Page 31 of Mail-Order Bride Mommy
She bent her head and prayed for Lindy and Matt. And that she would be strong.
* * *
Wantingto avoid an encounter with anyone or risk having one of his brother’s ask what he was doing, Matt headed down the trail away from the buildings. He passed Luke’s house. A lamp lit the kitchen, but he didn’t see any sign of his brother through the window. Not that he was tempted to go inside and complain about how unsettled things were. He didn’t expect or want sympathy.
He scuffed his feet in the dust as he walked. Why had he told Gwen about Corine? He’d only wanted to explain why he hadn’t met the train. Somehow, he’d said more than he meant to. He’d never told anyone how shattered he’d been after Corine, though they’d probably been able to tell. He thought of Luke’s comment about him being grumpy though he preferred to call it careful. He’d started being so after Corine’s death. That was four years ago. The pain had dulled but the habit remained. Reinforced by the accident that claimed Roscoe and his wife’s lives. Life was safer if people followed certain rules.
He stared into the darkening sky. He could no longer remember Corine’s face. He tried to recall her voice. Instead, he heard a bubble of laughter in his thoughts that he knew to be Gwen’s. He groaned. He did not want Gwen to replace Corine in his memories.
His steps slowed as he thought of the time he’d overheard Ma in her bedroom.Not my will, but thine be done.
That conscious choice guided her every day through tough times and good times.
Only a faint blush remained in the sky. Matt stopped walking as he considered his own choices. He’d tried to be friendly and amusing when he and Gwen had walked. And it had felt good. He would do his best to continue to do so. Turning, he retraced his steps.
“Howdy, brother.” Luke’s voice came from the shadows. “Getting dark for a walk.”
“Yup.”
“Are you having trouble not being grouchy?” He heard the subtle underlying chuckle in his brother’s voice.
For a heartbeat, Matt wanted to tell his twin to mind his own business and then realized Luke would already know that’s what he was thinking. He laughed. “It can be challenging especially when—”
Luke’s voice was soft and somber. “When things are unsettled and changing.”
“Yeah.” Matt leaned against the house beside Luke. Neither of them spoke for a spell. “Luke, did I ever tell you about seeing Mama cry and go to her bedroom?” He relayed the story to his twin. “Can I do any less than follow her example?”
Luke gave Matt a half-playful punch on the shoulder. “Why’d you never tell me that? I’m your twin. I’m supposed to know everything about you.”
“Is that written in a rule book somewhere?” Matt was half annoyed, half amused.
“I expect it is, but we don’t need a rule book. We just know each other.”
Matt didn’t argue because it was true. He waited, understanding Luke had something more on his mind.
“Matt, I know it’s been hard for you in many ways. Losing Corine just before your wedding was horrible.” He bumped his shoulder into Matt’s. “We have to move on. Ma and Pa would want it. I think Corine would want it. Roscoe and Merry would too.”
“I know, but it’s not easy.”
“I think your Gwen has been sent to help us on that journey. Wally said he heard her and Lindy laughing together and watched them walking down the trail, holding hands. You know I was joshing about taking your place when she came, but I’ve come to the conclusion she’s just what that little girl needs, and I think she might be just what you need too.”
“Me?” He was about to deny that he needed anything but what was the point? Luke would believe he was right because he thought he knew Matt better than Matt knew himself. He longed to rush away but if he did Luke would figure it was because he didn’t care to hear the truth. Instead, he changed the subject. “Has Riley gone to his house?” He told Luke about Gwen’s thoughts that she might be coming to a tar paper shack.
Luke chuckled. “And yet she came. Brave girl.”
Yeah. Guess she is.
“And then you didn’t marry her. I’m surprised she didn’t turn around and get back on that train.”
“It’s just a delay.” Although he might not feel as strongly about it as he once had.
Luke shifted. Matt braced himself for another punch on the shoulder, but Luke only rearranged himself.
“What exactly are you uncertain about? Are you hoping to fall in love with her?”
Disgusted with Luke’s foolishness, Matt strode away. “I’m going to see what Andy’s doing.”
“You can’t outrun your thoughts,” Luke called.
