Page 67 of The Bloodfeather Promise
“Alright, I’ll start.” Dylan sighs, and I open one eye in disbelief. I know that tone he’s using. He’s dead serious. “This is what I was trying to tell you last night. I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry I fell in love with Jessica. I didn’t realize how wrong we were together until it was too late, didn’t realize how she was capable of using us. We let things get to us, man, you know? We should have never shared her like we did, never jeopardized our friendship like that. Most of all, I’m sorry for not telling you sooner when I knew what was going on between her and Alex.”
I think about what Emerson said when she left. How I needed to forgive Dylan. How he lost me, Jessica and Alex. I feel regret swell inside me. Rolling upright, I clasp my head in my hands. My voice quivers. It sounds so strange to my own ears as I admit the truth. “Alex took advantage of us. I let that happen.”
Dylan doesn’t agree or disagree. He simply lays his hand on my shoulder.
It sits there for a long moment. Burning me. Cleansing me. Then he pulls me in tight for a brotherly embrace I’ve not realized I’ve missed until this moment. My voice breaks up. My cheeks are wet, and I let go of my anger. My sorrow. My regrets. For Alex. For me. For Dylan. For our friends. For my family. For Emerson. Even Jessica. “I’m sorry, Dylan. Goddamn, for everything. My selfishness. My stupidity. My blindness. My hatred and jealousy.”
“Mistakes, dude. We’ve both made them. We gotta learn from them.” Dylan leans back, the expression on his face so grim, it almost frightens me. He continues, “We learned from this one. The hard way. The next lesson could be even more difficult. Fuck, Grey, don’t make a bigger mistake. Don’t let Emerson get away. Don’t let her slip through your fingers like you did in California. I gotta tell you, man, when I walked in here the other day, saw the two of you together, I was shocked. I thought Jack told you how to find her. Then, I realized he wouldn’t do that without warning me first.”
“What are you talking about?” I feel somewhat numb. I don’t understand what my best friend is saying. It’s like he’s speaking a foreign language.
“Jack has known along who Emerson was. Where she was. Do you think he lets random girls go to our rooms with us? Hell, no. He gets their details first. Usually, it doesn’t matter with you. You never let them stay longer than an hour or two, but Emerson was different. He practically begged her to go with you that night. You were so fascinated with her, he thought she would distract you. That she would be good for you. But, the next morning, she was gone. And you never asked about her, so he figured you had gotten her out of your system. He confessed to me one night, not long after you’d left for Bali. How he had hoped you might want that one girl enough to do something different.”
“Did you know she was here in Sea Cove?”
“Nah, man. All I knew was her name. And that Jack knew all about her. I swear to God.”
My head is about to explode. Whether from the alcohol, or from this revelation, I’m unsure. There was a way I could have found my mystery girl all this time. While I was searching for her, snorting and drinking my unhappy way to a hazy world of oblivion, I could have had my Emerson. Although, she wouldn’t have stayed with me, as messed up as I was. I wouldn’t have blamed her, either. I would have destroyed her. Killed that bright light in her eyes.
I could have her now. If I could forgive myself for being unworthy of her.
“She doesn’t want me,” I mumble.
Dylan’s head cocks to the side. “She doesn’t want Greyson Finch, that’s true. She wantsyou,Grey. Don’t be a fool. Don’t lose her again. You two…you two need each other.”
