Page 106 of Skating the Blue Line
I don’t want my daughter to start off life with a heartbroken mother.
Loving Liam wouldn’t be hard. Hell I’m basically there already. So I can see myself spending four weeks falling even harder for him and then getting ripped away.
I can’t do that to myself.
“We can’t go back though.” I say, letting the tears roll out.
Liam’s posture doesn’t change. If anything he gets a lot more rigid.
Our gazes lock for what feels like an eternity with Liam eventually breaking it.
Without a word, he leaves the apartment, the door slamming behind him.
I don’t run behind him. I just sit there and let yet another sob and cry into my daughter's clothes.
I was feeling lonely earlier, but this is on a whole different level.
27
LIAM
I shouldn’t have walkedout. I shouldn’t have left her while she was crying. I shouldn’t have raised my voice at her.
I should have stayed and talked everything through but I didn’t.
I was so damn pissed that I needed to leave before I said something that I was going to regret.
After everything that I told her, after telling her time and time again, she was more than just the baby’s mother, she still doesn’t believe me.
I don’t know how many other ways I can say the same words to finally get it through her head. That I want to be with her because of who she is, and not because she’s a mother of my child.
I know we’re not together. I know that we never made anything official after spending a whole damn month in the same bed. It might be my own fault for not broaching the subject sooner, but it fucking hurts hearing the woman that owns your whole damn heart tell you that she doesn’t believe you. It hurts that she hears all the proclamations about your feelings toward her, yet she still thinks that in four weeks she’ll mean nothing.
Chloe can never mean nothing, because she’s fucking everything to me. She’s more than just the mother of my child, she’s more than just a roommate, more than just a one night stand. She is so much fucking more to me and she doesn’t see it.
I’ve been falling in love with this woman for the past six months and she doesn’t see it.
This may be such a petty thing to get pissed off about, but I don’t give a shit anymore.
I want her but she doesn’t want me.
I should walk away, I should walk away. I should put everything that has happened between us behind me and walk away so we can concentrate on raising our daughter together.
That’s what I should do and maybe eventually I will be able to but for right now, the woman that I met eight months ago owns too much of my heart to walk away from her. Maybe with time. A lot of fucking time.
Right now, I’ll drink my body weight in alcohol and worry about the consequences tomorrow morning when I hit the ice.
“You want another one, Cap?” The bartender asks, knifing a knuckle against the bar.
“Yeah,” I say, giving him a small nod.
“Celebrating something?” he asks as he pours some whiskey into my tumbler.
I shake my head. “Not tonight.”
“I hear the knights are getting new owners soon.” The guy says, trying to make conversation.
Most nights I will go along with it but tonight I’m not feeling it.
