Page 47 of Wagon Train Redemption
Recalling what she’d said earlier, he asked, “Are you also finding it easier to trust people?” He wasn’t sure what hewanted her to say, but would she say yes and include him in that statement?
At first, she stared straight ahead, and he wondered if she’d heard. But her fingers curled into fists, and a muscle in her cheek twitched. Something about that question upset her. Would she tell him why if he asked?
Her shoulders rose and fell, and her words came out slow and measured. “I trust those who have proven to be trustworthy.”
“That makes sense. But how do you discover that truth except by trusting just a little in the first place?”
She jolted around to face him, her eyes wide with protest. “That sounds like a recipe for disappointment and hurt.”
Those forceful words hit him like a physical blow, driving the air from his chest. “Angela!” He put out a hand to touch her. But when she shrank back, he changed his mind. “Who hurt you?” He could hear her teeth creak.
She sucked in air several times and puffed out her lips. “Floods and fires. It’s been an adventuresome journey. I’ll be grateful when we reach the fort.”
It was not an answer to his question. “Me too.” What else could he say? This was not how he planned the conversation between them to go. Perhaps now was not the time to broach the subject of a marriage partnership. Instead, he returned to the time he’d been away from Bruffin. “Did you ever meet Mabel Osbourne?”
“Mabel Os—Oh, I think you mean Mrs. Armsguard.”
“She got married? Well, not that I’m surprised.” Only that he hadn’t heard. In all the letters that traveled back and forth, no one had mentioned it.
“Why?” Angela tilted her head to the side as she looked at him.
“I courted her at one time. Don’t you remember?”
“I don’t remember much of my early days there. It was all so overwhelming.”
“Of course.” From backwoods girl to living with a rowdy, busy family. She must have felt like a duck out of water.
“You courted her? What happened?”
“Bertie.”
At her quick indrawn breath, he knew she understood. But he wanted to make it clear.
“Of course, she knew about my brother. Everyone in the community did. And everyone had an opinion about him. But she welcomed my interest, so I naturally thought she understood about him and accepted him. But—” He shrugged. “When I mentioned marriage, she seemed to welcome the idea. But—” He huffed out air at the memory. “She said she hoped I’d understand that she’d willingly marry me, but I must also understand that she would not welcome Bertie into our home. The word she used to describe him was mean and petty.” And still made anger twist through him. “I said that under those conditions I withdrew my offer. I never spoke to her again.” At least he knew Angela would accept Bertie. Her affection and tenderness for his brother was clear to anyone who cared to observe.
“Oh, Carson. I’m sorry.”
“It shouldn’t still hurt, but it does.”
“Maybe some hurts we shouldn’t try and forget. Maybe they are meant to make us careful.” Her eyes were probing, full of conviction.
“I suppose it has made me cautious about having people apart from family and close friends around Bertie.”
She nodded. “Cautious about people. Like me.”
“Except I’ve told you why I feel that way. You haven’t.”
Her fists again tightened. Her lips pressed into a thin line. She rocked her head back and forth. “I can’t. There are things I don’t care to resurrect.”
Put that way, he had to relent. Besides, why did it matter so much to him? What he had in mind between them didn’t require that he know everything about her. “Very well.” He talked about other things. Learning to be a Mountie. Some of the people he’d met while on patrol. Some of the situations he’d encountered, though he limited himself to the ones that turned out well and avoided telling her of the awful ones. “I’m ready to settle down and have my own home.” With a partner.
“You deserve it.”
“Thanks. But my plans have changed with Ma and my sisters getting married. Even my baby sister.” His laugh was rueful.
“She’s pining for him. Poor girl.”
“Her and Robert. Still surprises me.” Now was the time to broach the subject uppermost in his mind. “I wanted to tell you about the Andersons.”
