Page 64 of Passing the Red Line
Eliana
It became impossible.
In the two months since we met, it has become nearly impossible for me to hate Christian. He bulldozed into my life in the most unexpected way and as more days pass by I can’t help but be glad that he did.
At the end of June, I thought I was living my best life. I had signed with the Dark Knights as the team photographer, I had a summer assignment that would keep me out of Chicago until I absolutely had to, and I was taking in as much done as I could while enjoying my time by the beach.
I didn’t expect that I would cross paths with a hockey player, get on his bad side and then end up in his head only a week or two later. I was supposed to hate him, I was supposed to hate every single thing about the man and since I already hated his profession, I wouldn’t have been that hard.
But it was.
Christian showed me a side to him that I didn’t expect. A side that sang to my body and soul. He made me laugh, showed me he cared with his comfort, and made me feel worthy of everything that life has to offer. He has made me feel special in a way that nobody else has.
He’s made me feel beautiful like nobody else has too. It’s in the way he looks at me, in how he smiles at me, at how he kisses me and touches me. Every little thing that he does, makes me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world.
That’s why he’s made it nearly impossible for me to garner any hate towards him. He made it that way. He made it nearly impossible for me not to start developing feelings for him. He made it impossible to not start falling for him. To not want to spend every single waking moment with him.
And now that we are in Chicago, about to move in together, it’s going to be even harder.
I’m going to be around him all the time. At home, at work. He will be everywhere I am and I know that I feel toward him will just continue to grow stronger, until I fall so deep there will be no way out.
I should hate him for that alone, but I don’t. I love it too much.
We made our way to Chicago, leaving the beach properly fucked as Christian put is, two days ago. Christian came to the city with a single duffle bag and left everything else in California. Me on the other hand, I came to Chicago with my whole life in suitcases. Since I travel so much for work, or at least keep myself traveling, I tend to move with everything that I own. And only stay in places that let me rent out an apartment or a house that is month to month.
I have some stuff at my dad’s house, minimal but some, and some at the childhood that my mom left me after she died. That stuff, though, is mostly things that have sentimental value or equipment that I don’t gravitate towards very often.
Now that I’m moving in with Christian, all of my things are going to be in one location, which will be nice. It will also be nice to have an actual home for once and not have to move everything every few months every time I get a new assignment or a travel bug hits me.
Who knew that breaking into a hockey player’s house would be a blessing in disguise.
Right, I’m currently trying to organize all my gear in the spare room that Christian told me that I can take over. And well, it’s not going well.
I have so much shit. Who knew that camara equipment could look organized in suitcases and camera bags but out of it, it's a chaotic mess. I even found a lens that I thought I had lost months ago at the bottom of a duffle bag.
I’ve been at it for three hours while Christian is at Liam’s house fulfilling some bet and I honestly don’t see an end in sight.
Looking around, I’m now thinking I should have accepted my boyfriend's invitation and gone with him.
“No, I have to do this. Once I’m done, I will be officially moved in,” I say to myself, trying to convince myself to continue with putting things on the shelves and racks Christian put up for me yesterday.
But there is so much stuff.
I should really downsize all my equipment. Especially since the Knights will be supplying more. I didn’t know it was part of my contract, but I learned last week that the team will be providing all new equipment on top of a team of photographers that will work under me to bring everything the team does to life.
Maybe I should do that instead of putting things in a certain spot. I might be able to find a program that accepts donations like this. Maybe an at risk youth program that has kids interested in photography.
Deciding to see what things I can donate instead, I grab a box from the piles and start to fill it. I get about two things into the box, before I’m getting pulled away by my phone ringing.
Dread starts to fill my body.
Ever since that night a few weeks ago, I’ve been panicking every time my phone rings. I keep thinking that it will be Kalen calling to tell me that he released the pictures.
His number is still blocked but because I haven’t been answering unknown calls ever since I last spoke to him, I have no idea if he has called. But I’m waiting for the day that I don’t answer my phone and there is a voicemail from him waiting for me where he tells me what he did.
I’m already dreading that day if it ever even comes.
Shaking my head, telling myself that it isn’t Kalen, I grab my phone from where it sits on a box.
