Page 38 of Mail-Order Bride Secret
One ragged breath followed another into Maddie’s lungs and then she sat back. In his letters, he spoke of how he enjoyed church. Seeing the neighbors was one reason but his greatest pleasure came from hearing the word of God explained by Pastor Ingram.
“I’m looking forward to listening to your preacher.” It was her attempt to ease the strain between them that might exist only in her guilt-laden mind.
“You’ll enjoy him. His messages are simple and direct.” He tipped his head toward her. “From your letters, I got the impression you didn’t hear that kind of preaching back in Kellom.”
“Nor in Philadelphia. It seemed to me the sermons were meant to make us realize how uneducated we were. And how educated the clergy was.” She kept her tone light but there’d been times she’d known a long, hungry yearning for something to heal her heart.
“I’m sorry that was your experience. I pray you will hear a message about God that will encourage you.” His hand enfolded hers and lingered. Warm and strong.
Her pulse thudded in time to the clip-clop of the horses, settling into a comforting rhythm.
“I see a deer,” Otis yelled so loud the animal grazing in the nearby grass darted into the trees and out of sight. “Did ya see it? Didcha?”
“We did.” Wally grinned at Maddie. “Briefly.”
They shared a chuckle at how the boy’s enthusiasm had scared the animal away.
A few minutes later, the town came into view. Maddie leaned forward, more interested in the buildings this time. Last time, her thoughts had centered on getting married. Being accepted. Becoming a wife.
She might not have lived up to their agreement in every way, but she would. Tonight. Or soon. Real soon.
All she had to do was push aside her fears about her past experience. Marriage was not like that incident. The midwife who’d delivered Jonathan had been very clear to her that the union between a man and a woman in love was nothing like the violent act she’d been the recipient of.
The cook, a widow herself, had learned the truth about Maddie during one of Maddie’s trembling recalls and had also encouraged her to think along the same lines. “Love and tenderness,” she’d said. “Make life between a man and woman somethin’ special.”
Not that she was in love with Wally. But she respected him. Admired him. Wanted to please him.
They stopped in front of the church. The twins jumped down.
“Wait for us,” she cautioned, handing Jonathan to Wally, and taking his hand to alight.
The Shannons—all eleven of them—waited for them and they filed inside as a unit. The Shannons took up two benches. Wally guided Maddie and the children into a third, behind them.
He seemed to go out of his way to sit close to her. The twins were on her other side and Jonathan on his knee. If she had to guess, she’d say Wally looked mighty pleased with himself as he nodded a greeting to those around them.
Pastor Ingram went to the pulpit. He smiled at Maddie.
They sang four hymns. She was familiar with them all and, loving to sing, joined in with the others.
The preacher opened his Bible. She was drawn to the gentle, reverent way he handled the Good Book. “Today, my text is Jeremiah twenty-nine, verse eleven. ‘For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.’ Dear people, God has said this but do we believe it? Do we trust God to guide us and direct us into peace?”
Maddie looked down at her clasped hands. She’d once believed it. But now? Was what happened to her part of God’s plan? How could she call it good?
The preacher’s voice drew her from her introspection. “Joseph suffered at the hands of his brothers, was misjudged as a slave, and spent years in prison. But at the end of Genesis, he says these incredible words. ‘Ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good.’” He looked across the congregation, his gaze lingering here and there. It stopped at Maddie and rested there a moment.
She held her breath. Had he guessed her secret? Was he going to say something to condemn her?
But his eyes moved on. “I know many of you have had to deal with terrible things. Things that perhaps have made you question God’s goodness and His love. But remember this word of comfort from His word. You’ll find these verses in Romans chapter eight, verses thirty-eight and thirty-nine. ‘For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.’” He closed the Bible gently. “God’s love is eternal. From everlasting to everlasting.” He gave his blessing and the service ended.
Maddie followed Wally to the aisle. She responded to the warm welcome from friends and neighbors that he introduced her to. But a large part of her mind lingered on the sermon. Was it possible thatsomething vile and sinful done by a man could be used for good by God?
Yes, Jonathan was something good. The circumstances of his conception had never once made her love him less.
Marrying Wally was good. So far. But she must continue to live a partial lie in order to ensure he accepted her.
But could she ever say—or believe—that it was good for her? For the depths of her soul?
Her answer was a resounding no. Yet, the preacher’s words had spoken to her. Reminding her of the faith she once enjoyed. Was God calling her back to Himself? Hope ran through her body, rushing through her heart, flowing to her limbs. Could she trust His love over and above the sins of man?
