Page 10 of Mail-Order Bride Secret
“Do you want to say your prayers?”
Otis glowered. Ivy said, “You say them.”
From the depths of his thoughts came words as familiar as the recall of his father’s voice. As soothing as the memory of his mother’s touch.
“Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. May God guard me through the night and wake me with the morning light. Amen.”
He thought of placing a kiss on each forehead before he left. Knew his parents had done that to him but he’d have to give them time. Just as he must do the same with Madeline. He murmured, “Good night,” and slipped from the room, leaving the door ajar.
Madeline faced him as he went back to the kitchen. Had she purposely returned in order to speak to him? Jonny drooped in her arms. “He wouldn’t let me put him down. I’ll try again.” She took a jug of warm water to the nursery and closed the door behind her.
He held back a disappointed sigh. She’d only comefor water. He listened to her croon to the tired baby. All grew quiet. It became painfully clear she didn’t mean to return, and he went to the bedroom he hoped to share with a wife and crawled into bed alone.
He was a patient man. And a praying one.God, please bring us together as a real family.
3
Madeline would not allow herself to be grateful that Jonny’s illness provided an acceptable excuse for not sharing Wally’s bed. Although she admitted it was timely, there was no way she’d be happy that he was miserable. He wailed at being put on the cot.
“Hush, little one. Hush. I’ll be with you in a moment.”
He scrambled down and clung to her leg making it difficult to wash in the basin provided on the washstand. She held him aside, momentarily ignoring his demands as she pulled a nightgown from her traveling bag and slipped into it.
Done her preparations for the night, she scooped him up and rocked him against her shoulder.
“You might feel better if you closed your eyes and went to sleep.”
“No sleep.” He clung to her neck.
They were both worn out from the long day and his unhappiness, and she settled on the bed with him between her and the wall. He struggled to get up. She patted his back and hummed.
He finally slept. Despite her exhaustion, she couldn’t relax. She studied the walls around her that were draped in the weak moonlight. This was her new home. One she’d been anticipating for weeks. She’d planned how she would greet Wally—warmly, not with sudden fear. She’d thought of meals she’d make to share with him and the discussions they’d have at the table. Even the evening hours had been filled in her imagination with reading things aloud to each other.
Instead, her past had reared its ugly head.
Tomorrow would be better. Now she’d know to expect those memories and she would push them back into oblivion as she had done for more than two years.
She jerked awake in a sweat, battling against the weight of the covers. Her arms were trapped at her sides. She fought to free them but it only increased the pressure. Dread and fear crawled up her throat and strangled her. Her heart raced, pounding at her ribs. She couldn’t get in air.Help. Her cry—be it only in her dream or real—brought her fully awake. She struggled from the bed to bend over her knees and force in a slow breath. And another. And another. Until her panic subsided.
She’d not expected memories of that awful day to be so overwhelming.
Her sudden movements had wakened Jonny and he cried. Not the fussy cry of earlier but the high-pitch sound of distress. She pulled him into her arms. He was burning up. His sour breath informed her he had a sore throat. He grabbed at his ear.
“Poor baby. You have an earache.” She rocked him. She walked back and forth across the floor. She crooned. Jonny would not settle. His wails were going to waken the whole household. Or at least Wally.
As if summoned by her thoughts, he knocked on the door connecting the two rooms. “Can I do anything? Get him something?”
“I don’t know. He’s fevered, got a sore throat and an earache.”
“I’ll warm some oil.”
“Thank you.” She put Jonny on the bed while she donned a wrapper before she carried him to the kitchen where Wally stirred the fire. He heated a spoonful of oil over the steam from the kettle.
“It’s ready.”
She tipped him to the side and Wally brought the warmed oil to them.
He was very close. Their heads almost touched. Shecouldn’t decide if it was safer to shut her eyes and pretend he wasn’t there or keep them open and watchful. Threads of silver shone in his black hair. Despite his big hands, he was gentle. His calm voice went a long way to settling her fears.
