tears in their eyes, but it also seems like everyone is holding their breath waiting for something else to happen. Another screaming match. Maybe somebody throwing a punch.
Blake is the one that eventually breaks the silence by letting out a sigh and standing down. He keeps his eyes on his dad as he backs away, but breaks the stare down when he reaches me, and turns his gaze to mine.
His icy blue eyes are filled with turmoil and tears and I just want to take every single bit of it away. I reach up with both of hands and start wiping his tears away, wishing that I can do more.
In this moment, it’s just the two of us. Nobody else is in the room.
And it stays that way for a minute or two, until our little bubble is broken.
“I think maybe you should go, Roy,” my dad suggests, most likely so that nobody else will have to.
“You don’t get to kick me out. This is my son’s house, not yours.” Roy says, with bite still in his tone but not as much as there was earlier. This whole thing must have taken a huge toll on him too.
“Mr. Martinez is right, dad. You should probably go,” Hunter says, letting out a sigh.
