Page 79 of Passing the Red Line
I guess I have my answer to the question I asked myself last night. This is what Kalen is going to do. If things don’t go his way, he’s going to pull out the picture card and go about his day.
“You wouldn’t fucking dare,” I say through my teeth, keeping my voice low so that the other girls that are packing up the space don’t hear.
“Maybe I would. That way people would get the chance to see the body you had before. You know, the body that gave its virginity to me.”
Tears start to prick at the back of my eyes and a lump starts to form in my throat.
The Kalen I first met when I was seventeen, was sweet and kind. That person is so far away from the one that is standing in front of me.
I thought the worst he would do was release the pictures. Never did I think to take into consideration the words that would be said about me once the pictures would get out.
I have never been self conscious about my body. Never did I see a picture of myself as a teenager and wish that I was that weight again. I’ve never seen anything wrong with having a bigger butt, more meat on my thighs or even a bigger stomach. And I absolutely love the fact that I’m with a man that appreciates every single inch of me. Christian treats my body as a temple and does make me think about losing weight to fit into the typical WAG standard.
But right now, all of that is waning. And I hate it so much.
Somehow I’m able to find my voice, even if all I want to do is just crawl in a hole to escape Kalen and his threats.
“Do it,” I say, the prickling behind my eyes intensifying. “See what happens.”
I’m saying these words trying to show that I’m stronger than he thinks I am but I’m breaking on the inside.
Kalen lets out a laugh. “Maybe I will. I got traded to the Knights. I wonder what else I can get.”
He gives me a sadistic smirk before turning his back to me and leaving the room.
The second I no longer see him, I feel like I’m able to breathe again.
Last week I was excited about what this season was going bring to me, but right now I’m dreading it and it’s all Kalen’s fault
Feeling the need to get out of here, so I don’t have to see him again today, I dismiss the girls that are still in the room, telling them to head back to the office and I pack up my things.
I’m not prone to panic attacks but I feel like I’m about to have one. I frantically throw everything in my bag and close up the room before I start running toward the first exit I can find.
As I run, I try to tell myself that Kalen is just talking out of his ass. That he is just trying to rile me up and will never do anything. But he got traded, he’s here and he did that by using the photos in an indirect way. What is my life going to look like if he does it directly?
I don’t want to think about it or even know.
I run through the tunnels of the arena until I’m in the players area. I thought I was running to the outside of the arena, but for some reason my brain brought me here for some unknown reason.
You know why.
I was telling my body to run as far away from this place as possible but my brain was saying to run toward the one person that would make everything better. The person that would hold me but also go after Kalen and make him pay for what he is doing.
The one person that has made me feel safe and loved in a way that nobody else has since my mom died.
I look for him in the open locker room, in the kitchen and gym but he’s not in any of those.
Did he go home?
Maybe he did and I should head that way too, but I don’t. I just keep frantically looking for him.
The ice.
He could still be here and on the ice. He mentioned a few days ago how he likes staying after morning workouts are over and enjoy the ice all by himself a little bit before coming back the next morning and working.
So I run in that direction.
Thankfully the arena is almost empty, except for a few lone equipment assistants, so I’m not bumping into anyone.
