Page 69 of The Bloodfeather Promise
My arms are full. A beach bag, my chair, and a small cooler are juggled as I tread the brick pathway. I’m not paying attention to the fact the little lamp beside the swing is on. Stepping up onto the porch, I fumble with my bag, setting the beach chair down as I try locating my house keys. They are obviously at the bottom. My fingers close around themThere they are…
“Do you need some help?”
I scream.
Not only do I scream, everything I’m holding falls to the floor with a loud clatter. And my keys, well, they are hurled in the direction of the porch swing. They hit someone with a satisfyingthumpand fall to the floor.
“Jesus, Emerson!”
I begin shaking as I realize who is standing on my porch. And my heart pounds as Greyson rushes over, his hands grabbing my elbows to steady me.
“Damnit, I didn’t mean to frighten you. But I guess I deserved that. You got me right in the shoulder with those keys.” He looks like he’s about to pull me into his arms then thinks better of it. “Are you okay?”
Surely, he understands I can’t answer that. Because I’m not okay. I haven’t been okay for more than a month.
“You scared me half to death,” I mutter hoarsely. “What are you doing here?”
A sad smile lifts the corner of his mouth. Hazel green eyes drink me in as if I’m the sun and after a hundred-year eclipse, I’ve finally appeared in his dark, empty world.
“I’ve come to return your book. I finished it.”
If it’s possible, my spirits plummet even further. “Oh. You could have just mailed it.”That sounds pretty cold. I try again. “Or dropped it off at the shop when I wasn’t there.”
Greyson frowns. “But then, I wouldn’t see you. And I wouldn’t be able to tell you how much I miss you.”
“What are you doing, Greyson?” My voice is low. Tortured. I don’t think I can take being played again; my emotions batted around like a mouse between his paws. “You can keep the book. Take it. A gift, if you want to consider it as that. I’m giving it to you. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must go inside.”Where I can cry in peace.
“I can’t. I was careless and lost something very precious. Now, I want it back.”
I look around, but the only item on the porch that is a recent appearance isMansfield Park.It’s on the side table, next to the lamp where he obviously placed it. “What would that be? Because I haven’t seen anything out here that is yours.”
He moves closer.
“You, Emerson. Don’t you know you are mine? As much as I am yours?” With an index finger, he tips my chin, staring intently into my eyes. “God, Emerson. I’ve been miserable without you. My days and nights are empty, and I find no happiness in anything that once gave me pleasure. Do you know why that is?” I shake my head, and he continues, his voice so soft and soothing, I let him in without even being aware my defenses have lowered. “Because my heart is no longer inside this body of mine. I cannot ever call it my own because you have it. Oh, sweetheart, you gotta put me out of my misery. Forgive me for being stupid. For being an asshole. Forgive me for being an addict and not thanking you for the special gift you gave me so many months ago. If I could go back, change that fateful night, I would. I would have never hurt you.”
I can’t say a word. I’m in shock and my pulse races crazily. I don’t understand what is happening, my mind skipping to other details punctuating this moment. My swimsuit coverup is sticking to the small of my back where perspiration has gathered. My feet and sandals are dusted with beach sand, and my hair is escaping the ponytail I have it pulled up in. For God’s sake, I’m not even wearing makeup. I smell like suntan lotion and salt air. Like Noah’s beer I insisted on drinking. Even though I hate beer.
Greyson, on the other hand, while hot as ever in a black button-up with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, a pair of black jeans, and his beloved black Converse, looks tired. There are dark circles under his eyes.He’s not getting enough rest.And his hair is longer, more like the shaggy, beautiful mess I remember from so long ago.
“I hurt you the morning you left my house. I didn’t know what else to do other than lash out. I was hurting, and I wanted to hurt you, too. But I was wrong, so wrong. I should have listened to your side of things. Should have understood the position I put you in with my selfishness. And I’m so sorry for all of it.” He laughs a little, running a hand through his hair in exasperation. “Damn, you’d think I would be better at this, being a songwriter. I’m supposed to have all the right words.”
His palm cups my jawline, and I fight not to nuzzle into its warmth. “Emerson, I love you.I love you.For who you are, and how you make me want to be a better person. Because you put crab legs on the ends of your fingers and make me laugh. I love you because you listen to me, even when I have nothing of value to say. Because you stand up to me when I make mistakes. And I love you because you are the missing piece of my soul. I’m lost without you. I’ve been looking for you since that morning in Hollywood, even though I didn’t realize it. Please, please come back to me. Let me make a new memory for you. For both of us. Because I don’t want to be Henry Crawford in our story… I want to be me. Greyson Finch, a man who finds the love of his life. A man who will do whatever is necessary to prove himself worthy of her.”
“I don’t know what to say. What to do,” I mumble, shell-shocked by his admission. “Except, I know I hurt you, too. I should have explained who I was at the very beginning instead of hiding it from you. Instead of rushing out of your life like a scared, little girl, I should have confronted you for treating me that way. And, I should have trusted you to have an explanation. I’m sorry, Greyson.”
“There is an explanation, you know. It took Jack to clear it up. I was talking to him that morning on the phone. He was on his way to my room, and I apparently told him he’d better not dare. I think, in my own way, I was protecting you. From the embarrassment of being discovered in my bed. Jack admitted he begged you to go with me. He thought you would be able to calm me, get my mind off the fight with Dylan. Off the drugs for a night. He was coming to check onyouthat morning. But since you were already gone, and I refused to discuss you, he decided it was a point not worth pursuing, especially with the state I was in.”
“I would not have been embarrassed. If I had known you wanted me to stay, I would have. They would have had to drag me out of your room, out of your arms.” I want to cry and laugh. It is my smile that wins out.
Greyson Finch loves me. As much as I love him.
Greyson chuckles softly and draws me closer, while at the same time, pulling something from his pocket. “I have something for you. Well, two things, actually. I needed to give it to you personally, although I did worry you might not welcome me with open arms. In fact, I was worried you would either call the police if I showed up here, or you would toss me out on my ass into the street.”
His hand opens, and there in the palm is the blue topaz bird pendant my grandfather gave me. It’s even still on the same chain.
My eyes water with shock. I can’t believe he’s had it this whole time. “Where did you find it?” I choke out.
Greyson places it around my neck. Its cool weight settles into the hollow of my throat as if coming home to nest.
