Page 167 of Girls Will Be Girls
Right now, I know that I need him back with me, back in my bed, back in my life. I want him all over my life, inhabiting every part of it. I feel like I could be consumed by him entirely, and it still wouldn’t be enough. I will never get enough of him.
It sounds eerily similar to love.
Putting the finishing touches on my last Tahoe article is definitely not helping me take my mind off of him. He’s all over every word.
“Hey, girl.” Evelyn walks over to my desk. “You have two minutes?”
“Sure.” I smile, grabbing my laptop, notebook, and following her to her office.
Before I’ve even shut the door, Evelyn starts talking.
“I looooved the final draft of the pottery one.” She beams. “It was so fun!”
“Aw, yay!” I say. “Thank you.”
“You just have one left, yeah?”
“Yep.” I nod. “Finishing up the bar dancing, but for cardio one.”
She laughs. “You’re a genius.” She leans across her desk. “So, I wanted to do next assignments, and I’m thinking about the pastry tour you did — which was adorable by the way — could you do something like that but for well-being activities in the city?”
“Oh,” I say. “Um, sure. That sounds fun.” I use my default response, but it feels sour in my mouth.
I’ve been hinting at what I really want for years, putting in the work to prove I’m good enough, but I’ve never just come right out and said it. I’ve never been able to ask for what I want, always too scared of rejection or of it not fitting into someone else’s plan.
But what aboutmyplan?
I’m never going to get the life I want until I’m able to ask for it.
“Actually, Evelyn,” I say. “Can I talk to you about something?”
I echo the same words I said to Lou yesterday when I asked for what I wanted.
When I got exactly what I wanted.
That gives me the extra boost of strength to get the next question out.
“Would you consider moving me over to trends when there’s an opening?”
“Trends?” She asks, genuinely looking shocked. “I thought you loved the travel and wellbeing beat?”
“I do. Well, I love parts of it.” I say, staying strong. “I actually have never been a big fan of the exercise part of it.”
Her mouth forms an ‘O’ but no words come out.
“I’ve grown to enjoy it more and more, and I’ve found parts of it I love, and I’m so grateful for all the opportunities I’ve had because of it, but my dream is trends. I would love to be considered for that one day, when you think it’s possible.”
“I had no idea.” She says.
“I should’ve told you earlier,” I say. “I’m learning how to ask for what I want, and this is what I want.”
“Here I thought I could read people really well.” She laughs to herself. “Of course, you can move to trends. If I’d known you didn’t like where you were, I would’ve moved you!”
“Oh.” I let out a nervous laugh. “Really?”
“Of course!” She beams. “You’re an amazing writer, Louisa. I want you to write what you want to write. I want to keep you atLureforever, so if trends is your dream, then trends is what you will get.”
I sit there with my mouth gaping open, my voice stuttering as I can’t form words.
