Page 47 of Mail-Order Bride Secret
“I’ll get dressed.” She hurried to the bedroom where she paused to take stock of her situation. Wally wanted to forget the past and enjoy what they had. The idea suited her just fine. He hadn’t rejected her for not being married. That was good enough for her. Shesaw no reason to make the story worse. Some details were best buried and left to rot.
A clean dress on, her hair brushed into submission, she returned to the kitchen. Someone had provided food for breakfast. Her stomach growled a demanding reminder of the many missed meals and she helped herself to the biscuits, bacon, and hardboiled eggs before she changed Jonathan’s clothes.
“You’re such a good little boy.” She’d never do or say anything that would mar his acceptance and ruin his chances for a happy life.
Breathing in a mixture of feelings—reluctance to face Otis’s continued struggle—eagerness to assure herself that Wally welcomed her after her confession—she returned to the sickroom.
Wally knelt by Otis’s bed. His lips moved silently.
Maddie stood back, watching, letting his faith fill her with hope. Gulping in courage that he seemed to think she possessed, she edged forward and placed her fingers on his shoulder.
He lifted a hand to cover hers then turned and rose, pulling her to his chest. He pressed his chin to her head. “The boy is a fighter.”
Maddie shuddered. Was he saying he was surprised Otis was still alive? She clenched the warm fabric of Wally’s shirt and leaned into him, breathing in a strength that came from his faith.
They held each other a moment longer than shedipped a cloth into the cold water and sponged Otis. She might have bargained with God. Promised to tell the whole truth if Otis got better…promised to read the Bible, memorize verses, pray every day, be a better person…but she’d tried that route when Delroy had come to her room and again when she found she was going to have a baby and yet again when she was sent from home. After that, she simply gave up. God did not hear her pleas.
Dishes and pots rattled in the kitchen. Wally must be cleaning up the mess that had accumulated over the past few days. The aroma of coffee wafted into the room, renewing her courage. He brought her a steaming cup, Jonathan in his wake carrying a book. The little boy climbed to Ivy’s bed. The two of them looked at the pictures.
Wally took over sponging while Maddie enjoyed the coffee. “This is the first time I’ve had this in…” She shook her head, unable to recall the last time.
“Maybe since I left? When did they get sick?”
“Let’s see. You rode out Monday. I spent the morning doing laundry. I thought Ivy was cross because I scolded her for playing too close to the hot water. Then I believed Otis was cranky because I’d scolded her. But when I took the time to really look at them, I knew they weren’t feeling well. They were fevered. I assumed they had gotten sick like Jonathan had been.” She shrugged, trying to dislodge the weightof guilt. “How could I have missed it?” The words scraped from her throat. “I brought this horrible disease to the ranch. Now Kit and Lindy are going to get it.”
Wally wrapped an icy hand over her clenched fists. “Maddie, you can’t be in control of everything in life.”
“I know that all too well.”
“But God is. And I trust His heart of love.”
“I wish…” Her weary voice trailed off.I wish He’d shown love to me.
“He loves you but unless you accept it you can’t enjoy it.”
The air in the dim room was heavy, making it hard to fill her lungs. Or was it guilt that did that? “Did you think God loved you when your parents died? When you were taken to the orphanage? When—” She recounted some of the horrible stories he’d written about.
“Not at the time. But if those things were necessary to bring me here then I am grateful. The Shannons taught me about God. More than that, they showed me love. They showed me God.”
His eyes were so full of goodness and love that she couldn’t look away. She didn’t want to. At this moment, in the grasp of his gaze, his words echoing in her heart, she wanted to believe as he did. Trusting the love of God.
Realizing how long she stared at him, her thoughtsa drumbeat inside her head, she jerked away. Toward Otis. Guilt clawed up her limbs. How could she waste time discussing anything with Wally when the little boy struggled so hard? She took the neglected cloths, wet them in the cold water, and reapplied them to Otis’s body.
Wally slipped away. Her world narrowed down to the child before her. How much more could he take?God, I know I don’t deserve to have my prayer answered. I’m not asking for me but for him. Please make him better.
It was the first prayer she’d breathed in over a year. The words came naturally from a childhood and youth of praying and trusting. And with them, came hope and a forgotten feeling. Was it peace?
Peace? Was it that simple? Could she trust God to answer her prayer? Could she trust His love?
Wally returned and sat beside her. He touched Otis’s brow. “He’s not as hot. I’m sure of it.”
“Really?” Her hands were icy so she pressed her cheek to Otis’s. Was it possible? She straightened and looked at Wally. “I believe you’re right.” Now instead of burning up, he was only hot. But it was an improvement.
He kissed her forehead. “God is good.”
The feeling of his lips lingered as she turned her attention back to Otis. “He has yet to recover.” Doubt and fear clung to her tone, but she couldn’t help it.
Wally took her hand. “Whatever the Lord brings our way, we will deal with it in His strength.”
