Page 61 of Skating the Blue Line
“Look at you,” Betty exclaims as soon as I walk into our shared dressing room. “You look like you’re glowing.”
I can’t help but beam at her, the smile on my face growing even more. “I feel really good today.”
“No more morning sickness?” she asks, raising an eyebrow in my direction.
I hold in a groan.
I’ve been excited about a lot of things these last two months. Morning sickness though has not been one of them.
The nausea hit me hard. Every little thing made me want to puke. No matter the smell or the taste, something always makes me nauseous.
Liam has even made sure to tell me that he has showered the few times that I have seen him so that I don’t gag just thinking about smelling his sweat again.
There was a week or two where I was just living off sourdough bread and apple juice. It also didn’t help that I spent most of my days twirling and dancing around a stage.
It was bad. Really bad.
These last three days though, I haven’t smelled or tasted anything that had my stomach turning, so I see that as a good sign. I did wake up a little light headed this morning, but as soon as I ate something, it went away.
“Not in a few days.” I say, silently hoping that it stays that way.
“You’re sixteen weeks right?” Betty asks, and I give her a nod. “It’s probably starting to fade.”
“It better. I’m tired of not being able to look at food without wanting to throw it across the room.” I shudder just thinking about looking at a hot dog again.
“I hate morning sickness so much, it makes me not want to get pregnant ever again.” Betty chimes right before slamming her pointe shoes against the floor.
“Trust me, I’ve thought about that too.” I say to her grabbing my makeup bag.
One thing that sucks about doing ballet is all the work that you need to do for your shoes to fit and look properly.
Not only do you have to break them in, but if you have a darker skin tone like I do, you have to douse them in makeup in order to get them the right color.
And you have to do it to every single pair.
So while Betty breaks in her shoes, I cake mine to be at least a decent color.
Thank god I thought to glue and sewed the box of my shoes last night otherwise I will be here all of rehearsal.
“How are things going with you and Liam?” Betty asks as soon as she is done slamming her shoes against the floor.
“Okay, I guess. Nothing new.” I say, giving her a shrug.
“I still can’t believe that you friend zone a professional hockey player,” she says, giving me a shake of her head. She’s teasing me, I know but that still doesn’t stop me from still feeling bad about my decision.
“We have other things to concentrate on right now. I have to spend the next five months thinking how to be a good mom, not how to be a good girlfriend.” I say, and by the way Betty looks up at me, I know there’s a bite to my tone.
“You’re right. I’m sorry, I brought it up,” she says, giving me a smile and holding up her shoes in surrender.
I let out a sigh. “Do you think I shouldn’t have friend zoned him?”
This is something that has been nagging inside my mind for a while.
Should we give a relationship a try?
It’s not like we were doing so before all of this, but maybe us being together would be good for the baby.
But then wouldn’t it be that we are only together for the baby and the baby alone.
