Page 45 of Mail-Order Bride Mommy
Matt felt her pain like an arrow piercing his chest. He didn’t remember moving but suddenly he was next to her, his arm across her back, her head leaning on his shoulder. “Callow young man,” he murmured and was rewarded with her soft laugh.
“I realize that now. But at the time…” She shrugged. “It was one more loss in my life and I felt like my heart had been ripped out.”
He knew the feeling but to think she’d been hurt like that made him wish he’d been there. He would have stood by her.
“And then there was Wilson Lange. He was a friend of Maurice’s and visited at our house. We courted for a few years. The friendship was comfortable. He came along with others but also on his own. We talked, played table games, and read to each other.” Her gaze shifted from his slightly and she sighed softly.
"One day he announced he was heading to Canada and new opportunities. He halfheartedly asked if I wanted to accompany him, but I said I must stay and take care of Maurice. He left shortly after that without so much as a tender goodbye. I missed him something terrible.” She sat back and stared at him. “I’ve often wondered if there’s something wrong with me that no one…” She looked away. “Seems to value me.” Her voice fell to a whisper.
He ran his gaze over her face, pausing at her full pink lips then returning to her eyes. “Upon close examination, I have to say I see nothing wrong with you.” Had those husky words come from his mouth?
Her cheeks blossomed like June roses and a smile creased the corners of her eyes. She shifted out of his arms. He resisted the urge to pull her back, telling himself it was only to keep her warm.
She focused directly on him. “Just think. If Wilson had been more interested in me, I might now be living in Canada.” Her gaze lingered for two heartbeats then shifted to Lindy who had collected a pile of rocks and sat rearranging them. “And then I wouldn’t have the joy of taking care of her.”
Lindy. It was the only reason he’d undertaken this mail-order bride business. And that’s all it was…business.
Except at the moment, it didn’t feel business-like.
Lindy jumped up and brought a handful of pebbles to Gwen. “See how pretty they are?” She held one up to the sunlight. “This one sparkles.” She stared heavenward. “Just like angels in heaven.” She ran back to her pile of rocks.
Matt reached to the side for another piece of wood he tossed on the fire. Gwen brought her attention back to him, surprise in her eyes.
“No rush to get home.” He sat down beside her. “I want to make sure you’re good and dry before we return.”
She smiled, sunshine and moonbeams in her eyes. “It’s nice to sit here and enjoy the fire.” Her voice fell to a whisper. “And the company.”
When she didn’t look Lindy’s direction, he let himself believe she meant she enjoyed his presence. And why not? There was nothing wrong with his company.
“Did you go on picnics back in Kellom?” It was a silly question. Of course, she did. But he wanted to hear about her life before she’d come to marry him. Who did she go with? What did they do?
She rearranged her skirt again, shifting the fabric toward the fire. “I belonged to a group of young ladies who gathered with Mrs. Strong for Bible study. We went on a picnic two or three times a year. It was fun. Usually, we went a distance from the river. Our favorite spot was under a spreading tree that allowed us a wide viewpoint.” She tipped her head and looked thoughtful. “It was nothing compared to looking out at Shannon Valley from the ranch.”
The way she looked at him caused his heart to gently tip over like a puppy wanting to be patted.
“What about you, you must have gone on picnics?” Her gaze shifted away, leaving him disappointed. He dismissed the silly notion and concentrated on her words as she continued to speak.
“Wide open spaces to explore. I think you could go miles in any direction and find something new.”
He chuckled. “What you call a picnic, we call work.” He suddenly found things he wanted to tell her. “Pa would take the four of us out with him to check on the herd or sometimes simply to ride the range and explore. I haven’t thought of that for years. At the time I thought he was making sure we knew every inch of the land but….” He paused as his thoughts took shape. “Maybe he was spending time with us for another reason.”
She waited, her eyes full of patience and…
He didn’t say anything more. It was downright silly to think she was interested in more than his stories…that she was interested in him.
He continued, “Every trip was a learning experience. He taught us how to survive in the mountains. He had a native friend who sometimes joined us and taught us so much.” He leaned back, a sense of contentment flowing over him. “I have some good memories of those times.”
“It sounds wonderful.” Her eyes glistened with pleasure.
“One of these days I’ll take you out and show you the land. You and Lindy.” Though the child had been added as an afterthought.
“I’d like that.” She sighed and rearranged her skirts again.
“Are you getting dry?”
“I am. Your talk of memories reminds me of the happy times we had when my parents were alive.” Her gaze went past him into the distance. “I remember one particular time. The weather was abysmal. Father had decided it was wise to remain indoors. The house was cold with the bitter wind battering it, so we gathered in the parlor, sitting close to the fireplace. Father was in a pleasant mood and said it was nice to be together safe and sound. Mama made tea and we ate a few cookies as we enjoyed our tea. Our parents told us stories about their youth. Things we’d never heard before. We laughed often. It’s hard to believe that they were both gone the following winter, but I cherish that day. I guess I’ve never since felt so—” She turned her hands palms up. “It sounds silly. Needy even. But that was the last time I felt so important to anyone.”
Matt wanted to pull her into his arms and reassure her. It surprised him how much he longed to say he valued her. “You’re important to Lindy.”
